MCC MEMBER PROFILE

Chairman - Desmond Bradley

Sadly no longer considered the founder member of MCC back in 1982. Originally from Cirencester, England (no relation to Fred West) but has been in Munich now for donkeys-years. Always to be found with a MCC tie for sale and talking about his special relationship with former PM John Major. Another favourite pastime is to suggest getting the captain drunk at the Forschungsbrauerei. Right arm handgrenade bowler and lower-order batsman. Happily married but no one has met his wife. Especially enjoys scoring in the rain overseas dressed in bizarre camouflaged shorts and singlet/wifebeater. Big fan of Tony Blair. In fact loves him to bits. Known to struggle getting off trams after several Mass. Currently recovering from heart attack after one too many MCC collapse. Seriously.

Secretary - Angus Furlonger

MCC artist formerly known as - Mark Lovell

Incapacitated Treasurer - Alan Bail

Reminds me of Botham in everything he does – especially with his ample girth. Great believer in farming at the crease and his bowling too is not to be underestimated. Gale is fine really apart from his sad affinity to Man Utd FC. Loves the hard, fast wickets of Zuoz where he's known to squeal like a pig. often found playing with mobile phone during game. Enjoys pointless friendly games. The scope of his talent is only matched by that of his waistline. Maintains this pointless website. Continues to wear pants/jock strap over top of trousers when batting. Village. Big fan of hard tackling Kiwis. Despite fatherhood (Benji) still rumoured to enjoy Friday club. Starting an Afghan rug collection.

Finally gets a profile after 18 months dedicated service to the club. Morgan aka ´The Captain´ is a quiet, reserved type of lad, until he has a sniff of the barmaids apron, then it all goes tits up. Bottles of wine before batting, slapping of pads with bat, all day/nighters. Goes big in many senses. Formed close relationship with former Captain of Vice Glig, likes being called tw@tboy. Surprise Runner-up in 2008/9 MCC Shank vote. Last seen in remake of Boys from Brazil.

Joined the club seeking salvation, MCC duly embraced and mothered him back to sanity. Promising start marred only by his failure to capitalise on après-spiel activities. Floppy bobby but good darts player, his throwing of arrows hides the custard arm seen on the field. Unfortunate supporter of French football - Les Gunners. Season could make or break the lad. Recently established himself as No.4 in the MCC bike batting list. Easily led astray, good mates with charlie and Bristol Dave. Deserved top pick in 2008/9 MCC shank listings. Pete Sobek a new club legend.

Captain Daniel Weston

2007 signing from Perth. Westy is sadly another Antipodean 2 pot screamer with more of a penchant for the bourbon train. Choo choo. Potentially a great bat although early innings suggested differently. Good runner between the wickets. Keen as. Still considered due. Great mates with Justin Langer JL. P1s favourite son. Les Jubber. Munich could make or break him. Already rumoured to be a millionaire after getting involved with Chinese Mafia. Owes the former skipper big time after selling him bogus Indian bat from Delhi car boot sale and giving him dubious share advice. I do what Daniel do.

Clare Rich. Another Kiwi to join the ranks. Goes against club tradition by looking younger than he is. Munich will change that. Finally made a real impact Zuoz 2008 winning MCC man of the tournament, despite his bust lip. Good friends with the scorer. P1's 2nd favourite son, albeit a little less successful than his mate allegedly. Likes playing football too and sitting on the bench - Judge.

Erratic twisted firestarter who escaped from Tasmania in a Mini cooper several years ago. MCC cunningly poached the left handed opener while he refuelled in Munich. He's still refuelling. Palfers has evolved into one of the clubs most reliable batsmen, hitting two centuries in 2008. Mark loves touring, uses his pass to the max, much more relaxed now he's hung up his bowling boots, sits back and enjoys the white wine kind of days.

Majid and his string vest/wifebeater were the fashion find of 2008. Fast right arm seamer with an ability to go big later in the innnings, slugfest. A great addition to the club, even likely to hold his own in the chinese tower. Tends to turn up late for everything, blames it on beautiful little daughter and his affection for Ikea. Kashmir legend. Concedes lots of extras. Mohammed Sami.

