Zuoz 2006

Zuoz tour 2006

It was a happy tour despite…
1. Germany beating Sweden to progress again in the world cup.
2. England playing like lepers once again v the mighty Ecuador.
3. Leaving the scorebook behind on my sofa in Munich. Basics.
4. Leaving the team kit bag in the trunk at the ground. Basics.
5. Gale not being able to afford any whites since his move to Switzerland
6. Saling not being able to afford any decent music on his ipod
7. Bob shaving off his beard for zuoz 2006.
8. The German border police being every so friendly.
9. Gligorov early schoolboy error in forgetting his passport and forcing a serious autobahn uturn. Basics.
10. A Swiss gardening drought which forced blades into tequila usage.
11. Sembi not knowing for a moment which bat to score his 200 plus tournament runs with.
12. Knut being a serious polish football fan. POD-OL-SKI & Miroslav.
13. Des, Dunne, gilo and Knut loving their journey to chur to watch the England game on the way back.
14. Not being able to find any proper food after Friday’s journey till well after midnight.
15. Lovell choosing a poor Bruce Springsteen song on the ipod journey down.
16. Hazza not quite being able to perfect the 2006 fire poke stabs as he might wish.
17. Des falling over whilst moving position during umpiring stint.
18. Des shamelessly triggering schoolboys and veterans alike – when the Richter says you’re out, you’re out.
19. Des and gilo being in danger of arrest for over celebration after beckhams winning goal v Ecuador.
20. Dunnes jail baiting being cut rudely short by a lairy man looking for skunk.
21. mcc fielding like lepers in tropical conditions v Winterthur.
22. The nasty chucking storms in the final. w@nkers.
23. Gale attempting to destroy McGree in a pre final nocturnal training session with only marginal success.
24. Saling driving like Mario andretti on way down after Chinese mista mista jet lag – ‘’its gonna get tight’’ – whilst suffering from bird flu.
25. Palfrey not scoring enough runs and permanently bumming tobacco of some sort.
26. Nothing too interesting or scandalous happening. No street markets. No roger moores. No arrests. No one even pulled a fat bird. Or pulled at all, for that matter. What are we doing wrong?
27. Mikey waldroi bailing for no apparent reason at the last minute and not telling anyone.
28. The chairman bringing gopping, allegedly tepid forschungsbrauerei beer and later demanding payment.
29. Former VC selling off the pride of augustiner to stray opposition.
30. Blades doing wonders for oz/saffer relations whilst spectating during final. But it cost him two augustiner.
31. Laws clearly stating that one is meant to bowl with a straight arm.
32. Gilo being far too pissed too concentrate on scoring v Winterthur and having to be relieved by hazza.
33. General lack of eggs and sausages in the improved convict accommodation.
34. Dunne’s eating habits being regularly questioned.
35. Swiss ale being very poor froth.
36. Poor Alan border controls on trip down.
37. Insufficient lemons to spray on team schnitzel sat pm.
38. Lack of proper good manners, decency and decorum when dealing with the dorta’s barman/barwoman/dj.
39. Palfrey failing to implement promised Saturday team warm up session.
40. Chairman’s poor rendition of Oliver Cromwell song.
41. Gligs shyness when revealing latest sexploits at inopportune moments.
42. Too raucous antipodean behaviour and excessive beer intake from lower order while attempting to chase down 170odd to win v Winterthur and reach final.
43. Gilo always being late because of commuting issues on Lego set train from st Moritz to ground.
44. Saling’s chicken legs which do not bruise properly.
45. Blades only injuring his shoulder, NAD and side during the tour.
46. Palfrey attempting to imbibe all the Richter’s ale from well. Let alone my crate.
46. Palfrey attempting to imbibe all the Richter’s ale from well. Let alone my crate.
47. Team meal being hijacked by 13yo girls seeking father figures and role models. Those father figures later turned on them by questioning their weight, smoking habits and for simply not knowing where the action was.

The following eight European teams competed in the 2006 Zuoz international cricket festival.
Munich cc (2nd)
Basel cc (winners)
Zuoz Old boys
Lodi cc
Milan cc
Royal Zürich cc
Lyceum Alpinum

Zuoz Cricket Festival 2006.
24th and 25th of June 2006
Tournament Rules.
· The draw will be held at 9.15 on Saturday 24th.
· The tournament starts promptly on Saturday at 9.30 am.
· All matches will be of 30 overs per innings, with a maximum of 6 overs per bowler.
· The four winning teams from the Saturday morning will go through to the winners’ competition for positions 1-4 on Saturday afternoon and Sunday. The losing teams from Saturday morning play off for positions 5-8.
· The games on Sunday will start at 10.00am, except for the final which will start at 10.30am.
· Both sides should provide a scorer.
· The fielding side provides their own ball.
· No spiked shoes are to be worn on the cricket pitches.
· If there are any queries or suggestions regarding the tournament please contact me on (+41) 786 548 945.
George Campbell,
Games Master.
Round 1 MCC V Lodi

– Saturday sparrow
Palfrey: 32 Runs 2.0 – 0 – 3 – 2 (yes, 3wkts, 2 runs)
Lovell: 44
Appavu: 73 Runs 1.0 – 0 – 0 – 2
Gale: 8 Runs 6.0 – 1 – 3 – 17
Khanna: 8 Runs 2.3 – 0 – 1 – 10 1 catch
Blades: 11 Runs 3.0 – 0 – 0 – 16
Giles: 8* Runs 2 catches
Haenelt: 0*
McGree: DNB 4.0 – 0 – 2 – 19 1 catch
Dunne: DNB 4.0 – 0 – 0 – 10
Saling: DNB 1 stumping
MCC 221 for 6, Lodi 84 for 10
Semi final v Winterthur

– Saturday late doors
Palfrey: 21 Runs 2.0 – 0 – 0 – 13
Khanna: 13 Runs 1 catch
Appavu: 83* Runs 6.0 – 0 – 0 – 27
McGree: 39* Runs 6.0 – 0 – 0 – 41 1 catch
Gligorov: DNB 6.0 – 0 – 2 – 22
Blades: DNB 3.0 – 0 – 0 – 28
Gale: DNB 5.0 – 1 – 0 – 19
Dunne: DNB 2.0 – 0 – 0 – 18
Saling: DNB
Mitcham: DNB
Lovell: DNB
Winterthur 173 for 3, MCC 177 for 2
Final V Basel Fawlty

– Sunday sparrow
Palfrey: 14 Runs 5.5 – 1 – 0 – 46
McGree: 16 Runs 5.0 – 1 – 2 – 32
Appavu: 58 Runs 4.0 – 0 – 1 – 30 1 catch
Lovell: 14 Runs 1 catch (3 drops).
Gale: 21 Runs 3.0 – 0 – 0 – 20
Khanna: 16
Mitcham: 1
Giles: 1
Dunne: 8* Runs 1.0 – 0 – 0 – 10
Gligorov: 0 Runs 6.0 – 0 – 1 – 31 1 catch
Saling: 0 Quack quack . Golden Boy
MCC 172 for 10, Basel Fawlty 174 for 4
Brief cricket summary
First up were the Milanese Tifosi Azzuri Squadra Catenaccio Calcio Totti from Lodi. Lovell won a toss and made early hay with a quickfire 44. A still visibly faced Palfresi made 32 whilst Sembi took advantage of a drop to top score with 73. Mcc filled their touring boots to fire 221-6 in their 30overs. In reply the Italians were never really in it as Mcc fielded well early doors – holding all their catches and a splendid run out by the quiet man the highlight.
In the semi MCC took on local matador Winterthur. Mcc were asked to field first in tropical conditions. Innings got off to a less than perfect start with 5 NB’S from the Palfreyman. Glig was the pick of the bowlers with 2-22 from his spell as the Swiss team knocked up 173-3 aided by some pretty village fielding as MCC wilted in the stifling mountainesque heat. In reply MCC got off to a steady start and were up with the run rate at 50odd for 2. Sembi was then joined by Mcgree to form a match winning partnership as MCC cruised home by 8 wkts with 9+ overs in hand.
The final Sunday v Basel with the MCC troops surprisingly well rested after a short evening the night before – apart from Mcgree and Alan of course.
MCC were asked to bat first with the top order all getting themselves in. Alas only Sembi only went on top scoring again with another half century. MCC closed on 172 possibly 30odd runs light. In reply Basel struggled early up against Glig and Mcgree. A couple of tough half chances went down and the game slowly but surely slipped away. Basel won comfortably in the end by 6 wkts.
An enjoyable tour – thanks for the memories.

Slovenia 2005

Munich Gloating Over Ljubljana Win

Ryan ‘Standards’ Saling

The Munich Cricket Club hit the ground running with a commanding victory over Ljubjana Cricket in it’s first International Tour of the 2005 season

While all signs may have been pointing to mediocrity in the debut road trip, the club managed to pull together and ride the wave to a successful showing on Slovenian soil.A forecast of rain leading up to departure seemed to effect the mental preparation of some of the MCC squad, notably Luke Sobek and Dave Weatherall. Sobek was ready to pull out of the Tour but was back in at the eleventh hour leaving the MCC captain with tough playing decisions. Weatherall flat out missed the train. Never the less, both recovered admirably. Weatherall met the team at the Ljubljana station and parlayed that success into 2 wickets and a fine umpiring performance. Sobek, the North London native, shined in the field with two great catches and 2 wickets of his own. The last wicket, a controversial beamer turned snapped stump to a Romanian bird/batter that obviously was still shaken over the sledging/come-ons of Andrew Bostock and his cold sores. Sobek’s performance was no doubt in large part due to the excessive amount of rest that he was able to get while not spending much time on the town.

MCC captain Bostock continued his touring tradition of planning the entire event around his need for female companionship. Having to spend the match on the boundary didn’t seem to dull Kiwi’s enthusiasm as he managed to make a play on everything with a heartbeat. So eager for companionship was the pseudo –POM that he rendezvoused with a less than attractive bloke from a football tour also visiting the Slovenian capital. That too went afoul after his roommate beat him back to the hotel room and spoiled the evening for him by breaking up the secret soiree.

Paul McGree stepped in assumed the captaincy in the match and didn’t let the lack of ability to take wickets dull his leadership skills. His stoic demeanour was reinforced by a very focused Desmond Bradley. Like McGree, Bradley led not necessarily with his words but with his attitude and focus throughout.

The Müncheners began the sun filled day at the bat with questions abound. This marked the return of MCC veteran Mark Lovell to the crease. The critics were unsure what direction the day was to go after speculation was rampant about his injuries sustained when he fell off the wagon the day before. But Lovell was not one to gloat and stroked the Ljubljana bowlers to the tune of 151 runs on 39.5 overs before being dismissed on the last ball of the innings. The selfishness of Lovell did seem to affect Knut Haenelt as he was denied his hundredth run for the MCC. So distraught was Haenelt that he fled the celebrations later that night and turned it in before midnight. There is no doubt in this reporters mind that Lovell could have toppled the record of 155 runs had he moved as quickly between the stumps as he did at the sight of a rodent at the post match festivities.

MCC’s other run support came from a handful of veterans including the second half of the opening partnership. Doug Giles was able to rack up 16 runs on the day. One is left to wonder if he could have chopped his way to more had he been able to wear his flannel shirt and red hat in place of the more traditional whites. Harry Khanna went 26 runs not out when the 40th over hit. His slugging performance was overlooked until he went down on the 2nd ball of the host’s innings. All that hard hitting must have softened the hands leaving him unable to continue at the keep. Then again, it could have had something to do with his desire to show off his dancing skill with the ball in hand, returning later in the match to take a pair of wickets himself. Ian Mitcham contributed 13 runs to the effort but not without the help of team-mate Ryan Saling who, in line with Bradley’s orders, dropped him at the boundaries to keep his innings alive. Mitcham kept the spirit alive after the injury to Khanna by taking his first stumps as an MCC wicket keeper.

A hotel partnership of Alex² (Gale and Nichols) provided politics, philanthropy and four wickets to the Tour. Between his infatuation with dead ducks and their (or his depending on which side of the pond you are on)sexual preferences and his defence of PM Blaire’s going to war in Iraq, Nichols was able to provide the visiting side with two wickets of his own. His roommate on the other hand was the definite all rounder of the weekend. Alex Gale was reported to have provided his services to a group of local Ljubis in the form of setting up their open air market in the pre-dawn hours of the match day. All in exchange for a handful of carrots and spring onions. Such acts of kindness were obviously not overlooked when Gale opened the bowling for MCC and promptly took two wickets. Speculation had been that the health of Gale was sub par after he was seen having his face bounced off the street by team-mate Saling the previous night. The altercation was reported to have had something to do with a female but rumour has it that it was because Gale didn’t know how to say fillet or albino in proper Microsoft English.

