Friendly Fire match Report, with collateral damage

Friendly fire(works?) at the Hirsch wraps up the 2017 season

MCC Gold 243-7 (35.0 overs) (J. Altmann 2-fa, P. Bowes 2-fa) defeated MCC Black 164-7 (26ish overs) (N. Konchada 2-fa, K. Mahmoud 2-fa)

Man of the match: Dave Carr for making a delicious 20 pesto, olive oil, fresh basil and tomato-topped delicacies – in addition to a swashbuckling 20* runs carved all around the wagon-wheel.

With an initial verbal confirmation on Monday, Desmond ‘Tromboner’ Bradley was triumphant; the Munich Cricket Club, recently railroaded by a Hirsch-fucking Food Truck festival, were finally granted permission to return and play cricket on their hallowed, now-repaired-after-30,000€-and-three-months turf.


But make no mistake – this wasn’t the canny old Chairman’s first rodeo. As we have all learned all-too-well, verbal confirmation means sweet-FA in Germany, so the foresight to request written confirmation of said permission wasn’t such a bad idea at all. In fact, it really came in handy when a slightly soused Helmut rolled out to the middle as we were rolling out the pitch to tell us all to fuck off home. (Incidentally, the pitch was rolled out west of the track due to damage on the regular side.)

Anyway, MCC Black Captain-of-the-day Phillip ‘Phil’ Bowes managed to avert a hostage situation, proudly presenting the short email on his handy to the thirsty Hausmeister who grumbled off back to his farm, thus avoiding being bound and gagged for the duration of our match.

Jonathan ‘JD’ Deverill, having misplaced his coloured MCC top several months earlier, read the awkward situation like a Chinese newspaper and thought he’d try his luck asking the steaming caretaker for his shirt back. Helmut softened somewhat and surprisingly obliged, throwing in a free pair of Pak Orient trousers presumably as a gesture of goodwill given his error.

As with every game without our Chairman present, all things administrative went to shit as we were lacking any form of scorebook or writing device. James ‘Jabez’ Kantor saved the day with a quick trip down to German Cricket TV headquarters, indulging in that well-known pastime of pinching office supplies from work. If only he’d remembered to grab a pen too.

Stolen stationery @
(Picture: Wendi-Meg Breward)

Starting at 12:43, MCC Black hit the field with a whack, similar to that made by the knife-wielding maniac lurking around Rosenheimer Platz, but much more like the one from 2017’s top run scorer Mahmoud ‘Macca’ Khan, who belted one straight back to Jonty ‘Jont’ Altmann for an excellent c&b in the third over.

Some very tight bowling continued with maiden overs from Altmann, ’Disco’ Dave Carr and Deverill hindering the run rate. This was however at time to time threatened by the odd loose ball in addition to a hilarious 4 overthrows gifted by the frustrated white-haired warrior. Sixty-three years young and still bounding about like a teenager, the MCC look forward to welcoming him into the 26 club very shortly, joining the likes of wrestler Hulk Hogan, former cricketer Imran Khan and Tim Allen of Home Improvement, er, ‘fame’.

An initial wild over from ‘Akka’ Akmal transitioned into a quite a tight display but he was unfortunately unable to snag a wicket. Overs passed, with the crispest bat-stroke being played directly into one batsman’s ankle, where a pornographic soundtrack of painful screams ensued.

Obayed ‘Mushy’ Mushtaq made it to the crease, with his measured and elegant strokeplay pleasing all spectators, almost as deeply as the chicken curry he brought for the tea break back in summer. Eventually, Queenslander and new father Ben ‘Ben’ James managed to dazzle the Masterchef with his lofty spinners, bowling him for 12.

Nirmal ‘Nermal’ Konchada also delighted onlookers with at least one sizable six, before being trapped in front by Bowes, proving yet again that you don’t have to bowl fast to get wickets. Doubling-down, he bowled talented hitter Sami ‘Sammi’ Jamula the very next ball to emphasise that very point; sadly the hat-trick delivery to ring-in Harmand was uneventful. (Usman ‘Chicken Man’ Sandhu’s interpretation of Bowes’ theory was unsuccessful on this particular day, despite a tight first over.)

With Jabez holding up one end nicely, Harmand hit a few quick-fire fours before allowing Jonty the opportunity to rearrange the structural integrity of his woodwork. Imtiaz ‘Imti’ Ahmed also made it to the boundary on more than one occasion, with he and the cuddly Kiwi closing out the innings to begin a well-anticipated tea break.