Wayne van Dalsum

New Zealand. This former triathlete is not a bad cricketer to be fair, although could improve his fitness levels. Left arm quick bowler and opening batsman, reasonable outfielder. Van Driver can be Van Halen or Van Damage at any given opportunity. Former German international now applying for British passport to ensure selection for Munich Ashes. Van Daddio has acquired a new son and daughter and is now struggling for elusive passes. Whenever he does play he gets triggered LBW. Highest ever MCC run machine with 5000+ runs.

Paul Scott of the Antarctic

Despite his worldwide travels still unfortunately afflicted with deep Geordie accent - similar to Sid the Sexist of Viz fame. Likes wearing 3-4 long sleeve jumpers even with temperatures in the 80s. Obviously shares his Geordie mate Gazza’s philosophy on weight loss and re-fuelling History. Another firm believer in the go ugly early approach. Fast bowler with smooth action, especially after a few caipis. Moves the ball prodigiously into the bat - usually the middle of it! Lower order batsman with lots of potential (to disappoint). Reinvented his Corporate machine mentality after a year with big hands.

Number 6. Great addition to squad. Hits long and hard. Players No.6. Now given up smoking. Dutch Dan. Not very tolerant though. Liable to turn after a few Starkbier Radler in beergarden. Big fan of Indian tax-free cricketing equipment and mango lassis. Models for BDM - Big Dan Munich. Another unfortunate individual afflicted with the Man Utd disease. Married, hitched, fertig. basta. Pablo Sear the latest addition to the MCC. Likes drinking tea in the Chinese Tower. Mango Lassi.

Quiet, unassuming Queenslander recently returned to the Fatherland in quest to claim club bowling record. Friendly medium-pacer and much improved batsman. A former rock star drummer with the Aussie band ‘Screamfeeder.’ Now lists gardening, sledging and creating rumblings among his interests. Successful 2002 Munich Ashes captain. Along with Lovell, banned from most of Munich's Public establishments, gets on well with Americans. Especially enjoys the snowy climate of Munich.

Douglas Giles

Proud Englishman forever extolling the virtues of old school batting techniques – Boycott, high-elbow and grafting for one’s runs. Bats in his hero Boycott’s mould – with less success. Bowling not worth a mention. Married to a lady who was once taught English by Mike Stringfellow. Small world. Big fan of Andy Flintoff. Great PJs under leather biking gear. Completed milestone 2000 runs for the club in 2009. Enjoys the Guinness tent during home England tests. GILO!

A not-so proud Englishman who masquerades as Kiwi to increase his chances of ‘pulling’, also reducing amount of abuse he receives from Aussies. Fast-medium swing bowler in big-eared Andrew Caddick mould (also you will note now a fellow Englishman). 2002 signing from Munich International CC where his diplomatic skills as captain were sorely tested. Likes batting at No.11 to lure the opposition into thinking he can’t bat and the jury is still out on this one. Never showers after games. Likes splashing out on Big Effective BBQs. Permanently injured and wearing black T-Shirts. Likes to go on tour but not to play - purely to meet acquaintances from his blackbook.

Mr Head. Married. Great keeper with an annoying jibber behind the stumbs. Gilchrist but better looking and right handed. Joined the club early 2007, keen as mustard early on, wife has since beaten that silliness out of him. Another of those Perth lads who seems afraid of a pint. Di Pernot.

Knut Haenelt

Heidelburg’s most famous son. A great planner and strategist who I am sure would make a great captain; such are his leadership qualities. Famous tourist, in fact only wants to play if games are at least 200kms from Munich's boundaries. Genuine, family man, too nice for this club.

John Wright

Former 'fast' bowler now reduced to donkey drops on the Flicx. Useful all-rounder and exemplary fielder. Lazy runner between wkts when suffering from aforementioned big nights. Whet club wingman. It's made for Wrighty.

Harry Khanna

Karaoke king of Munich's sleaziest joints. Has a penchant for females in straightjackets. Big fan of butchering chickens in beergardens. Wicket-keeper/middle order batsman who blatantly does not deserve the tag of iron-gloves. Also an interesting purveyor of spin with legendary disco approach to the crease. Enjoys picking up Eastie beastie cleaners in aforementioned sleazy joints.