Two Tour virgins played pivotal roles in the success of the team as well. Alistair Round provided the style with his not to go unnoticed Hawaii 5-0 dress and the chicness of only buttoning one button and letting his girth do the rest. Ryan Saling, as previously reported dazzled in the field with his quick footwork and timely drop.

Calling this a successful Tour would not be without merit. That is unless you were Kiwi and you couldn’t play and your only motivation for going was to get laid. Then this Tour was an unmitigated disaster, platinum ducking out with everything he talked to, including a Swedish midget with abnormally large ankles. The MCC looks to bankroll the success of this Tour into more W’s in upcoming league fixtures. Upon the rather warm return to München, official word out of the camp was the that team was celebrating the win BUT moving on.

Tour Summary

Bob ‘Gets what he wants’ Mitcham
Kiwi: 14 yr-old austrian hockey jailbait, snoopy shaggy dog, friend to the homeless, well connected with the ljadies, ‘may i assist you with that helmet, miss?’
Dave Buggerall: better ljate than never, two wickets (intimidation), tidy umpiring performance
Gale: markets, carrots, spring onions, champion of unpaid community service, holden caulfield school of humanitarianism, top order furniture removal, benevolent
Knut: denied 100th run for the club thanks to selfish MCC batting performance, solid in the field, tour junky
Ljovell: off wagon, no turn, sausage fest, union man, rattage, belly button, money shot, comeback kid: 151 = ljegend, celebrate and move on
Round: latest apprentice at the Smith/Bostock school of butchery, impressed with the ljubljanian broads basically, has punched clay uglier
Bradley: unusually quiet tour, plotting? misses having his own bar apparently (not ljong till zuoz, des), expert in British accents
McGree: superior captainage, responsible, deadly accurate yet unljucky with the ball, quietus mannus
Khanna: first time birded up on tour, feigned injury to ensure bowling, two wickets for the king of disco, moonwalk ready for zuoz, 26 not out
Giles: one half of large opening stand, enjoys running between wickets with lovell, ljumberjack (but he’s okay)
Saling: word, mid-west, rides the wave, excellent fielding (check’s in mail mate), ljoves a good 3D film, kind to animals, fillet, albino, messed gale up = bully
Sobek: kipper, two catches (never in doubt), thug: romanian girl full-bunger bodyline and subsequent stump shatterage, name that coffee, innit
Nichols: mallard necrophilia, flatulent herrings, immaculate ljine, two wickets, knows where the azores are (not switzerland, apparently)
Mitcham: exemplary performance as usual, doesn’t always get what he wants though
mingefest. no one pulled = village. nodding dogs.

League 2005


Match Details MCC vs Serendib (at Serendib), 15th May 2005

MCC Performers

Van Dalsum 64 st
Lovell 15 ct
Khanna 6 b
Appavu 9 lbw
Sear 18 ct
Gale 9 b
Nichols 3 b
Mitcham 1 b
McGree 0 lbw
Blades 1 *
Gligorov 0 b
TOTAL 38 Overs 145 for 10

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Gale 6 1 6 1
Gligorov 8 2 27 2
Sear 6 0 23 2
Blades 8 0 39 2
McGree 6.3 0 17 2
Appavu 1 0 12 0

Summary of Match Result

Serendib were all out for 125, so an exciting 20 run win for the MCC

Comments on the Match

In the first league game of the 2005 season the MCC got off to steady start with a solid Lovell/van Dalsum opening stand at Neuperlach. A tight early bowling performance by ex-Tegersee nachwuchs set the standard for what ammounted to a commendable overall bowling effort by the Seredib team. Despite a relatively true teabag, the in-form opening pair were forced to graft patiently. This pattern was punctuated by the calculated twattage of the occasional bad ball for an enormous six, keeping the MCC run rate nicely afloat. Van Dalsum lost Lovell to a classic catch when the larger man was on 15. Khanna, Sembi and Sear lent some support, the latter hammering a couple over the fence before slamming a crowd killer straight down square-leg’s throat. VD finally went for a well-made 64, leaving the MCC with the basis for what should have been a 200 total. This triggered a collapse of pointless proportions, seven wickets falling for 18 runs in a display that can best be described as, well, shit. MCC all out for 145 and the middle to lower order could only shuffle it’s collective feet. A gracious note of positivity from the early order batsmen got the MCC back out onto the park in reasonable spirits. What followed was a remarkable session for the fielding side. Gale and Gligarov bowled immaculate line and length to restrict the opposition to 7 runs from 7 overs with 2 batsmen back in the dressing room. Run-rate pressure starting to tell, the Sri Lankan’s star batsman tried to smash a rare Gligarov leg-side slider into Pfingstmontag. Thanksfully he succeeded only in misreading the pace of the ball and dragging it back onto his sticks, a crucial wicket. Sear, Blades and McGree maintained the bowling standards and wickets continued to fall steadily on a day when the MCC held their catches. The dream mid-on/mid-off team of Van Dalsum/McGree showed composure under several ‘hard swirlers’, making outfield catching look like a walk in the Englischen Garten, and coolly driving nails into the Serendib batting coffin. A freakish McGree run-out off his own bowling confirmed his season motto of DIY. The quiet man shuffled his field and bowling attack to perfection and brought the bumblebees over the line by knocking off-stick out of the turf with just 20 runs left in the bank. All that remained was a trip to Forschungbrauerei for uncooked meat and big brown liquid comfort. A bokked-up Blades provided entertainment in the nippy evening air. As a sensible gambler once wrote, it’s all about celebrating a win and moving on. Moving on to several other pubs probably wasn’t what he had in mind, but what can you do. The rabble factor won out and the rest, as they say, is sausagefest history.

MCC Man of The Match

An exciting and encouraging start to the season on a day when they bowled tight but we bowled tighter. But we couldn’t have done it without runs on the board. Woman of the match: Janette van Dalsum.


Match Details MCC vs MICC (at Westpark), Sun 12th June 2005

MCC Performers

Van Dalsum ct 8
Lovell ct 78
Appavu ct 25
Khanna b 1
Gale ct 5
Mitcham b 0
McGree ct 2
Nichols ct 5
Pryke ct 1
Blades not out 0
Scott b 0
TOTAL 38.1 Overs 139 for 10

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 8 0 27 1
Blades 6 0 36 1
McGree 8 0 19 4
Pryke 6.2 0 27 1
Gale 2 0 10 0
Appavu 5 0 17 0

Summary of Match Result

We lost by 3 wickets

Comments on the Match

The big League match between Munich’s traditional rivals got off to a good start for the MCC, with us winning the toss & electing to bat. Lovell & Van Dalsum arrived just in time to put on the pads & open up the innings. Unfortunately Wayne was unable to settle, possibly distracted by some strange interpretation of the wide rule, & was dismissed early doors. Sembi came in to join Mark, & they proceeded to construct a 50+ partnership that put the MCC in a good position. Sembi then committed an act of cricketing madness, failing to capitalise on a dropped chance, & getting caught by the same man with the same shot next ball! Wickets fell steadily after that, with the exception of Mark Lovell, who went on to capitalise, making a magnificent 78 runs (well over half our score). We were eventually dismissed for 139, which was a disappointing total & below expectations. Our bowling effort was again gallant, with runs hard to come by against the tight bowling & fielding display. Scott & Blades bowled well early, with Tones unlucky to suffer from mis-hits carrying the short boundary. The spinners worked their magic thru the middle overs, with Pryke, Appavu, & McGree all getting long spells – McGree ending up with 4 wickets. However it was all to no avail. The MICC’s eventually crawling past our total with only a few overs left.

MCC Man of The Match

The rejuvenated Mark Lovell batted superbly again, with 78 valuable runs


Match Details MCC vs POCC (at Hirschanger) Sat 25th June 2005

MCC Performers

Parry ct 2
Lovell b 0
Appavu ct 3
Bostock ct 8
Gale lbw 1
Nichols b 25
Mitcham st 43
McGree run out 12
Gligorov ct 1
Blades not out 6
Scott b 0
TOTAL 36.5 Overs 138 for 10

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 8 0 37 0
Gligorov 4 0 28 2
Bostock 4 0 25 1
McGree 8 2 30 4
Gale 5 0 18 0
Blades 6 1 25 1
Appavu 3.5 0 21 2

Summary of Match Result

MCC lost by 47 runs

Comments on the Match

On a typically blazing hot day in Munich (over 30 degrees), Pak Orient won the toss and with no surprise decided to bat first. After the odd initial display of Pakistani pyrotechnics MCC picked up 2 early wickets, with Gligorov doing the damage. Kiwi picked up self confessed cow corner specialist and team non walker Ali Amjad – having dropped him on the cow corner boundary just a couple of overs before – to leave Pak Orient 3 down for not many. A brief recovery period followed, but this was short lived as McGree came into the attack and picked up 3 wkts for next to nothing to leave POCC at 93/6 at the drinks break. However controversy appeared in the last over before the drinks break, when McGree appeared (according to many) to take a good catch moving forward at mid-off. The umpire said not out straight away, and a heated debate moved proceedings up a notch. POCC had a strong period where they scored runs at will before Blades sent the dangerous Waqar back for 41. POCC ended with 185 all out off 38.5 overs. McGree the pick of the MCC bowlers with 4/30 off 8 overs. As is so often the case in recent times a collapse of disastrous proportions left MCC reeling at 29/5, a fighting partnership between Nichols (25) and Mitcham (43) gave MCC some respectability, unfortunately MCC could not recover from being 29/5, ending up with 138 all out off 36.5 overs.

MCC Man of The Match

Two good performances. McGree, tight controlled spell of bowling – 4/30 off 8 overs, and Bob Mitcham – 43, batted a lot of overs in hot conditions, never gave up.


Match Details MCC vs Lufthansa (at Hirschanger), Sat July 16

MCC Performers

Lovell b 7
McGree b 18
Bostock lbw 4
Appavu b 2
Sear b 8
Albert b 14
Gale b 2
Scott c 1
Edwards not out 6
Gligorov lbw 0
Dunne b 0
TOTAL 28.4 Overs 85 for 10

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 2 0 7 0
Gale 2 0 13 0
McGree 7.5 0 30 1
Appavu 3 0 15 1
Gligorov 4 1 19 1

Summary of Match Result

Lufthansa won by 6 wickets

Comments on the Match

The match was doomed for controversy before a ball was bowled. A starting time of 12.30 had been arranged in advance, however, Lufthansa was nowhere to be seen. At 12.55 the opposition finally strolled through the gates, a heated exchange started the days proceedings and the upshot was that MCC won the toss by default and decided to bat first. The decision seemed to back fire almost immediately. A clutter of wickets fell at regular intervals with no-one really settling in, McGree with 18 and Albert with 14 were the only ones to bat with any degree of comfort. Edwards, G remained stranded on 6 not out, MCC posting an underpar 85 from 28.4 from their allotted 40 overs. Needing only 86 runs to win, but with rain around the corner, Lufthansa started their chase briskly. With the score on 21/0 after only 4 overs, the players left the field for the first of several rain breaks. Returning 30 mins later, Mcgree, Appavu and Gligorov picked up wickets, however, with such a small total to chase Lufthansa were always in control of the match. The players left the field again because of heavy rain with Lufthansa needing 2 runs to win. Another delay of about 20 mins brought more tension and debate as to the state of the game. The players returned to the field to complete the match after the rain had stopped. Lufthansa decided to play funny buggers by not trying to score the winning runs – objectively trying to keep us out there as long as possible in the drizzle – village! – 2 wides were finally bowled to seal the Lufthansa win and this put an end to a nasty game of cricket, which was played for the majority of the time in farcical circumstances.

MCC Man of The Match

Hammo, M – not only did he help set up the ground, packed up at the end, & score in the rain, but he took home the team tea kettle the night before and spent the best part of a night scrubbing the thing till he could see his bearded reflection. Sparkling effort that! – clone this man!


Match Details MCC vs POCC (away, Cup game), Sun July 24

MCC Performers

Van Dalsum c 0
Giles c 0
McIntosh c 5
Appavu hit wicket 51
Sear c 18
Finch st 3
Khanna c 16
Holmes b 5
Lepani b 11
McCauley c 6
Dunne not out 2
TOTAL 28.4 Overs 137 for 10

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
McCauley 6 0 55 1
McIntosh 8 0 62 0
Appavu 8 0 45 4
Sear 8 1 29 2
Finch 2 0 23 0
Dunne 8 1 27 1
Lepani 1 0 14 0

Summary of Match Result

POCC made 8/263, winning by 126 runs

Comments on the Match

We began the day badly, half the team not even finding the ground until just before starting time. We could have taken this as an omen, but instead we named Van D captain, and then introduced the opening bowlers to him. As club tradition goes, we lost the toss and were set to field. Perhaps the time in the pasture would liven some of the guys up, but to no avail. The bowlers began well, but as a rough introduction to Munich cricket, they found the power of POCC and the tiny field working against them, and despite the excellent bowling of Semby, Sear and Dunne, we were punished to a total of 263. So we started out to bat. The captain in a rousing speech managed to install some vigor into the young players, with his demands of “no mucking around and getting ducks” almost making a big impression. Except for the openers of course. Sembian restored some strength into the batting line-up, but started running out of partners. When I was at the other end, he was removed by a freak ball that bounced a foot outside off, putting him on the back foot, but then it totally failed to bounce and headed straight for the stumps. Semby kept it out, but struck down the wicket in the process. Then into the tail, none of us offered much resistence, and we were skittled for 126.