Once again deliciousness triumphed, with players spoilt for choice. Whether an entire vat of Haribo gummies, more leftover KFC original recipe pieces or mouth-watering home-made sausage rolls from top-tier WAG Sylvia, it is safe to say that no-one went hungry. And just when the ice cold beer was beginning to wash the last crumbs down our dry throats, Disco Dave provided the ultimate encore, freshly preparing his bruschetta with the delicacy of a surgeon to the gastronomical standards of a smiling south Calabrian Nonna.

Full of food and fire, Khan ‘Al’ Ali and Rohd ‘Smiley’ Ahmed opened the batting, the latter departing for just two in the fourth over, caught off the bowling of borrowed MLCCer ‘Butterfingers’ Avi, who assured us he had been learning how to catch hard cricket balls over the week. As Desmond was again taking a well-earned rest from scoring duties, it is impossible to quantify the partnerships in terms of, well, runs, due to a lack of entries in the ‘Fall of Wickets’ row. C’est la vie.

Anyway, national superstar Dennis ‘The Menace’ Ritigahapola was bowled for a mere single from the bowling of Sami, while Ali was amusingly caught after batting away a rank full toss from Avi in his third over, though square-leg umpire Altmann resoundingly declared it a no-ball. Deverill and his bespectacled buddy confidently prodded around Imtiaz’ quick bowling before one of the fizzing slowies from Konchada bowled the venerable team elder.

Usman came and went relatively quickly, despite ‘surviving’ a dangerously close LBW decision by national umpire Ritigahapola, (later deemed to have had the finest of edges.) He was shortly thereafter bowled for a finger-lickin’ good KFC duck, bringing Bowes to the centre.

A colourful partnership of (*unknown) runs continued with a good handful of sixes peppering the fresh grass before a mix-up left both Phil and Ali at the striker’s end. With mild confusion as to who was actually dismissed, the captain, with utmost nobility, relieved his partner of any further stress or responsibility in the match – heartiest congratulations to Ali and his 43 well-earned runs, bouncing back very well from his unfortunate duck in 2016 playing for MCC Black.

A little slow to get off the mark, Carr accompanied the dangerous Bowes before the captain was bowled by Nirmal for ten. Akmal didn’t last long, being bowled for a duck off the crafty part-time slow bowling of the curry King Mushtaq who unfortunately, according to the scorecard, bowled just the one over despite having plenty more left in the tank.

Altmann added some spice to the mix during his brief tenure, fours and sixes comprising the majority of his 21, while his GCTV colleague took a few overs to loosen the stiffness in his arm, bowling an impressive 5 or 6 wides. All the while, Carr continued on his merry way driving, cutting and carving before his fellow countryman was bowled by Macca.

Two balls later, yet another of his countrymen was bowled by the same gentleman and it was time to pull up the stumps for 2017; the heavens in concurrence as the last tones of daylight bid us adieu.

Kantor spots the moon, Konchada, Ali, Bowes and Bradley share a laugh as Ben and Mahmoud look on.
(Picture: Wendi-Meg Breward)

Dennis, Ahmed, Mahmoud and James counting stars as Altmann wets his whistle and Carr presents a leg.
(Picture: Wendi-Meg Breward)
A cheerful MCC wrapping up another season, digging into another batch of Dave Carr bruschetta
(Picture: Wendi-Meg Breward

Wendi-Meg Breward


Tom Mitchell and his Linfield Club return to Munich

Tom Mitchell`s team, Linfield, in Surrey, came to Munich for their first ever international tour. Tom played for us while studying in Munich from 2013 to 2015, scored 405 runs making him a page 2 batsman and also took 10 catches. Obviously we were keen to host his team but the damage to the playing field at our home ground put the Kybosh on a joyful return to the Hirschanger. Fortunately the Munich Lions were on tour to Prague so they kindly rented us their ground in Situli Strasse. The pillock with the keys to the ground turned up without them so both teams had to vault over the fence while`st the pillock returned home to fetch them. It was then discovered that neither the expected nails to fix the wicket nor any stumps or bails were to be found. Barrett and Bowes, alliterating in “B”, headed to the Hischanger, Bowes standing guard while Barrett vaulted yet another fence to fetch the necessary from our kit box.