Ian Finch

Nottingham’s finest son despite bent photo. Left-arm seamer a la Wasi Akrim? Unfortunately takes his girlfriend more seriously than his cricket. Sometimes prone to on-field hissy fits/tantrums. Memorable holder of club record 4 wkts in 4 balls v Le Arc in 2005. Great fielder a la Jonty Rhodes but not yet a born again member of God Squad. Very injury prone. Enjoys colliding with other fielders. Great mates with former Ex-Captain Nigel Beachball Shaw.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORKSHIRE. Bradford's finest son, alongside Peter Sutcliffe. Acted as new MCC merchandising mule immediately gaining massive brownie points. Recently become proud father of two. Could become useful all-rounder if more passes are forthcoming. Which appears rather unlikely.

The Major. Morning Fawlty. Hampshire won again. Millwalls top boy - Bushwacker. Elusive character, appearing when club least expects. Entered the lions den with limited success on the field but plenty off it. Onnit. Good mates with ex-MCC legend Morgan. Salman Butt. Strong beard. Strong look.

The original 2 pot screamer - see Zuoz 2007. Genuinely quick left armer, or at least was until his ankle popped out in Zuoz. Unluckiest bowler in club apparently. Good driver, confident and enjoys hitting boulders with hire cars. Recently promoted to 3 pots , nice bloke, wont stay that way though. Lord Lucan like disappearance. Likes doing teas. Paul Potts.

Since his mentor Gligorov was deported Algar has come out of his shell. Recently impressed further with superbly timed late tackle at Chinese Tower. Very capable big hitting bat, multi centurion. Useful fast bowler on quick bouncy wickets - that is anywhere other than in Munich. Owes the skipper big time after busting his bat. Says he can also bowl leg spin.

David Carr
Former long-suffering MCC secretary. Ambition is to field his own MCC family team. Clan currently stands at 6 children and climbing hard and fast Bill. Sadly struggles to gain many weekend passes and finds himself in semi-retirement. A very vocal version of Shane Warne, albeit Carrnage is way slimmer than Warnie. Left-hand bat, loves wearing helmet even against spinners and innocuous assorted pie throwers. Pretends he's an Aussie despite tight links with NZ. Recently taken to standing on square legs toes while facing anything resembling ´quick`

Munich Legends (HasBeens)

Brendan Dunne

Sydney. Young lad serving his first year in Munich. Skeletons left ashore, clearly moved on. League batting performance highlighted his bowling potential as a nippy inswinger. Fitness level suits the team more than his age. Spends most of his time flitting between eastern nosh bars and the Chinese Tower. Alot to learn. Needs to score. Like many of the new recruits - Not ready for Hamburg. Potential to bat No.5 in MCCs bike batting list. We know. Came of age in the 2006 season now an established social member with annoying habit of going too early.

Jason Gligorov Gimp

Another product of the MCC youth policy. Unfortunate gimplike tattoos. Questionable fashion tastes - shorts with belt. Crap darts player. Either German, Macedonian or Aussie depending on where he gets arrested. Steady bowler with bags of potential – an absolute bunny with the bat though. Keen fielder with crocodile catching technique. Another gardener and wannabe sledger lacking in relevant experience. Lost the plot recently investing most of his time on innocent and naive young Americans he preys on while Crawling Munich. Knowledge of the game is second to none - nobody knows less! Other cover.

Naveen Sharma

Prav’s brother, youngest player in the team - a keen up and coming German international cricketer. Will have a fine future as long as he listens to me and not his brother. Currently perfecting his forward defence in London. Also likes Tequila.

Mark Hamilton

Great beard. Spitting image of former England off-spinner Geoff Miller - although to be fair Mark is probably a better bat. Father John has taught Mark all he knows. Especially how to run a successful MCC Xmas raffle. Coming on leaps and bounds in the nets. An absolute beast on the Reeperbahn. The biggest dark horse that ever graced this planet. Another bloke who's too nice for the club....or at least we thought so until emails suggesting renaming the club to NCC, no further comment.

Newly wed Dr Parore freshly elected to handle MCC slush funds and Cayman Island subsidiaries and holdings. Big fan of wine and neckscarves. All rounder in the Jeremy Coney mould. A Kiwi nomad who has laid his hat or helmet in many necks of the world's woods. His 5 rules of batting will become legendary in Munich cricket - alongside his teas. Could definitely do with leasing Edwards' iron. Considered a gifted academic, which by Kiwi standards means he can tie his own shoelaces.

Established 1st Team W.Keeper. Bob Mitcham. Dark Horse, definitely a ladies man. Spends most of this time flitting between Munich and Canada being chased by cricket groupies. Looks like that bloke from the Verve. Always first on the scene and always gets what he wants. Just leaves scraps for others, mere scraps. Unfair.