MCC Man of The Match

Sembi played very well, leading wicket taker & run scorer


Match Details MCC vs CCB (at Hirschanger), Sat July 30th

MCC Performers

Lovell c 20
McGree not out 20
Appavu run out 20
Sear not out 12
Albert, Bostock dnb
Khanna, Scott dnb
Gligorov, Edwards dnb
Dunne dnb
TOTAL 14.5 Overs 96 for 2

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 8 1 20 0
Gligorov 8 2 13 0
Sear 8 2 17 4
McGree 8 1 30 3
Appavu 2.1 0 5 0
Dunne 2 0 5 1

Summary of Match Result

MCC cruised home by 8 wickets

Comments on the Match

This was a critical game for the MCC, with a lot of pride at stake. A loss to the CCB – who are the consistently one of the weakest teams in the league – would relegate us to the wooden spoon position for 2005. Definitely a situation we wanted to avoid. CCB started off the batting, against the opening bowling combination of Scott & Gligorov. Tight opening spells from both went unrewarded with wickets, but kept the scoring pressure on the opposition. Dan Sear was introduced into the attack as first change, & immediately began to rip thru the opposition top order. Wickets began to tumble at regular intervals, & Dan finished with his season-best figures of 4/17. He was supported by the spin of McGree at the other end, who also chipped in with 3 wickets of his own. CCB eventually collapsed all out for 92, which was a very gettable target on a gloomy Summers day in Munich. MCC opened up with Lovell & McGree, who combined for a strong opening partnership. Lovell departed for 20, but the runs continued to flow steadily, as both Sembi & then Dan hit some sparkling boundaries, as the total was reached in a canter inside 15 overs with 8 wickets to spare. Just as well for the quick finish, as we managed to beat the late Munich thunderstorms & enjoy some celebratory beers early doors.

MCC Man of The Match

McGree (3 wkts and 20 not out) and Sear (4 wkts and 12 not out) were hard to separate


Trento 2005

Heet di Rabbiche Tourneo, Italia 2005
Trentino Cup September 3-4 – 6aside tournament



Ogni squadra è composta di sei giocatori
Gli innings delle partite del 1° turno sono di 6 overs, le semifinali e le finali 7°-8°, 5°-6° e 3°-4°

posto 8 overs, la finale 1° e 2° posto 10 overs
Gli innings di 6 overs devono essere giocati in 20 minuti, quelli di 8 overs in 30 minuti, quelli di 10 overs in

40 minuti. La squadra che dovesse eccedere tali limiti verrà penalizzata con 4 runs per ogni minuto in

eccesso (verranno attribuiti come extras nello scoresheet di battuta della squadra avversaria)
Tutti i fielders devono lanciare almeno un over, nessun fielder può lanciare più di due overs
I wides e i no balls costano 4 runs ma non devono essere ripetuti
I battitori devono lasciare il campo al raggiungimento del 25° run, non possono ritornare in campo

alla perdita del 5° wicket
“Last man stands”: alla caduta del 5° wicket l’ultimo battitore può continuare a battere con un

running partner
L’ultimo battitore può continuare a battere fino al raggiungimento del 25° run, poi deve lasciare il campo

e l’innings è così concluso
Il run up del bowler è limitato a 5 yards/4,5 metri, una linea sul campo contrassegnerà tale limite
In caso di parità punti al termine del primo turno la squadra che accederà alle semifinali verrà

stabilita mediante ricorso al bowl out
Il pareggio si ha in caso di parità di runs, il numero di wickets perduti non viene preso in considerazione
Se una finale o una semifinale termina in pareggio (stesso numero di runs) il vincitore verrà deciso

mediante ricorso al bowl out
LBW non è ammesso
Vengono assegnati 2 punti in caso di vittoria, 1 punto in caso di pareggio e 0 punti in caso di sconfitta
Le decisioni arbitrali sono definitive

Assembled Italian job cast
Desmondo Badly as El Presidente
Pablo Mcgree as Capitano Loco Cranki
Allesandro Gale as Alan, BDM
Gregori Holmes as Long John Sofa
Marco Lovelli as Leffe di Garda, Pinogrigio
Marco Palfrey as Cardinal Chunder
Ryandre Saling as di Americano
Danielo Sear as di Matrimonio, BDM

Oh what a lovely time we had the day we went to the Riviera.

The advanced party of Gale and Lovell were both forcibly kidnapped by the angry American and ordered to be ready for a pointless 7AM sparrow fart getaway to avoid the famous Friday trafficfest on the autostrada. Gale was sadly late on parade due to uncertainty as to which fashionable flowerpot to parade on the trip – after lengthy consultations with his milliner, he opted for a delightful pink female japanese pot..

The journey down itself was fine – although the driver (Mario Andretti?) did insist on playing with his PODS and thus nearly went into a spin on at least three occasions while trying to change the music on said PODS. Oh and not to mention his poxy navigator system, that continually gave directions the wrong way down one-way streets, or didn’t say anything at obscure intersections. Basics. Schoolboy. So not ready.

Saling Standards’ also meant of course that he was unwilling to stay in the farming village for the duration of the trip. On the plus side this did mean that the early advanced trio had ample time to enjoy a lovely day relaxing at the beach enjoying wind surfing, swimming and sampling the local culinary delights. There was even time for a shopping exurcsion for Lovell to seek out some sleek Italian football boots which would have fitted if it werent for his bunyons.

Later that evening after a well earnt siesta at the hotel pool, the obligatory fest di sausagio in Riva del Garda proved to be an exercise in Leffe – that evil king of Belgain beers. It proved too much for the assembled Englishmen (die blöde Engländer) as they were abruptly ushered to their hotel quarters by the friendly security guard who had just made them 2 sandwiches a piece on their long awaited return to the hotel. To be fair the sandwiches needed some ketchup and the bread itself was a tad stale – unlike the Leffe. The baldy security guard and impromptu boxing ref obviously wasnt impressed with Gales low and sloppy guard which meant that he soaked up too many cheap shots to the kidneys. This was confirmed at the next mornings weigh in at breakfast when Gale stated to his experienced corner and cuts man Saling that he had been p1ssing blood all evening.

Of course Saling spent the evening texting his bird and making long distance fone calls to Australia discussing the perilous state of the current Ashes series. So not ready. Saling did prove himself to be a dog lover that evening – the canine variety of course. He was seen stroking a pooch for about 25mins. Lovin it he was.

Meanwhile on the other side of the riviera keen upstanding model citizens Sear and Holmes made their way down in their own cars due to the pressures of having high profile jobs and actually having to do some work for a living. Poor b@stards. Later however having been deprived of so much QDT they then decided to attack the hotel bar with such a frenzy that the locals ran out of Grappa. Basics.

Larry Holmes later paid the price for the grappa indulgence, texting the skipper at 8am from the hotel lobby, the breakfast bench or sofa to be exact, to find out which room he was supposed to spend the next 45mins in before departing for the long awaiting thrash fest on the Saturday morning.

Big Dan Munich (BDM) apparently conducted himself well despite copious amounts of grappa. I put this down to him being very nervous due to his impending doom, sorry wedding next week to the beautiful Patricia. Buena Suerte Dan!!! Matrimonio. Esposo…si.

That leaves the senior members of the touring party. The Chairman in his luxury Merc with an all Australian back seat back door line up as passengers with skipper Mcgree and new tea boy Mark Palfrey. Palfrey possibly a little too keen to impress the selectors may have overdone the grappa too and was later nicknamed Cardinal Chunder for the rest of the tour. Welcome to the MCC, the team that loves to grapple. The Chairman was clearly a trifle unimpressed though by the new left hander’s obvious failure to bring a razor and thus christened him Crocodile Dundee by the end of the tour.

Mcgree spent the evening working out the tournament rules, stats and a game plan to take into the MCC 2ND Trentino cup appearance after the Italian Job of 2002. He mulled over his options in secretive mode.

So onto the cricket Saturday where MCC decided to meet up at the Mcdonalds in Trentino at 0945am to avoid getting lost en route to the ground. Unfortunately this being Italy with a typically relaxed attitude to work and actual working hours it didnt open till 11am so a former skipper was denied his early morning toilet trip. Such are the obstacles one has to overcome on tour.

Eventually we turned up at the ground to face the opening match versus the hosts Trentino CC. In a move stinking of cheap grappa the Aussie skipper (still sulking from Pontings run out at Trent Bridge) surprisingly dropped his Bothamesque all-rounder Lovell from the opening game. Favouring the addition of an extra bowler in the well endowed shape of Long John Holmes. Batting first MCC got off to a shaky start before Gale aided by Holmes pushed their score up to 75 off their allocation of 6. This seemed pretty much par for the course.

In reply Trentino seemed to be coasting before the skippers hunch to include Bambinos arm Holmes came to fruition. A miserly over from him and then the skipper and Trentino came down to the last ball needing 4 to win bowled by Mcgree. He removed the batsmans furniture and it was goodnight irena. Ciao..

The second game saw Lovell introduced as wicket keeper batsman in place of Saling, whose mouth had by that stage swollen up to freak proportions due a massive dip input around 1145am. MCC knocked up 98 with Lovell, Gale and Sear all going big. Indomita were never in the hunt in reply as MCC coasted to an easy win.

Mantua were next up and it was clear by this stage that they were ‘very keen to win’. Their supporters were even invading the pitch to celebrate the regular fall of wickets. This was a hint of things to come on Sunday but we shall save that for a rainy day.

There was of course time in between for Saling and Badly to be involved in an unsightly hit ball twice contraversy while both were umpiring another game. The duo handled the volatile situation though with the amplomb associated with such trustworthy characters.

Ultimately in the final group winner decider v Mantua, MCC conceded a bag full of runs and were left chasing around a 100 to win in 6overs. All of the bowlers took a real caning. The buffet bar opened its doors early with some nice tasty half vollies, full tosses and cream puffs all on display. However the Sceptic Saling did celebrate his first ever wicket so all credit to him. Left arm darts a la Tuffers.

In reply Sear went big aided by Alan Gale but it was never going to be enough. But by this stage MCC had of course done enough to qualify for the next days semis by finishing second in the group. So it was a contented group of hot and sticky players by the end of first days play at Trentino.

Soon after though the skipper Mcgree turned and got cranky apparently due to a low food intake in the previous 24hours. This meant the team were forced to walk around Trentino’s main square and cobbled side roads in search of a suitable meal for the skipper. They had hoped to watch England v Wales WC qualifier but this option was cruelly denied them by the recent but obviously long overdue closure of Trentino’s only Irish bar with Sky Sports TV.

In the end we returned to the hotel after a brief food and watering session and went our seperate ways for a few moments, some even managed to watch the end of the football. Saling went to the land of nod and never returned. 1hit wonder. Shadow. Word.

Gale and Palfrey showed impressive early form which was to continue to the end of tour. Badly was a solid influence as usual despite wearing a massive black wife beater singlet with stains.

We met up later for the long awaited tournament meal by walking a couple of clicks from the digs to the restaurant in Caldanazzo. Rumblings from the hosts that it was far too cold to sit outside were met with scorn from the hardened kraut tourists who scoffed at this soft idea. Slowly the locals warmed and seated themselves outside too. An hour later when most were already tucking into their delicious meals there were massive rumblings from the sky and it positively p1ssed down, a massive electrical storm meant the proceedings were taken indoors for safety reasons.

A good time was had by all wíth the local Ranatungas providing some extra help in the form of whisky and Gordon Greenidge. Great food of course as usual washed down with some nice local vino.

Gale did his best to impress a senorina with Holmes’ Italian phrase book. No mention of cutting Pakistani opposition grass at this juncture. The Chairman did insist though on singing Dads Army songs at the dinner table (who do you think you are kidding Mr Hitler etc….) which was quite interesting as we were actually sat with the Axis powers at the time. Bizarro.

A spot of table football rounded off the sporting pursuits before the tourists returned to the hotel for a night cap. Sadly curtailed by the lazy bar stewards at the hotel insisting on calling it a day at 2am. Lightweights.

Thanks to Holmes though for donating a bottle of his future wifes wine to thirsty tourists, Palfrey and Lovell. Holmes is really coming on as an individual in my opinion. By this stage Lovell was trying to organise a 3am Betfair seminar on the hotel roof which woke up a few light sleeping individuals. It was agreed, mostly by Palfrey, that the Kiwis were a very fair price to win the 2007 WC.