Finally the pitch was set up, the pillock returned to open the gate and learn that captain for the match Bowes had lost the toss and MCC were fielding. The weather at the start, around 1pm was OK but Barrett insisted the forecast was for rain from the start so it was decided to play 2 runs for any wide or no-ball and the illegal ball not to be repeated. MCC opened the bowling with Butt and Bowes, everyone wishing the captain for the day would be tonked thereby removing the miscarriage of justice at the top of the bowling table. Butt got the first wicket, stumped by Barrett, with the score on 23. The second fell, bowled Deverill, with the score on 99 and the third a superb direct hit run out with the score on 151. Bowes, who had indeed been severely tonked, brought himself back on and got a hilarious stumping with the score on 167. An unbroken partnership of 46 for the fifth wicket took Linfield to 213 for 4 after their 20 overs.

With Cassandra still predicting rain it was decided to finish the second innings before taking any teas so Bhat and Mustaq opened for MCC. After 26 were on the board, Bhat left to a caught and bowled to make way for Konchada. Twenty eight runs later Mustaq was caught by Henry Mitchell, Tom`s younger brother who is just as elegant as Tom when batting. Amazingly, Barrett, the batsman who epitomises “Batting sans Frontiers” was next up and was part of a 3rd wicket partnership of 38, Barrett being bowled going for a big one. Along came Butt needing 38 to make the 500 club, striking the first ball distainfully for a boundary four but was then out caught. Next man was Jolliffe, he with the car that takes five passengers, determined to make his first runs for the club. Ten runs later he was bowled but had scored one run to his great satisfaction. Khan Mahmud, the top run scorer of the season so far, came in next to be run out for 10 and make way for Bowes. An unbeaten partnership of 46 for the seventh wicket took MCC to 186 after 20 overs.

Bhat, 13, caught

Mushtaq, 21, caught

Konchada, 87*

+Barrett, 11, bowled, 2 stumpings

Butt, 4, caught, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 48 runs, 1 wkt

Jolliffe, 1, bowled

Khan Mahmud, 10, run out, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 41 runs, 0 wkts

Bowes, 18*, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 45 runs, 1 wkt

Karthik, DNB, 2 overs, 0 mdns, 24 runs, 2 wkts

Deverill, DNB, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 25 runs, 1 wkt

Altmann, DNB, 2 overs, 0 mdns, 21 rubns, 0 wkts

MCC, 186 – 6 in 20 overs, lost to Linfield, 213 – 4 in 20 overs by 27 runs

MCC MOM: Konchada

A second match was begun almost immediately with no real tea break, leaving the batting side to feed themselves when able. Teas were once again not provided by Qureshi, he was rumoured to be in Prague, touring with the Lions, but all the players had been assigned a task to bring something. Deverill reneged on his promise to bring along some Pimms, probably because he was too busy dreaming of his forthcoming visit to the Rolling Stones concert where he was able to obtain a couple of incredibly cheap tickets.

Linfield batted first once again, this time Barrett was captain and Bowes keeping. The bowling was opened by Deverill, on the verge of entering the 25 wicket club and Khan Mahmud. The first wicket fell in the first over, a run out with the score on 2 and Deverill bowled the next with the score on 6. In the sixth over Karthik relaced Khan and had an eventful over – 6 wides, wicket, single, 6 wides, wicket, 2 wides. Leaving them 53 for 4 down. Barrett replaced Deverill going for 8 runs in his first over and 25, including four sixes, in his second. Konchada replaced Khan and got a wicket in his second over and Butt came on after Barrett had bowled out. He got a wicket in each of his first two overs and the score was 156 for 7 in the 16th over. Bhat had one high scoring over leaving Deverill and Khan Mahmud to finish off the last three wickets.

A fast turn-around saw Altmann and Konchada open the batting, Altmann, in his first game since the Erlangen league match, scoring nine before being caught with the score on 17. Konchada and Butt put on 30 for the next wicket, Konchada scoring 19 to round off a good day`s batting. Bowes and Butt put on 51 until Bowes had his stumps realigned to make way for Deverill. Butt departed LBW for 34 and Deverill heard the death rattle very soon and left having scored one run to make way for Mushtaq. Two runs later Mushtaq went for one and was out caught allowing Bhat to enter the fray and the duck race. Khan Mahmud was run out for the second time in the same day with the score on 117 for eight. Colling, dressed most improperly, more like a mountaineer than a cricketer, scored 8 including an almighty six and Barrett allowed Jolliffe to be run out for 0 thereby ruining his day. The rains began just as the run out occurred so there must be an omen there.

Linfield had the usual fines procedure so beloved by touring teams and had MCC a similar scheme in place we would be a rich club because of all the dropped catches, some of them more difficult to drop than catch.