Gary Edwards

English. Signed from Alster CC in Hamburg for 7 ciders and 4 caipis during happy hour. Left hander who amazingly averaged over 30 in Hamburg. Obviously struggling to come to terms with wickets in Southern Germany though. Great cook but enjoys attempted arson when baking pizzas. Veggie freak obsessed with Trannys and Jamaican Rum. He's Peter Pan and will never grow up.

Paul McGree

Former quiet man, who now talks very quickly, meaning it is hard to get a word in edgeways. 'Maysie' has yet to make mind up whether he is actually a Pommie or an Aussie. Delaying his decision until deciding which has the strongest Ashes side this year. Definitely a dark horse. Like Adam Gilchrist tends to walk in pressure situations. 3 Mass Limit - otherwise doomed. Recently stabilised by young Sav meaning 3 Mass limit is 1 Mass limit.

Ryan Saling

A rare import from Michigan, former student of Kev B. Only player at the club to look younger than he is (Maibock will change that), fact, word. Marshals the covers with a 'thick' lip and a spittoon although yet to be seen taking a catch without a glove. Misplaced High Standards not welcome at the club. Can be relied on to rescue damsels in distress. Promisingly enthusiastic although maybe more suited to the Major League diamond formation, runs scored on debut not to be overlooked. Could go either way. Likes playing with peoples lives, enjoyable 30th birthday behind bars.

Steve Power

Manchester man with a menacing tendency to follow through and stare savagely at the batsman. Steve ‘ the Stare’ is a very competitive all-rounder with a big heart and an even bigger belly than mine and that’s saying something. A proud member of England’s touring Barmy Army although he seems far too normal for that. A former bank manager in the Reginald Perrin mould, great runner between the wickets. Recorded first ever hundred against Prague 2003

Bill Cooper

Best WK club ever had. Legend, taught Lovell all he knew. Now to be found more on the golf course thrashing wildly at Bavarian foliage.

Aka Todd Hooligan. Sydney. Opening batsman and purveyor of evil flighted donkey drops. Likes incurring wrath of senior members by playing in shorts. Just not on is it Mr Chariman? Goes big way too early. Particular enjoys sleeping in hotel receptions on tour. Married to English girl, Father of lots of babies. Responsibilities will be the making of the man surely.

Another candidate for Bradley's scoring job when he hangs up his pencils in 2033 provided Larry eventually learns joined up writing. Unfortunately made a habit of turning up to nets in ugly Man Utd change kit. Therefore does not play much. Improving wicket-keeper and potential farmer at the crease. Bowling on a par with the captain. Large pies - help yourself at the buffet bar.

The hurricane. Lean and mean former fast bowler. A right arm version of Bruce Reid. Big Al is another new dark horse with a serious interest in rocks and Swiss women, doesn't believe in spadework, lets others do it. No mention of rusty watches at this juncture though. A very vocal volcanologist. The next Des Bradley. Meticulous, some would say picky. Hitched up and very much under the thumb.Nippon, Pearl Harbour.

Mr Music. He'll name that tune in 3, which is longer than he usually bats for. Buckets commutes weekly between Munich and England in between stopping off to collect various items of MCC cricketing merchandise. LH batsman who enjoys taking it on the body like his hero Brian Close. Dibbly dobbly left-arm handgrenades are his part-time fancy. Pompey.

Aiming to become the youngest deviant in club history. An English teacher with a serious interest in gardening and other associated activities. Leppo has been harshly judged a fringe player by some. Improving bowler and hard-hitting farmyard batsman. Fielding dubioso. Sideshow Bob. Enjoys wiping out MOMs with mushroom spikes.

Young looking Indian/German with a dangerous affinity for Irish drinking dens and loose Swedish bimbos. Fitness freak, good footballer, likes Tequila. Slow bowler with the shortest run-up in Germany and wannabe farmer.

Round - Alister

South Africa's favourite son joining MCC after apartheid. Likes sharks. Physically imposing both on and off the field, name gives a lot away. Very successful maiden tour of Slovenia, ball tending to follow him. Enjoys telling dreadful jokes and 'bumming' cigs during long train journeys. Loves bowling under pressure, allegedly setting up his own button-less, gut-showing shirt company. Allegedly.