Celebrate but move on. And we did.

MCC turned up after breakfast at the ground expecting an early semi final. OOPS. Rain had delayed events and games had to be put back. The unexpected delay was passed with the usual activities. Card schools, sleep and visits to the tennis club to try and spot some jailbait. Very successful. Apparently the Chairman is aware that he has to follow suit in 500 and the skipper does not peak at opposition cards. And of course we believe them both.

In the semi MCC lined up versus the Pakistanis from (Padova???). MCC lost the toss again and fielded. Despite a fine stumping by Lovell off Gale and a couple of quick wickets from Palfrey (who found himself on a hat-trick) the horse had already bolted and they knocked up 96 in their 8 overs.

MCC lost the groom Sear early but Gale and Lovell had knocked off over half of the runs after 4 overs and MCC looked in with a sniff. But they slowed slightly in the searing heat as their opponents started bowling around the wicket yorkers and despite a few lusty blows just missed out.

A pity really as the fun was just starting. This involved a near pitch riot in the other semi as the MCC were in between innnings in theirs. Suffice to say toys were thrown out of both sides prams. All over a disputed no ball call with the result in the balance. In the end Kofi Annan was called in to try for peace and the sides (after about an hour of near fisticuffs and heated gesticulations) had agreed to a bowl out which Mantua won v Kings Milan. What Ricky Ponting would have thought about this spirit of cricket I just dont know.

In the end MCC made a reasonably quick getaway but after thanking the organisatorio legend that is Guido Ronconi agreed to meet up for a nosebag somewhere in Austria. Sear was last man to show as he had to stop for a kip on the autostrada. Görgl I think was the food location. Tasty food. Saling spoilt it though by talking about snarling dragons and the dirty Sanchez. Zipferl.

And so that’s basically it as we returned to our Sunday sacks a tired but bronzed bunch. MCC looks forward to the next instalment… HEET DI RUBBICHE TOURNEO 2006.



MCC MAN DI TOURNEO – Alan – Allesandro

Friendlies 2005


Match Details MCC vs MICC (at Westpark), 16th April 2005

MCC Performers

Parry lbw 11
Albert b 2
Harcourt run out 20
Appavu run out 34
Holmes ct 8
Scott b 22
McGree b 2
Bostock not out 20
Blades ct 5
Lepani ct 0
Finch dnb
TOTAL 40 Overs 143 for 9

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 6 1 22 1
Blades 5 0 26 1
Lepani 4 0 35 0
Harcourt 3 0 34 0
Bostock 1 0 14 0
McGree 2 0 5 0
Parry 1.1 0 11 0

Summary of Match Result

MCC lost eventually by 6 wickets, with the MICC’s passing our score in the 23rd over.

Comments on the Match

Cricket is back for season 2005, with the first game to be played at Westpark against the MICC. We had the honour of batting first, & several players managed to impress despite not having any training to date. Appavu, Bostock, Scott, & the debutante Harcourt all managing to accumulate 20 or more runs, as we ended up making a respectable 9/143 at the end of the 40 overs. It could have easily been more, if it wasn’t for a couple of silly run outs. The bowling was tight early, with both Scott & Blades getting a wicket each. However the match went quickly downhill after that, with the MICC’s making a big & fast 3rd wicket partnership, to end the game several overs early.

MCC Man of The Match

Sembi produced a solid 34, before being run out


Match Details MCC vs MICC (at Westpark), 23rd April 2005

MCC Performers

J. Hamilton lbw 0
Welthagen b 1
Finch ct 1
Appavu ct 66
Harcourt b 0
Sear b 18
Bostock b 13
Scott ct 10
McGree not out 9
Weatherall b 0
Saling ct 3
TOTAL 38 Overs 146 for 10

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 8 1 30 1
Weatherall 2 1 10 1
McGree 8 2 36 1
Sear 5 0 23 0
Finch 4 0 24 2
Bostock 2 0 14 0
Harcourt 0.2 0 5 0

Summary of Match Result

We lost, with MICC passed our score with still 4 wickets in hand

Comments on the Match

We returned a week later to again play the MICC’s, with a chance to take revenge. We batted first, ending up with the respectable total of 146, after an early batting collapse had our score at 4 for not much. Sembi again produced the goods, with a great knock of 66. A highlight at the end of the innings, was the debut of the American Ryan Saling, who scored his first runs for the club, & managed to get into Des’ club stat records in his first game with a final wicket partnership of 14 with McGree. The bowling was solid early, with each bowler contributing to a tight display. When Finch took 2 wickets in an over, it looked like the game would swing our way. However an undefeated 7th wicket partnership of 40-odd got our opponents home, where we missed a couple of late chances to put on more pressure.

MCC Man of The Match

Another fine early batting display by Sembi with 66, bringing up the clubs first half-century of the season


Match Details MCC vs CCB (at Zurichstr), 24th April 2005

MCC Performers

Houlahan ct 51
Nichols b 0
Sobek ct 14
Mitcham ct 19
Gale ct 9
Welthagen ct 0
McGree ct 13
Bostock not out 8
Blades ct 3
Gligorov b 0
Saling ct 0
TOTAL 37 Overs 182 for 10

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Gligorov 8 0 27 2
Blades 8 0 42 1
McGree 8 2 18 1
Gale 6 0 32 4
Bostock 3 0 29 0
Nichols 1 0 20 0
Houlahan 6 1 28 1

Summary of Match Result

Chasing 198, the MCC fell 16 runs short

Comments on the Match

“Scoreboard” became the infamous catch-cry of this game, in a sometimes spiteful clash against the CCB. CCB batted first, accumulating 198 runs on the relatively small ground. There were some solid bowling performances by Glig & Gale – who after taking 3 wickets in the last over finished with 4/32. Houlahan was happy to get his first wicket of the season, thanks to a great diving catch by McGree in the outfield. On the down-side, Kiwi was in the injury wars, dislocating his little finger in a catching effort, & re-injuring his lower back during his bowling spell. The interpretation of the wide rule was also questioned by some players. The run-chase started very well, with Houlahan hitting the attack all over the park in a quick-fire 51. Sobek & Mitcham also contributed in some important middle-order partnerships, before a late-order batting collapse deprived the team of victory, eventually falling just 16 runs short.

MCC Man of The Match

Gale with 4 wickets produced one of his best results with the ball.


Match Details MCC vs Prague (at Hirschanger), 14th May 2005

MCC Performers

Van Dalsum lbw 33
Lovell not out 69
Mitcham run out 0
Appavu ct 19
J. Hamilton lbw 0
McGree ct 0
Blades lbw 5
Scott b 10
Lepani b 8
Gale not out 5
Finch dnb
TOTAL 40 Overs 164 for 8

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 6 1 8 1
Gale 4 2 5 1
Blades 5 0 17 0
Lepani 7 0 20 1
Finch 5.3 0 19 3
McGree 5 0 33 0
Appavu 3 0 8 3

Summary of Match Result

MCC won by 43 runs, dismissing Prague for 121.

Comments on the Match

MCC batted first, & the in-form Lovell was joined with Van Damage in his first game of the year, with the MCC dream combination producing an opening stand over 50, before Wayne departed for a well-made 33. Despite the steady fall of wickets at the other end (incl. Mitcham the victim of a homicidal run out), Lovell maintained his composure throughout, to bat out an innings for the second match in-a-row, finishing with an impressive 69 not out. Some short rain at the drinks break made bowling slippery on the flicx pitch. Despite the tricky conditions, their were many good bowling efforts, with Gale, Blades, Lepani, & Scott all performing with distinction. Prague briefly threatened, when one middle-order batsmen broke loose & smashed several HUGE sixes in short-time. However, as further rain threatened to stop the game, Finch & Sembi joined forces to clean up the Prague tail, with each bowler finishing with 3 wickets – the last wicket of the match falling 5 minutes before the steady rain turned into an absolute classic late-afternoon Munich downpour.

MCC Man of The Match

Lovell again delivers the goods, with his new-found fitness helping him bat thru the innings to finish with 69 not out.


Match Details MCC vs Serendib (at Hirschanger), 21st May 2005

MCC Performers

Giles b 2
Van Dalsum b 91
Nichols b 2
Cotterell b 10
Edwards ct 0
Carr b 11
Appavu st 10
Round b 3
Saling b 0
J. Hamilton not out 7
Dunne b 4
TOTAL 40 Overs 165 for 10

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Dunne 4.3 1 10 2
Nichols 4 0 16 0
Van Dalsum 3 0 14 0
Blades 4 0 11 1
Carr 6 0 39 2
Appavu 5 0 26 2

Summary of Match Result

MCC 165, Serendib 118 all out. MCC wins by 47 runs.

Comments on the Match

The match versus Serendib marked the 2005 Captaining debut of Tony Blades. His leadership with ball in hand along with a fine performance in the field allowed the MCC to get to the showers just in time to avoid a massive hail storm in the English Garden. Wickets were spread evenly on the day between Carr, Appavu, Blades and newcomer Brendan Dunne. Highlighting the bowling alongside Dunner was a spectacular one handed grab by Dave Carr. Hail, or cricket balls, falling from the heavens was the least of the worries when the MCC opened the bat however. Knocking 91 runs in 39 overs, Wayned Van Dalsum set up the home club for their 165 defended. South Afrikan Alister Round made his debut at the strike for the MCC with an entertaining 3 before being bowled out. Van Dalsum’s 91 opened the possibility of reaching a lofty milestone in the upcoming friendly versus MICC, ending the day just 78 runs shy of an impressive 5000 for his career for the Yellow and Black. For those hoping to catch a glimpse of history next week, get your tickets quick as word of this feat will be sure to have them lined up at the box office.

MCC Man of The Match

Mr. Van Dalsum is a clear selection, contributing over half of our score


Match Details MCC vs MICC (at Hirschanger), 28th May 2005

MCC Performers

Van Dalsum not out 103
Lovell run out… 4
Khanna b 4
Mitcham st 12
Sear run out 52
Nichols lbw 4
Sobek b 0
Saling not out 1
Dunne, McGree dnb
Finch, M. Hamilton dnb
TOTAL 40 Overs 201 for 6

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Dunne 8 1 44 1
Sear 8 1 28 1
Nichols 4 0 46 2
McGree 8 0 17 1
Finch 4 0 21 0
Van Dalsum 4 0 35 0
M. Hamilton 1.5 0 8 3

Summary of Match Result

MICC passed us with 3 wickets in hand, & a couple of overs to spare

Comments on the Match

Wayne did not let down the massed ranks of inquisitive Germans, Americans and Canadians as he calmly accumulated the 78 further runs needed to reach 5000 and for good measure went on to reach an unbeaten century. He was ably supported, initially by Mitcham, as they stabilised the innings after a couple of early wickets, and then by a brutal onslaught from Sear. Shortly after reaching a 30 ball 50 Dan ran himself out to beat Wayne to the cold shower. A couple of further wickets in the last few overs meant that Saling stepped up to the plate, and only got to first base, not quite as successful as he was the night before with an inquisitive Canadian. After a ceremony to mark Wayne’s landmark the black and yellows had to go back out to defend 201 in the baking heat. With MICC always up, and mostly ahead of the run rate, it wasn’t until McGree’s and Sear’s second spells that MCC reasserted some control. However, it was too little too late, and with the Fat Lady about to burst into song, up stepped the darkest of dark horses Mark Hamilton, for his first bowl of the outdoor season. He couldn’t quite extract MCC from the shit, but after three quick wickets questions were asked as to why he wasn’t brought on earlier, but Hammo remained quiet…..

MCC Man of The Match

VAN DALSUM. Awesome batting effort, & 5000 club runs


Match Details MCC vs v MICC (at Westpark), Sun June 5th

MCC Performers

Parry b 13
Sobek b 0
Pryke b 2
Weatherall ct 9
Nichols ct 20
Houlahan b 51
Holmes b 35
Gale b 35
Lepani not out 4
Saling not out 0
Dunne dnb
TOTAL 40 Overs 197 for 8

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Dunne 5 0 40 1
Lepani 5.4 0 37 1
Gale 3 0 21 0
Sobek 3 0 39 1
Houlahan 3 0 30 0
Pryke 4 0 23 1

Summary of Match Result

We lost by 6 wickets

Comments on the Match

Matty (skipper for the day) won the toss much to nath’s obvious disappontment and with a few blokes still recovering from the night before, it was a good toss to win. Matt opened the batting with Luke . They had a new left arm fast bowler–bit of swing but a few almost beamers that he got warned for–and he ripped through us a bit. 40-3 off 10. Then he went off and holmes (35), gale (35) and houlsa (51) set about putting on a good score. Nichols also chipped in with 20 and we made 197 which seemed halfway decent. The first ball of our turn in the field went for 6 and set the tone. Needless to say they got the runs in the 24th over for 4 down. Pryke was probably pick of the bowlers and he and houlsa bowled well together. Lepo also bowled 4 out 5 overs of good line and length. but it’s the age old problem: one bad ball per over and your figures look bad. 2 bad balls and your ruined.