Altmann, 9, caught

Konchada, 19, LBW, 2 overs, 0 mdns, 20 runs, 1 wkt

Butt, 34, LBW, 3 overs, 0 mdns, 28 rus, 2 wkts

+Bowes, 22, bowled

Deverill, 1, bowled, 3.5 overs, 0 mdns, 26 runs, 3 wkts

Mushtaq, 1, caught, 1 catch

Bhat, 0, ???, 1 over, 0 mdns, 19 runs, o wkts

Khan Mahmud, 5, run out, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 14 runs, 1 wkt

*Barrett, 7*, 4overs, 0 mdns, 44 runs, 0 wkts

Colling, 8, bowled (batted in place of Karthik)

Jolliffe, 0, run out

Karthik, 2overs, 0 mdns, 24 runs, 2 wkts

MCC, 140 – 10 in 20 overs, lost to Linfield, 192 – 10 in 19.5 overs by 52 runs


MCC in the T20 finals for the first time since 2009

After beating the league champions Erlangen in the quarter finals and Wurzburg, the runners-up in the Regionalliga Nord in the semis, MCC faced the might of Pak Orient, the runners up of the Bundesliga Süd-Ost in the final of the BCV T20 at the Pak Orient ground starting at 13:15. This was the first opportunity to win silver, apart from indoor tournaments, since 2009, the last time we were T20 champions. The teams were on time as well as the single umpire which was disappointing for a final, particularly as two umpires were expressly requested.

MCC squad, T20 final 2017

Captain Ayub lost the toss and MCC were asked to field, opening the attack with Brooks and Kahn Maiwand. They bowled tightly, Brooks in particular assuming Jonty Altmann`s mantle of bowling superbly but not getting wickets. The first wicket fell on 27, caught Ayub, bowled Maiwand with the score on 31 but Pak Orient put on 74 for the second wicket, broken by an LBW from Butt on his very first ball. He also got a wicket on his second ball, stumped Otmankhil, but not given by the Pak Orient square leg umpire. It looked out from the scorer`s table on the boundary and also, apparently, from the bowler`s end umpire, for he overruled the decision and gave it out. This somewhat incensed the opposition and there was a pitch invasion by their captain Ali, Omar Khan and a spectator, protesting that the stumping cannot be given by the main umpire. This is correct under the laws and the umpire, Milan, should have appointed a second umpire so serves him right for any aggro he received. Thus, at the end of the 13th over they were 108 for 3 down. Ayub got a caught and bowled in the 14th over and in the next over, Butt`s second, Otmankhil got another stumping leaving them on 125 for 5 down after 15. In his third over, the 17th Butt got a fourth and also a direct-hit run out making them 144 for 7 down. In the eighteenth Khan Waqas got his wicket so Pak Orient were 149 for 8 down when the heavens opened. The innings should by rights have finished then due to the long rain break but the umpire allowed the innings to progress to 20 overs and they were all out for 175 after exactly 20 overs.

There were no teas, Qureshi having refused to bring them for the sixth time and, after a 30 minute break, MCC opened the batting with Butt and KHan Mahmud. Butt tonked the first ball beautifully for four but sliced the second to be very well caught at deep gulley so it was something of a set-back. Qureshi, he who didn`t bring any teas, replaced him and played a most unusual innings. He faced 13 balls and swung lustily at each one, connecting with four of them only and, not surprisingly, was bowled leaving MCC on 19 for 2 after 3.2 overs. Captain Ayub came and went with the score on 23 to make way for Bhamare. Abijith took a sighter then hit a massive six off the second ball faced but, with the score on 34, he left to look for some more teas. Khan Waqas took his place for three runs only to make way for Konchada with the score on 37 after 7.5 overs. Throughout all this Khan Mahmud had been accumulating runs and was now in the highest MCC partnership of the day with Konchada. This was sadly ended when Konchada was well run-out with the score on 64. Abdul Maroofkhel was next in, hitting a splendid four before falling LBW in the 13th over with the score on 72. Otmankhil, once again went looking for gold and hoping to top the duck race table came in and gave way immediately to Khan Maiwand. Mahmud finally gave up hope and skied one to be caught for an outstanding 42 and allowed Brooks to face a few balls. He was run out for 1 leaving Maiwand just short of his maiden half-century.