MCC Man of The Match

Houlsa makes another 50, his 2nd in 2 matches


Match Details MCC vs v The Arc (Hirschanger), Sat June 11th

MCC Performers

Edwards ct 5
N. Sharma b 10
Albert b 1
Appavu not out 83
Cotterell b 0
Holmes b 13
Bostock lbw 11
Round 0 b
Parry 0 b
Blades not out 2
M. Hamilton, Finch dnb
TOTAL 27.3 Overs 155 for 8

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Finch 8 1 30 4
Blades 6 2 14 2
Parry 8 0 44 0
N. Sharma 8 1 15 0
Appavu 5 1 15 2
M. Hamilton 2 0 19 1
Holmes 1.2 0 16 2

Summary of Match Result

MCC won by 3 wkts

Comments on the Match

The long awaited replay of the MCC v Arc X1 rain cancelled match from 07 May got underway in fine conditions. The Arc Captain Hazza Khanna won the toss and had no hesitation in batting first. The Arc X1 was a curious mix of vagabonds, spare wheels, misfits and the odd good cricketer. A solid and safe start by Lovell and Arc v.c Gligarov was then followed by sheer cricketing madness as Ian Finchy proceeded in taking a hat-trick and then ending up taking 4 wkts in 4 balls. A marvellous effort that! Gligarov kicked and dug in with side kick Mr Araujo, Gligarov eventually falling LBW for a well made 48. The Arc X1 made a competitive score of 154, all out in 40th over of the innings. Blades, Appavu and Holmes all picked up 2 wkts each for MCC. MCC started its innings in disastrous fashion losing early wkts to be stranded at 27 for 4. Partnerships of 53 and 48 between Appavu/Holmes and Appavu/Bostock respectively rested back the initiative MCC’s way. Simon McCarty (the pick of the Arc’s bowlers) came back for a good 2nd spell to send panic in the MCC’s camp, but, Appavu (with 83 not out) alongside with Blades saw MCC home, 8 wkts down in the 28th over. A marvellous game of cricket played in a healthy spirit. Roll on 2006.

MCC Man of The Match

Finchy turned the Arc innings from 49/0 to 49/4 in the space of 4 balls. The first ever double hattrick for the club (there has only been 2 other hattricks in the clubs history…)


Match Details MCC vs Lancing Manor (Hirschanger), Sat July 9

MCC Performers

Lovell b 38
Albert b 7
McGree b 13
N. Sharma ct 0&5*
Khanna ct 8
Sobek lbw 7
Edwards b 9
Dunne b 0
Parry lbw 7
M. Hamilton not out 17
Saling b 10
TOTAL 39.5 Overs 146 for 10

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Dunne 7 1 17 1
Albert & M.Hamilton 3 0 19/15 0
N. Sharma 5 0 21 1
Edwards 3 0 11 1
Parry 7 0 15 3
McGree & Khanna 5 1 16 0
Sobek 2 0 6 0

Summary of Match Result

MCC won by 1 solitary wicket, off the 2nd last ball

Comments on the Match

A special MCC selection met the Lancing lads for what turned out to be a very enjoyable match that was played in a pleasant atmosphere and perfect conditions and that culminated in a rare nail-biting finish. Lancing batted first and after their openers had hung around for a while, wickets began to fall at regular intervals. Dunne impressed the opposition with both his tight line and the impressive dent his right foot left in the pitch. Edwards’ deservedly got his man with a combination of deceptive flight and intense staring at the batsman while following through. Khanna, who had handed the gloves to Saling, failed to hold on to two very tough chances, but proceeded to achieve a spectacular run-out off his own bowling. McGree captained as coolly as ever, bowled the mean sort of spell we’ve all grown so fond of and achieved a fantastic direct hit run-out. Parry, at one point on a hattrick, was the pick of the MCC attack. Sharma chipped in with another wicket and the fairly tight MCC fielding, topped by some very entertaining sprinting duels between Mssrs. Sobek and Edwards, restricted the opposition to a non-too-ungettable total. After generously leaving our lunch to Lancing (fortunately our captain had anticipated a shortage of supplies and bought some food as well) it was our turn to bat. The openers made a reasonable start until Albert was bowled trying to leave one. Lovell, throughout his innings, didn’t look like he was going to get out – until he did. Sharma, after his golden duck, didn’t look like he was going to get in again on the day, but he did (as we were batting 12) and managed to make amends. However, before that happened, we failed to build substantial partnerships and never reached a position in which we could feel confident of winning. Enter Hamilton, our number 10 batsman, with about 40 required. Assisted by Saling, who batted valiantly and reached double figures the first time, and the aforementioned Sharma, Hammo kept his cool and battled his way into the final over of the day. With two balls left and one run required he heaved one over the infield, set off for the other end and the MCC camp went delirious with joy.

MCC Man of The Match

Mark “Hammo” Hamilton & Ryan “I am” Saling both produced personal highest scores in a 25-run 10th wicket partnership, that turned out to be a match-winning effort


Zuoz 2005

Dont Call Me Dorta, Zuoz Tour 2005.

As expected the MCC Tour of Zuoz never fails to impress, impressive failures littered the weekend both on and off the field.
The weekend started well, all players meeting at the agreed time, Sobek without passport and Greg with his ‘fun-size’ new car. The team Tranny was abandoned this year, MCC sealing a tour sponsorship with various Bavarian based companies. The convoy headed south, rally driver weatherall setting the early pace, Sailing prefering to canter down, taking several spitoon & Zipfer stops. Checkin was painless, the Hostel strategically situated in the middle of St Moritz ghetto avoiding possible conflicts with local gold hoarding yodelers. A quick hostel meal pulled the team together, bob enjoying the advertised vegetarian option of plain pasta, washing it down with some fine wind-inducing swiz beer.
So what did the famous party town of St Moritz have to offer the thirsty wolfers ?
A short stroll to the center revealed a ghost town, tumbleweed rolled past, heads started to drop, team morale quickly fading at the prospect of a ‘quiet one’. Then we found Bobbys. The local youth club, average age being close to Sembis run total. Perfect. Kiwi and Sobek soon dug in failing miserably with the Brazilian hooker and her grenade sidekick. Doug turned up, allegedly p1ssed, followd by Dan&Nichols who’d sampled the delights of Pizza a la Frozen (which seemed to induce Nichols’grumpyness/ragweek). For the next 4 hours beer flowed, tactics/bollx talked about and the quiz machine got abusively raped by the BDM. Be Nice. But we couldn’t. So we moved on. Splinter groups formed, half the team headed for unconsciousness, the rest went to bed. Various attempts were made, Sobek with a stumpy dwarf like creature, Ryan, the winner, was so keen to meet his embryos parents, left early. Vandalism followed with kiwi installing a new cable system through St Moritz High Street. Enough.Next day.

1st game saw us pitted against the might of Zuoz school, Georgie Porgie leading a young side against an ageing & faced MCC . What happened in the next hour was sh1t. utter toilet.Doug(10),Gale(24) and Holmes(15) put up some batting resistance but generally it was crap. A pitiful 95 was the total. Not defendable, not even close. A good start by Gale and Dan with the ball eventually drifted into the unavoidable defeat, a comfortable 7 wicket victory by the fudge packers. bitter. A 2 hour gap to regroup, dig into the cheap BBQ and sink a couple of beers – to take the edge off things.

Results in other games handed us a tie against Wintertur. Batting first MCC put in a much better performance, solid starts from Luke and Doug (31 – allegedly his first ever six), followed by brutal hitting by BDanM (44), BDM Gale (47) and wannaBDM Kiwi (42) gave MCC a reasonable 205. A Much better effort, although sembi recorded his first Zuoz-career pair sparking retirement rumours and sympathy from Ryan. Again MCC bowling effort started very well, Dan finding the spot immediately putting us firmly in the driving seat, wintertur needing 9 an over. The thought of winning clearly scared MCC, catches were dropped, balls disappeared into the Swiss alps and despite a good but very unlucky spell by Kiwi, we lost. didn’t win.Came 2nd. Again. So, first day, 2 games, two losses, consistency obviously the key in these tournaments, sembi highlighting this. Sorrows were heavily drowned with pizza, beers and vodka red bulls before rigamortis set in and those remaining retired reluctantly to the comfort of icy lakes and naked swims at 4.28am. Rumours of a sleeping cat amongst the hostel band was soon stamped out as nichols continued his grumpy streak. BDM & Tripod were spotted in the forest night – r@ping.

Morning came and the hypercondriact captain was clearly shaken, complaining this time of angina, palpitations and rigamortis of the left testicle. It wasn’t pretty. The final game of the tournament MCC played Gamesmaster X1 (Old Boys), a strange group of players balanced by their main man, the tripod, last seen in Killians räping small children. Yet again MCC batted first, Greg (34) and Nichols (54) opening, basically going off from ball one. Nichols hitting 14 off the first over on the way to a maiden club 50 in possibly his last tour.? Both openers departed leaving a great platform to build on. John H, Mark H, Sembi and Knut all contributed to the score, just. Knut smashing his 100th run for the club on John H’s 100th game for the club, it was a special moment unfortunately missed by the Chairman Des, who had eastern priorities.legend. USA import Sailing batted sensibly, for once playing himself in and hitting 9 valuable runs including a great line drive which split the defence perfectly for 4 home runs. Sailings innings was tarnished a little by his use of baseballs sacrifice play, Mark being the sacrificial bearded lamb in this case. It was a cruel twist to a nice bloke, selfish gene prevails and Sailing was heard whispering “survival of the fittest” as he continued. Word. Fireworks started when big Dan came in hitting 44 in rapid style (4s for skirts) and continued with Bob and Kiwi (21 – 18 of the last over) giving MCC a 218 total. A great effort.
MCC took the field after any edge was firmly removed with liquid refreshments. The Old Boys were never in it thanks mainly to Sembi and Mark. Sembi taking 5 sticks to add to his 6 runs, Mark taking 2 celebrated sticks and making a great run out with new mate Ryan. The game was ours, a convincing 111 run win by MCC. The dark side of the Old boys was seen towards the end claiming that we werent playing in the spirit of the game by appealing for LBWs. But we moved on…. to the Restaurant for a beer and to watch MIC/CCB/POCC/LUFTHANSA mixed team lose. horribly. That was that. Great weekend despite the potless and notchless nature of it all. bis 2006.

Cricket Summary.

Game 1: Sat 18 June vs Lyceum School

MCC – 95 all out in 21.4 overs (Gale 24, Holmes 15)
Lyceum School – 97/3 off 14.3 overs (Gale: 6 – 0 – 37 – 2, Sear: 3.3 – 0 – 17 – 1)

Lyceum won by 7 wkts

Game 2: Sat 18 June vs Winterthur C.C

MCC – 205/5 off allotted 30 overs (Gale 47, Sear 44, Giles 31, Bostock 42 not out)
Winterthur C.C – 207/2 off 27.2 overs (Sear: 6 – 3 – 30 – 1, Bostock: 6 – 0 – 31 – 1)

Winterthur won by 8 wkts

Game 3: Sun 19 June vs Gamesmaster X1 (Old Boys)

MCC – 218/9 off allotted 30 overs (Nichols 52, Sear 44, Holmes, 34, Bostock 21 not out)
Gamesmaster X1 (Old boys) – 107 all out in 17.3 overs (Appavu: 4.3 – 1 – 21 – 5,
Hamilton, M: 4 – 0 – 36 – 2, Nichols: 6 – 1 – 27 – 1, Sear: 3 – 0 – 21 – 1

MCC won by 111 runs

Played 3, Lost 2, Won 1
Tournament placing: 7th from 8 teams

Capt’s MCC player of the tournament: Dan Sear (consistent with bat and ball in all 3 games)

Captains Profile

Kiwi: Facing an early-mid life crisis at the age of 27, morals and standards take a slide every season. Made a speedy recovery from a sudden bout of “rigor mortis” on Sat night, most probably due to an increased self induced liking for red bull combined with vodka. “Butter fingers” when spreading jam. Found a good cop in Rip Van Sobek, bad cop still prevails. Appears to be able to bowl again, still doesn’t believe he can bat. Out in Game 1 to the “Beijing Express”, aptly named “Pai”. Poor. Following in the steps of Messrs Lovell and Hebel in becoming a (capt) grump in the field. Rumblings brewing. Top dog is always right….woof, woof!

Knut: Without doubt the fittest man in the club after the weekend having sprinting from deep fine leg to deep fine leg every over in 2 games. Trouper. Took over the role as team father in the absence of Des Badley. Still question marks over his choice (brand) of eye protection, jury still out also on hair length. Scored his 100th run for the club in a career spanning more than 20 years. Tour icon, no tour complete without him. Early finish in game 3 denied him entry to the bowling crease.

Rusty Nichols: Seems to have put on weight since the last tour to Zuoz. Resigned to the fact that having turned 30 recently that he is too old to be in a bar. Proud new owner of a certificate from Des, having reached his first 50 for the club. Gave his Capt a lifeline at 3am in the morning when calmly informing him that he in fact doesn’t have “rigor mortis”. Japan bound, seems destined to marry a young Japanese Frau and create a cricketing empire in the far east. Hamburg tour in August will be his last MCC hurray. Wishing him well. Needs a hair cut. Where can I put my glasses? Looks the most relived man ever to take a catch, once in the buckets. Proud wearer, alongside Gale, of his MCC attire on Sat night in a night club.

Sembi: Run drought. Outscored by an American who upto 7 weeks ago had never lifted a cricket bat. Pace or spin? – to be, or not to be.. that is the question. Got the sh*ts with his Capt in Game 2, order restored in Game 3 with 5 sticks. Brutal destroyer of a pizza, why stop at 2? More reliable than an alarm clock.

Moo Gale: Wore the most disgraceful hat in history of bad headgear for all but 16 mins of the entire tour. Waded passed a series of bouncers to proudly show of his cricket whites to all in a swanky St. Moritz club on Sat night. Respect. The famous “moooooooooooo” chant was brought back by popular demand having played an identical set of shots he played 3 years ago on the very same pitch. Forgot to pack his pyjamas. Enjoyed night swimming at 4.28am on Sunday morning. Future. Has a new theory that breaks a 120 year old rule in that one can win cricket matches by actually dropping catches rather than taking them. Dorta revisited…”don’t call me daughter”. Police car around the corner.

Luke: Made it through both nights without falling asleep. Red Bull does in fact do the trick. Failed to impress “Miss UK” on Friday night after numerous attempts, turns out in hindsight Kiwis’ “grenade” was in fact the better option. Joining a worrying list of new club deviants, where 17 as age for a “women” is considered ancient. Tried to cut the Kiwi’s grass on Friday night by hitting on a 22 yr old Brazilian stunner, who gave us a bizarre “spiel” of having a relationship with a 44 yr old guy, who turns out to be her best friends father. Failed to capitalise on the chance to impress the Capt when he opened the innings in Game 2, dragging out a painstaking 5 in 10 overs. Uses his hostel locker to its maximum capabilities.

Dave: Got a rough one in Game 1, triggered by an Italian. FACT. Happier than anyone to see MIC lose the final to Basel. Consistently fails to back up a biggy with a biggy, after indulging wildly on Friday night he failed to make an appearance on Sat night. Still possesses the most rad hair since Gary Glitter.

Doug: 10 interchanges, but finally made it St Moritz. Dark on the Capt for not informing him of our whereabouts on Friday night in time. Smartest shirt worn out on tour since Gary Edwards in L.Jana circa 2002. Solid as a rock in both innings. Never seen on day 2 of the tour.

Dan: Brute of an animal at the batting crease “who let em out of his cage” Hit 6’s at will in Games 2 & 3, no boundary seemed big enough. One could easily miss one of his innings with a blink of an eye. Should he be on the fence or in? – Not happy with his Capt in Game 3. Had a high profile tour on the cricket field, low profile off it. Appears a capable pool player.

Bob: Still prefers the low profile role on tour, back-seat. Takes the prize for still looking the coolest and calmest cricketer on the pitch. “Forgot” his keeping gloves in Game 2. Trivial pursuit master. Jury still out on the beard – only time and women will decide. The deviant can still be brought out in him, just needs some guidance, Mike Smith: are you there?

Hammo, J: Took an eternity, but finally completed a 100 innings for the club. Pushed ahead a few more notches in front of his old rival Desmond Badley with a sprinkling of runs in Game 3. Gave his son a hell of a telling off for not standing his ground when run out in Game 3 – and rightly so! Bigger cricket boots than Joel Garner, used to good effect in the slip, gully or the point region – depending on where he strays to between deliveries. Was knocking them back at the bar like they were going out of fashion on Friday night, no wonder Sat night was pipes and slippers. Planning to slide quietly into retirement, having already retired. Who has any left handed gloves??

Hammo, M: Quicker than Jonty Rhodes in the covers one minute, slower than Robert Key the next. Celebrated like a man possessed when taking his 2nd wkt in Game 3, thin air was in danger of being walloped. Not happy when the Capt gives him an incomplete and/or incorrect batting order, who has a rubber? Probably the most confused batting combination ever in Game 3 with a German and an American at the wkt, little wonder a horrible run out ended their relationship. Was deep down hurt when run out, failed to show the necessary anger. Lucky enough to have some of the most loveliest young things during the weekend help him to “score”, failed to capitalise though.

Ryan: Making great strides and making up for lost time. Hit is first 4 when batting in Game 3. Owes Hammo, M a beer for hanging him dry. Has more technology going on in his car than James Bond.
Never lets a song finish before skipping to the next one. Let a sure thing go on Friday night, where’s your Daddy? Met probably the only friendly girl in St Moritz, timing is the key, take a back seat at the bar. Needs a faster car. Rick: give me a call back! Larry: are you there? Also seems destined for 20 years behind bars for molestation of young beauties (where he will share a cell with Sobek and Kiwi). Still not convinced he is 30, passports please, can you pull over. Did a good job keeping wkt in Game 3, coming on leaps and bounds. Destined to blossom.

Greg: Gives the ball a hell of a twat when he connects. Uses one of the smallest, oldest and thinnest bats seen. Marriage beckons for the young man, should be making the most of his limited “single” days. Proud new owner of BMW, which is blacker than an All Black jumper. Almost got a bowl in Game 3, didn’t, but took it on the chest. Loves taking mountain photos.

Bob Mitchams Player Profile Summary

Hänelt, Knut: Nice man. Maiden century for the MCC. Fielded wie der Weltmeister
all weekend. Viel zu nett für unser Mannschaft. Fakt.

Bostock, Andrew: tragic victim of world’s first recorded case of
phalangic (or was that phallic??) rigor mortis. Whatever it was, may it rest in peace.
Brutal with the bat (understatement of the tournament: ‘I’m seeing them fairly
well today, Bob’) and comeback kid with the ball. Team man who’s not afraid to take a
grenade for the up-and-‘comers’. Redbull induced nerve damage left him with
toast-buttering dilemma. Celebrates his 27th birthday on Wednesday.

Nichols, Alex: Blasted first 50 for the MCC.
Boisterous: almost missed the final day’s play after being arrested for maliciously
waking a swiss police rabbit with a pool ball in its mouth.

Appavu, Sembian: excellent 5-wicket haul off the long run.
Chainsaw. Wakeup call. More pizzas than runs.

Gale, Alex: Tiger. Amusing hat. Enjoys waiting until a batsman’s back is
turned and then throwing the ball at him really hard. Patrols the dark swiss
forrests in the night, ably assisted by….

BDM: outstanding knowlege of pub trivia.
the bat that loves it. almost as much as…

Tripod, Leroy: Handy third leg for umpiring comfort. Lasso. Doesnt need a belt.

Sobek, Luke: Enjoys moderate success tag-teaming 17-year-olds with the captain.
Has trouble securing an audiance with Gale at times of disapointment,
however. Crap at table soccer. Makes up for it in pool.

Weatherall, Dave: Bowled well, should have come away with a stumping
but for village fumblage. Newest fan of rapper 50 Cent,
who he discovered over a can of Newcastle Brown.
Will soon be starting own music career together with DJ Des Baddly under the
name of 2 shillings and fourpence.

Giles, Douglas: Backbone of the MCC batting line up in the first two games.
Big six in game 2. Too classy for hostel. Enjoys watching people go into

Sear, Daniel: Large. Thinks fours are for skirts. Another MCC man who lets
BDM do the talking. Can bowl a bit, too. Quite good at pool. Shadow, takes
hangovers well, likes staying in on Saturday nights pining over spanish woman.

Saling, Ryan: Highest score in an innings for MCC so far.
Put the regular wicketkeeper to shame after donning the gloves for match 3.
As always, came closest to success in the trouser department
(until her old man turned up to take her home for a glass of warm milk and a story).

Holmes, Greg: Boys with new BMW toys. Cranks up the Chemical Brothers as
he drives past old ladies to see if the sonic boom will make them fall over.
Brute of a man with a large bat that he is not afraid to use. For cricket.

Hamilton, John: 100th innings for the club in game three.
Like some sort of wild animal in the gully. The kind that likes jumping
on cricket balls. Rowr. Solid all-Round performance.

Hamilton, Mark: Two wickets and a brilliant runout in the final game.
Promising innings with the bat cut short due to his being the nicest man in the entire world.
Beard makes him look dashing (just one of the reasons he attracts so many foxy female scoring partners).

Mitcham, Ian: Piked early both nights for no return:
couldn’t catch chlamydia in Thailand.
Sorry, echt. Enjoys telling a batsman who it was that threw the ball at him really
hard when his back was turned. Beard succeeds only in making him look like a pervert.
Is a pervert.

We didn’t win.

Combined MIC/CCB team didn’t win either.

Fertig. Aus. Shabash.

Ashes 2005


MCC vs Munich Australians, Ashes, 02 July 2005, English Garden.

Toss: MCC

The day dawned grey, All Blacks had gone 2-0 up in the rugby vs the Lions, rain was present and the whole weather situation looked nasty. A two hour delay, and a match reduced to 30 overs, finally saw the players take the field at 2pm. Winning the toss MCC skipper Kiwi had no hesitation in batting first, despite overhead the conditions. The Aussies struck early via Julios Khan – trapping the veteran Douglas Giles lbw, 6 foot high and 3 foot sliding down leg – but a good fast scoring partnership between Parry and Lovell set the innings on its way, Parry out for quick 30. Lovell and Sear then set about their work, Lovell happy to play second fiddle to Sear – who was seeing the ball like a hot air balloon at the end – and both found scoring boundaries easy. Sear finally departed for a whirlwind 59, while Lovell carried his bat with an excellent 75 not out. MCC ended up with a commanding 191/4 off 30 overs. Houlahan was the most successful Aussie bowler with 2 wkts. The Aussies came out and with a hiss and a roar needing 6.3 an over, Houlahan in particular taking a liking to some of the MCC opening delights. McGree played second fiddle to Houlahan, the pair put on a good 50 partnership before Sear bowled Houzza for a well made 41. McGree was joined at the wkt by Holmes, and both continued to prosper. A series of quick wkts put the Aussies on the back foot, Kann and Lepani made useful runs, but in reality 191 was always out of reach once the Houlahan/McGree partnership was broken. Kiwi’s: Bostock and Parry both picked up cheap scalps at the end along with Nicols. Appavu and Gale also bowled well in the middle stages.

As the sun fell and evening approached, the throngs made there way to the Chinese Fortress, then later to The Arc. Debbie, better half of half Arc owner Glig, as well as Kiwi celebrated their 33rd birthdays in style. The night was a general raucous, tardy and downright memorable affair. The theme was 70’s, everything was donned, from Dirk Digler (Kiwi), Björn Borg (Glig), Nana Mouskouri (Debs), Hawaii Five-0 hemd numbers (McGree) to the Brady Bunch (Houzza and Jane). All good stuff. The night seemed to go on and on and on, most not donning the sun glasses outside till the wee small hours of Sunday morning….”Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down”…..

Man of the party: Nichols, oh he’s so not ready for Hamburg!


MCC 191/4 off 30 overs.

Giles lbw bowled Kann 6
Lovell not out 75
Parry caught Coles bowled Houlahan 30
Appavu caught & bowled Houlahan 7
Sear bowled Gligorov 59
Gale not out 4
Bostock dnb
Nichols dnb
Sobek dnb
Edwards dnb
Finch dnb

Kann 5 – 1 – 25 – 1
Gligorov 6 – 1 – 34 – 1
Blades 5 – 0 – 33 – 0
Houlahan 5 – 0 – 25 – 2
Lepani 4 – 1 – 30 – 0
McGree 5 – 0 – 40 – 0

Munich Australians 129 all out off 27.5 overs

McGree caught Parry bowled Gale 28
Houlahan bowled Sear 41
Holmes bowled Gale 14
Mitcham bowled Appavu 1
Kann caught Finch bowled Parry 15
Lepani caught Sear bowled Nicols 14
Gligorov caught Bostock bowled Parry 0
Pellow bowled Bostock 0
Coles st Edwards bowled Bostock 1
Blades Injured dnb

Gale 6 – 1 – 25 – 2
Finch 3 – 1 – 17 – 0
Sear 6 – 0 – 39 – 1
Appavu 6 – 2 – 12 – 1
Bostock 4 – 0 – 16 – 2
Parry 1 – 1 – 0 – 2
Nicols 1.5 – 0 – 12 – 1

MCC won by 62 runs, and retained the Ashes for 2005

MCC man of the match: Lovell (solid) and Sear (brutal) with the bat.

Munich Australians: Houlahan: batted and bowled with good control.

League 2004

Match Details MCC vs Lufthansa Sat 8 May in English Garden

MCC Performers

Lovell ct 35
Carr lbw 19
Asim ct 3
Sembian b 2
Sear ct 0
Power b 16
Khanna ct 13
Mcgree lbw 3
Blades * 13
Bostock ct 4
Scott * 0
TOTAL 40 Overs 145 for 9

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 8 3 12 2
Blades 8 2 22 2
Mcgree 6 2 9 2
Power 6 4 2 2
Carr 1 0 12 1

Summary of Match Result


Comments on the Match

MCC won the toss and batted with weather worries in the air. It had properly p1ssed down all week so it was a major surprise to be playing at all. Luckily MCC borrowed a Luftwaffe helicopter to dry the sodden outfield which was handy. The Lufthansa opposition must have had a delayed flight as the match kicked off a trifle late due to their unfortunate collective tardiness. Anyway despite these early trials and tribulations MCC got off to a bright start with stalwart left hander Dave Carr impressing. Lovell and Carr put on 46 off 10 and were cruising. Carr then fell LBW to be quickly followed by the top/middle order. Lovell and Power regrouped slightly before Lovell finally fell reasonably knackered and stiff, top scoring with 35. Harry and Power got their heads down and re-grouped well and with Blades also reaching double figures MCC reached a battling score of 145-9 off their 40 overs. It was a handy score in the damp conditions. In reply Lufthansa were never at the races or the airport. Once Milan fell to a fine catch by Rowdyman Mcgree off 7 jumpers Scott it was Goodnight Irene and the fat tea lady was loosening her vocal chords and making her way to re-fill the tea urn. Lufthansa finally slumping tamely to 61 all out with all MCC bowlers among the wickets. Scott the pick of them with 2-12 off his 8.

MCC Man of The Match

Big Paul Scott – fine performance in opening spell of the year in definite 3 sweater conditions.


Match Details MCC vs May 15 v MICC in English Garden

MCC Performers

Lovell b 17
Carr lbw 0
Houlahan b 25
Asim ct 30
Sembian ro 39
Power * 13
Khanna ct 0
Mcgree b 2
Blades * 6
Bostock dnb
Scott dnb
TOTAL 40 Overs 139 for 7

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 8 0 37 2
Blades 8 1 20 1
Bostock 4 0 17 0
Mcgree 8 2 18 0
Power 7.2 1 24 4
Sembian 4 0 19 1

Summary of Match Result

Mcc lost by 1 wkt.

Comments on the Match

Mcc lost the toss and after the usual point/endless deliberations were asked to bat first by the opposition. Dave Carr was given out early doors LBW to a massive inswinging delivery. Then in the face of miserly bowling Lovell and Hooligan could not get things going in the first twenty despite some sporadic 4/6’s and got really buggered down as MCC crawled along at just over 2 an over. Thankfully with their departure Asim and Sembian upped the tempo, enjoying a fine stand. Asim made 30 before being caught reverse sweeping a la Mike Gatting. Sembian was run out for 39 quick runs. Power added an unbeaten 13 at the death to take MCC up to 139-7 after 40 overs. In reply MICC lost early wickets to Scott and Blades but they looked to be cruising at 90 odd for 3 before their wheels started coming off. Power entered the fray and got amongst them taking 4 wickets. A brilliant running catch by Asim in the deep looked to have turned the match in MCC’s favour as MICC reached the last 2 overs needing 17 to win. Big Rafiq from MICC then proceeded to hit 3 HUGE sixes against the odds and the rest is history. 1 off Sembi and then 2 off Power’s first two balls of the last over. MICC won by 1 wkt in an exciting game with 4 balls to spare. Shabash as they say in Lahore, scheisse wie sagt man in Muenchen.

MCC Man of The Match

Steve Power – almost a match winning performance. Fine display nonetheless.


Match Details MCC vs SERENDIP SSC 19 June in English Garden

MCC Performers

Houlza ct 47
Scrimshaw ro 4
Asim ct 47
Sear b 17
Sembian b 4
Power ro 1
Mcgree b 0
Bostock lbw 6
Mitcham b 8
Blades b 1
Scott * 1
TOTAL 39.1 Overs 167 for 10

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 8 1 14 1
Blades 5 0 18 0
Bostock 8 0 20 3
Mcgree 4 0 21 2
Sembian 3 0 23 1
Power 2 0 13 0

Summary of Match Result

Match abandoned rain. SSC were 119-8 after 30 overs chasing 168 to win. On the 20 over BCV rule = MCC were 87-1 SSC were 50-6 Match will be allegedly replayed at a later date after a BCV ruling. All very bizarre.

Comments on the Match

Good batting from Todd, Asim and Sear took MCC up to 147-3 before the mother of all collapses. In reply SSC slipped to 56-7 and were never a threat. Rain came and conditions became slippy and dangerous, especially to the bowlers on the Flicx pitch. A bizarre/disappointing end to the game ensued summarising all that is good in Munich cricket. Game is to be replayed at a later date. Pointless.

MCC Man of The Match



Match Details MCC vs CCB July 3 in English Garden

MCC Performers

Sear b 0
Scrimshaw ct 9
Asim ct 8
Sembian ct 24
Gale ct 13
Power b 14
Carr ct 10
Parry b 6
Mcgree ct 3
Bostock no 13
Scott no 13
TOTAL 40 Overs 143 for 9

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 8 4 11 2
Bostock 5.2 2 11 1
Power 8 1 21 2
Mcgree 8 0 18 3
Gale 4 0 15 2
Carr 1 0 13 0

Summary of Match Result

Mcc won convincingly by 47 runs.

Comments on the Match

Mcc struggled to convince with the bat with only Sembian reaching the twenties. Good useful runs at the end between pacemen Bostock and Scott took the total up to 143 on the slow pitch. CCB were always behind the clock. Scott and Mcgree the pick of the bowlers. A comfortable league win for MCC.

MCC Man of The Match

Scott useful late runs and figures of 8-4-11-2 4 jumpers. 1 minging.


Match Details MCC vs DCB SF Berlin Stragglers Olympic Stadium

MCC Performers

Parry ct 10
Lovell ct 11
Appavu ct 0
Kev B ct 15
Sear ct 5
Power ct 25
Mcgree ct 25
Khanna lbw 0
Bostock ct 1
Blades no 0
Nichols lbw 0
TOTAL 37.1 Overs 101 for 10

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Bostock 4.3 2 7 0
Power 5 0 40 0
Blades 10 2 41 3
Sear 9.3 1 51 0
Mcgree 9.3 2 34 0
Kev B 3 0 24 1
Sembian 8 1 28 2

Summary of Match Result

MCC lost German championship semi-final in Olympic Stadium Berlin by 128 runs.

Comments on the Match

Planes, Trains and Automobiles. All systems go to Berlin for this German semi-final game. Some flew up early doors. Some got night trains. Some drove up in sports cars. Some took the 10 hour tranny trip from hell. Some attempted to drive to Berlin but broke down on the motorway. Berlin really is a great city and beats the shit out of Munich for pure life and vitality. Has its scummy rat-tat areas sure, but that’s the way it goes. Bradley had some serious apologising to do after delaying the van departure on account of not being able to find his camouflage shorts. The van trip was a smoky, beery and JD affair according to Nichols’ woman. The hostel possee were very impressed by the cleanliness of the GENERATOR. No complaints there. No-one shat the bed. And now for the cricket in this 50 over affair on the quick artificial at the Olympic Stadium in Berlin. After losing the toss Mcc were always you felt up against it. Asked to field during the hottest day of the summer so far this year. Cause wasn’t helped by the skipper going down crocked during his opening spell. He was bowling well too which was a great pity. MCC then dropped a couple of catches, which didn’t help either. In the searing heat MCC stuck to their task manfully. Blades battled well with 3-41 and spin twins Sembian and Mcgree bowled nicely too. After a watermelon frenzy at tea MCC struggled in reply to their huge target. Lovell, Parry and Kev B all reached double figures but couldn’t go on. Power and Mcgree both made 25, quiet man with a wild six too. MCC dismissed for 101 with their German championship hopes in tatters. MESSAGE FROM THE CAPTAIN: ”Guys, just for the record, I’d like to thank all the guys who made themselves available for the trip, we did our best I feel at the end of the day, and were beaten by a better team on the day. A special thanks goes out to Dave (for your van driving and umpiring efforts) Des (scoring) and Harry (for doing the accommodation bookings).”

MCC Man of The Match

Mcgree by a nose.


Match Details MCC vs Pak Orient in Johasenbergl August 15

MCC Performers

VD c&b 41
Lovell ct 31
Mcgree ct 24
Sembian ct 51
Gale ro 1
Power ct 5
Bostock * 12
Mitcham ct 8
Khanna * 2
Pryke dnb
Blades dnb
TOTAL 40 Overs 206 for 7

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Power 5 0 40 0
Bostock 6 0 31 2
Blades 4.1 0 28 0
Pryke 3 0 21 2
Mcgree 6 2 28 0
Sembian 2 0 10 0
VD 4 0 31 1

Summary of Match Result


Comments on the Match

Winning the toss and batting MCC got off to a bright start with Lovell blazing 31 before being caught hooking. VD and Mcgree took the score to 83 at the 20 over break. VD fell C&B for 41 with Mcgree going soon after for 24. Sembian upped the tempo with a quickfire 51 including 5 shabash sixes. MCC finished on a healthy 206-7 off their full allocation. After another watermelon frenzy at tea MCC got off to a good start with Bostock claiming two early wickets, snaffled up quite marvellously by the Power at shortish leg. The game then was abruptly taken away from the away side as Ali rode his luck to cane 86. Despite some late wickets by debutant Stevie Pryke and VD it was never going to be enough as POCC cruised home with plenty of overs to spare and 5 wkts in hand.

MCC Man of The Match

Sembian. Why? Maybe he’ll do teas next week. That’s why.


Match Details MCC vs CUP SEMI V PAK ORIENT home Aug 21

MCC Performers

Parry b 37
Carr b 1
Sembian ct 49
Sear ct 9
Gale b 38
Lovell ct 20
Mcgree b 0
Mitcham b 8
Pryke * 7
Finch b 0
Blades * 1
TOTAL 35 Overs 191 for 9

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Sear 4.1 0 17 3
Blades 7 1 23 1
Mcgree 7 0 23 2
Sembian 7 0 28 1
Pryke 4 1 6 1
Gale 1 1 0 1

Summary of Match Result

MCC reach cup final with resounding 89 run victory.

Comments on the Match

Skipper for the day Blades reports: ”Good morning MCC Members. On Saturday the MCC advanced to the Cup final after a courageous performance against POCC. In a rain affected match reduced to 35 overs MCC scored 191/9 after winning the toss and batting first at home in the English Garden. Some superb batting by Sembian,Matt,Gale and Lovell helped us to this total. I witnessed some truly amazing sixes during this innings. Gales six over cover,Lovos crowd killer over cover and Bob Mitchums hook over square leg to name but a few. They were all out the very next ball afer hitting these sixes. Funny that. We then bowled the POCC all out for 102 after new opener Dan Seared through the top order with 2 quick wickets.(Sorry Dan,I couldnt resist!) Another real tight ass spell from Quiet man Mcgree and Sembian quashed any hope of the visitors winning on the twenty over rule (editors note: if it still exists?). Pryke,Blades and Gale then mopped up the bunnies to catapult us into the final. Some great catches too from Pryke, Dan and especially Blades on the fence, grabbing one low just off the deck diving forward. Marvellous stuff. Good stuff too from Carr to run out dangerman Waqar. A big thanx to all the players for a great effort, especially given the fact that they had stuffed us in the league just a few days prior to this rematch. Usual appreciation goes out to Hammo and the Richter for scoring. Good work. Final to be played sometime in September before it starts snowing.”

MCC Man of The Match

Sembian. Blitztering display of hitting to lift run-rate early doors.


Match Details MCC vs Munich South Africans, 4th Sept

MCC Performers

Parry ct 6
Mitchem lbw 10
Houlahan ct 30
Welthagen st 4
Appavu ct 70
Gale ct 4
Bostock b 43
Blades ct 2
Sharma, N b 21
Sharma, P ** 3
Hamilton, M run out 1
TOTAL 40 Overs 208 for 10

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Sharma, N 4 0 20 2
Blades 6 3 4 1
Hamilton 4 0 21 0
Houlahan 4 1 4 1
Gale 4 1 8 2
Bostock 2 1 2 2
Parry 3.3 0 20 1

Summary of Match Result

MCC won by a massive 115 runs, having made 208 all out in 40 overs. Munich South Africans replied making a paltry 93 all out (batting 12 men) in 32.3 overs.

Comments on the Match

Winning the toss in fantastic batting conditions MCC lost early wkts (despite a whirlwind knock of 30 from Houzzzza) to be 88/5 in the 22nd over. Sembi and Kiwi then put on 76 for the 6th wkt in 10 overs to give the lower order a good finishing platform. Sembian out in the 32nd over for a well made 70. Nav Snake Sharma (in his first match of the season) played some crunching lofted off drives on his way to 21 at the end. The SA’s innings started in the worst possible fashion losing 2 early wkts without a run on the board! Not much more to mention apart from that all the bowlers ended up with attractive figures with Sharma.N, Gale and Kiwi picking up 2 sticks each, Blades, Parry and Houzzzza picking up 1 a piece. All in all a good day out, the match played in great spirit, and a fine evening in the Beer Garden afterwards…

MCC Man of The Match

Sembi for his 70 and the Sharma Bros for outstanding Teas!…


Match Details MCC vs SSC , September 11, English Garden

MCC Performers

Parry ct 5
McGree ct 0
Appavu b 26
Lovell st 73
Carr not out 44
Lepani b 0
Bostock not out 2
Mitchem dnb
Blades dnb
Pryke dnb
Finch dnb
TOTAL 40 Overs 182 for 5

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Bostock 6 2 13 3
Blades 5 0 13 0
McGree 5 1 25 2
Pryke 4 0 17 2
Lepani 2.5 0 2 2
Finch 2 0 11 0

Summary of Match Result

MCC won by 99 runs having made 182/5 in 40 overs. SSC restricted to 83 all out 24.5 overs. *This match was re-played due to the “rain abandoned” league match from 19.06*

Comments on the Match

Kiwi won the toss (again..) and decided to bat in overcast conditions. The decision seemed to have backfired with both openers gone with 13 on the board. Lovell and Sembi steadied the ship putting on 65 in quick time, Sembi out for 26. What followed can only be described as a partnership of massive, epic, season swinging proportions. Lovell and Carr put on exactly 100 for the 4th wkt (Des a record?) Both players (clearly short of a recent gallop..) batted superbly to set up – what turned out to be – a substantial winning total. 182 seemed a big score to overhaul, and the SSC innings was very much one of 3 parts – Kiwi creamed off the top with 3 early strikes, McGree and Pryke ate their way through the middle with 2 sticks each, and (fringe) Lepani mopped up the bottom with 2 also. The catching was safe, sometimes even sublime, with Lovell and Blades taking a blinder each. SSC rolled for 83, no contest, over in 24.5 overs. Was a certain wrong written perhaps?..I’ll let you be the judge of that!

MCC Man of The Match

Lovell/Carr, match winning, 4th wkt record breaking (?) stand.


Match Details MCC vs Lufthansa (away), BCV Cup Final, 18.09

MCC Performers

Power lbw 11
Houlahan b 21
Appavu lbw 3
Lovell fired 2
Gale b 23
Carr ct 0
Bostock run out 0
Mitchem st 0
Blades ct 2
Pyrke ct 1
Scott not out 1
TOTAL 34.3 Overs 87 for 10

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 1 0 16 0
Bostock 4 1 16 0
Appavu 4 1 22 0
Pyrke 1 0 13 0
Houlahan 1.5 0 22 1
Power 1 0 2 0

Summary of Match Result

MCC batting first made 87 all out in 34.3 overs, Lufthansa replying with 91/1 off 12.5 overs, winning the 2004 BCV Knockout cup by 9 wkts.

Comments on the Match

Winning the toss and batting first seemed a step in the right direction for the MCC, the sun was out and overhead conditions were near perfect, except for the condition of the ground itself which had been left all season to bake and be overtaken by bush and other exotic wildlife. The ground not match fit, but it continued nonetheless. Power (playing in his last match for the mighty MCC) and Houzza batted sensibly and ran well taking quick singles. 45 was put on for the first wkt and a sizable total was building, however – hold the phone – then came a collapse of just horrible, ridiculous proportions, MCC all out for a sorry state total of 87! Moo Gale batted with good concentration for 23 (despite deciding it was a good time to show how much he disliked his skipper and put him soundly to good pasture!). As is mostly the case when playing out at besooker (Luft) Park, the innings was not short of incidents – curious umpiring decisions (asked Lovo), polite exchanges of conversation with opposition players and a funny interpretation of the laws of cricket from the Lufthansa Captain who decided that he would enforce the rule where you can rotate players on and off the field at his own free will, not totally dissimilar to interchange in rugby!..The Lufthansa innings was so short that if one had chosen to nod off for a quick kip one could have quite easily missed the whole thing, the only highlight from a MCC point of view was not allowing Luft the satisfaction of winning by 10 wkts, Paul Scott taking a good sharp catch off Houzza to dismiss the Luft Capt. So, what a bugger huh!…Bring on 2005 – less playing pointless matches vs teams who don’t appreciate the finer aspects of this great game we play, less matches on sub-standard playing conditions, more of the old fashioned tour to old hunting grounds of Hamburg and L.Jana, making the Ashes a best of 3 series, and the introduction of fresher, keener, run making pub winter signed recruits!..Prost, Roger over under under over and out!

MCC Man of The Match

Hammo, great effort cutting short his trip in Hedi-berg to come and score and keep a watchful eye on those (opposition) who can’t!..


Lodi 2004

MCC Village Pictures in association with Chutney-Ferret Light and Sound presents

A DarkHorse and Deviant Production

The Italian Job 3

Golden Duck Cricket Festival – Lodi, Italy – the 29th and 30th of May 2004.

“They say MCC going’s to do another job in Italy…”

The out of control juggernaut that is Munich Cricket Club rolls on, pillaging silverware across the continent and leaving only destruction, empty bottles and the occasional sweetie wrapper in its wake…to be continued

The Games. The Job. The Italian Job 3 to be precise. X Rated entertainment. Edge of the seat stuff.

2003 tour soundtrack available on Jailbait Records, including such Tranny-van classics as: Dr Jimmy, Criticize, If I Could Turn Back Time, We Are The Champions, I’ve Got A Loverly Bunch Of Coconuts, That’s Amore, Kiss on my list, The Winner takes it all and many many more…

Rollup, Rollup, Rollup Munich cricket club lovers, groupies, members, wives, girlfriends, mistresses, freaks, deviants, dark horses and cricket junkies. It’s GO GO GO BAMBINO this summer once again to the famous 8th annual Lodi Cricket Tournament.

The 8 a side festival will take place in the lavish and luxurious Lodi surroundings on 29-30 May with two rounds of three teams and finals.

Pre-tournament pleasantries will see the festival’s official reception in a magnificent, absolutely marvellous establishment right in the heart of downtown Lodi.

Tourists and cricket fanatics alike will be flocking from all corners of ‘old and new’ Europe to witness the mother of all festivals with big star-name teams flying in from all over our vast continent including:

Scandinavian Wanderers (S)

Haarlem Wolves (NL)

Idle (I)

Cossonay (CH)

All games will take place on the Radish Cricket Ground in coloured polo shirts, making it easier to identify differing teams to people less familiar to the game of cricket.

Radish C.G.
COSSONAY 103/5 lost to SWCC London 104/2 by 5 wickets
Yeti Sinh 40*, Ganna 40* – Jenssen 2/5, Brooks 3/5 Taylor 29*, Brooks 43*
COSSONAY 76/6 lost to MILAN 79/2 by 5 wickets
Ganna 31 – Horner 2/3 Sampat 40*, Shanta 19*
MILAN 125/2 beat MUNICH 81/4 by 44 runs
Sampat 43*, Shanta 43* Scrimshaw 30*
MUNICH 81/4 lost to ICC Lodi 82 by 7 wickets
Power 20 Kirthy 43*, Riccaboni 28*
ICC Lodi 104/2 lost to SWCC London 105/1 by 6 wickets
Kirthy 40*, Riccaboni 17, Naseer 37 Demestra 43*, Brooks 45*
ICC Lodi 90/3 beat COSSONAY 62/6 by 28 runs
Leydi 25, Riccaboni 23* Hutton 40* – Kirthy 3/13, Naseer 2/3
MUNICH 108/3 beat COSSONAY 94/6 by 14 runs
Parry 21, Scrimshaw 40*, Power 22 – Wailes 2/12 Yeti Sinh 25, Hutton 41* – Bradley 2/5
MUNICH 68/6 lost to SWCC London 72/1 by 6 wickets
Power 21, Bostock 26 – Phipps 2/6, Smith 2/10 Johnson 25, Taylor 42*
MILAN 99/5 lost to SWCC London 101/1 by 7 wickets
Kumar 24, Shanta 40* Taylor 22*, Demestra 35, Brooks 30*
MILAN 44/2 lost to ICC Lodi 46/2 by 5 wickets
Horner 17, Kirchin 15* Galperti 22*, Riccaboni 14
1 Scandinavian Wanderers CC London
2 IDLE CC Lodi
Man of the Series: Brookes (SWCC)
Best Bowler: Bradley (Munich CC)
Best Batsman: Shanta (Milan)

Zuoz 2004

Zuoz 04 – The final straw tour

Lovell – impeccable behaviour throughout. Great putting on practise green despite back troubles. Car locksmith. Great kip in back of Volvo with leather upholstery. Provider of 3 crates to ease the journey – yet to be reimbursed. Tour quote – ‘its just tough shit’.

Blades – reformed character, concentrating on his cricket. Although he did let off some steam with impromptu streak after presentation. Last tour, the final dig. It’s official.

Bradley – so bored with scoring and general pointless nature of postage stamp cricket he took the opportunity to open Bar Des – ‘where everybody knows your name!’ A cracking business venture profits guaranteed. So happy with bar takings after driving all the way down in Dutch oven conditions he volunteered to do the same all the way back. Got involved in a wine session with the Winterthur scorer and showed him ‘who’s the daddy!’

Houlahan – packed a mean punch in the van? Minimal. Pathetic really. Great 50 first game.Quiet as a mouse during the whole tour though. Took advantage of stray hotel foyer during early hours. Let himself down somewhat with unfortunate ‘playing in shorts incident’. Got to raise game and rid himself of blue wifebeater singlet too. European cricket sages have nominated him for MCC’S ZUOZ MAN OF TOUR 2004.

Gale – shadow, cardboard cut out. No dingle. Burnt like a beetroot by mountain sun early doors. Awesome 50 first game. Passenger in Power’s car which didn’t break down. Broke Sembi’s bat- bully. Pointless.

Bostock – tried to take advantage of jailbait weakness. Sloppy. No dingle. Most impressed by winners acceptance speech. Another deviant in ridiculous wifebeater singlet.

Power – drove there in sports car, spotted in dorta 3am looking sober and trying to up the ante. Took victims with him as usual, notably young Gale, Mcgree and Hooligan. Stays pace well, doesn’t look for excuses. Huge foldaway chair next day helps his cause though.

Parry – Jagermeister. Pointless – out of depth trying to play big boys games. Needs to raise game or simply adjust to married life and tax issues. Last overseas outing for the unironed crumpled ‘cricket’ shirt?

Sembian – still very keen but didn’t go to bed in his whites this year allegedly. Drop in standards. Should have scored a hundred in final game. Reduced to tears by Gale’s bat breakage.

Mitcham – Bob. Responsible behaviour. Obviously couldn’t ‘pull off’ Lovell’s Hawaiian shirt look though. Wardrobe lacking in potential – very tacky heroin washed-up look. The days where he was likened to the singer from ‘The Verve’ are long gong. Should have scored a hundred in the final game.

Mcgree – very sleepy on Sunday morning for some reason – Jagermeister? Poor catching. Sitters – droppage of. Quiet man.

Khanna – Popular guest at Bar Des. Regular there by end of tour. Members only. Added the nurdle and the firepoke to his batting repertoire on day 2. Excessive snoring banished Kiwi to the dorm corridor early doors.

Holmes (&Andrea) – coupled up. Came down on train (short trip) together for honeymoon weekend break. Came round the mountains. Have camera will travel and fall over over Zuoz fence. The hitman Holmes successfully passed Blades’ character test. Congratulations.

Knut – where the fuck were you? Ve av vayz ov makin u come on tour next time?!!

Ps. Cricket not really worth a mention in my considered opinion. I do recall some good batting by Mssrs Hooligan, Gale, Bob Mitcham and Sembi but other than that nothing springs to mind aside from two incredible run outs by to-be later English thug. Weather reasonable most of the time. Golf course coming along slowly. Driving range shut to allow postage stamp cricket. We came third. The winners escape me as by that stage the second crate beckoned and even more importantly England v France in EURO 2004. But that’s another story. The End. Amen. Shabash.