It was quite a heavy defeat but the team had done marvellously well to reach the final and deserve a lot of credit . Most of us retired to the local hostelry afterwards to sort out the problem with North Korea as one does after a cricket match

Butt, 4, caught, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 24 runs, 4 wkts

Khan Mahmud, 42, caught, 1 over, 0 mdns, 14 runs, 0 wkts

Qureshi, 4, bowled

Ayub, 1, bowled, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 45 runs, 2 wkts, 3 catches

Bhamare, 10, bowled,

Khan Waqas, 1, bowled, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 38 runs, 1 wkt

Konchada, 13, run out,

Maroofkhel, 6, LBW,

Otmankhil, 0, caught, 2 stumpings

Khan Maiwand, 3*, 3 overs, 0 mdns, 26 runs, 1 wkt

Brooks, 1, run out, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 26 runs, 0 wkts.

MCC, 92 – 10 in 16 overs, lost to Pak orient, 175 – 10 in 20 overs, by 83 runs.

MCC MOM: Butt T.K.



MCC on tour in Lancashire challenging Stretford

The MCC Bumblebees had travelled to Manchester using various means of transport – car, plane and even by train from Munich. On arriving at the Hilton hotel where we all stayed except treasurer Giles who was slumming it in another venue we were greeted by a distinctly under the weather Khanna who had arrived early and had done a week`s touring in a single afternoon. He retired to his luxury bunk bed and four of us departed for the City Arms pub, a well-known watering hole with good ales on sale to await the arrival of the others. They came in dribs and drabs – the wait was about four pints worth as I recall – and we then went to Chinatown for a superb dinner.

At around 10: 30 the next morning we walked to Piccadilly gardens to get the tram to Stretford which is one stop after Old Trafford and, being the first day of the test match, it was quite crowded.

The tram to Old Trafford was crowded
Photo: Andrew Wembridge
A passenger on the tram Shows Collings how Robin Hood used to bat
Photo: Andrew Wembridge

On arrival at Stretford tour-captain Barrett informed us it was a 15 minute walk to the ground but, as was proven on many occasions over the weekend, he needs a new timepiece.

The oldest canal in Manchester with the oldest boat
Photo: Andrew Wembridge
The Robin Hood Pub on the walk to Nottingham
Photo: Desmond Bradley
Barrett`s 5 mile route march
Photo: Andrew Wembridge


Iron rations needed on the march
Photo: Andrew Wenbridge

Some two or three miles later, having passed a pub called “Robin Hood” making us think we were walking to Nottingham and picking blackberries as emergency rations on the way, we staggered into the picturesque Stretford ground.

The Pennine foothills as a Background
Photo: Desmond Bradley
A welcome sight after the route march, the Stretford pavillion
Photo: Andrew Wembridge
Sure to take spin after 2 o`clock
Photo: Andrew Wembridge
Mudussir is not so sure
Photo: Andrew Wembridge

Captain Barrett persuaded the opposition to allow us to field 12, swapping out one fielder as we wished and also agreed there would be no toss and MCC would bat first.

The MCC Team list
Photo: Andrew Wembridge
Admiring the Stretford memorabilia
Photo: Andrew Wembridge

Ayub and Wembridge opened with Ayub almost joining the duck race after 1.2 overs making way for Giles. A partnership of 23 ensued, Giles departing for 4 from 24 balls and was replaced by Jonas de Beer. A seventy run partnership ended when Wembridge was out LBW having scored 48 from 84 balls. Khanna and de Beer added 10 before JD left having scored 23 to make way for Arunachalam- who has taken over the mantle of Knut Haenelt and only plays if a trip of at least 200Kms is necessary, who, with Khanna, had an exciting 31 run partnership. Arunachalam made way for Fudge who had a golden one to be replaced by Gattinger who went for six with one trademark boundary four. Colling and Barrett tried to build picket fences, but not for long – Barrett claims he was out caught on the boundary – and Carr desperately defended his batting average by being 0 not out from three balls faced leaving MCC all out for 160

The sun had been warm and friendly throughout the innings but the scorer was all alone in a shady scoring box and feeling rather like a brass monkey while learning how to operate an electronic score board. After totalling the figures for the MCC innings he went to the club room for tea only to find the rotten *’#++s had eaten everything but a few chips and some ice cream which was just what the doctor ordered.

MCC opened the bowling with Colling and Ayub, the first wicket falling in the third over, bowled Colling with the score on 2. A 56 run partnership ensued before Barrett bowled their second opener for 30. He also bowled their Lancashire player for a duck after he had been subjected to some awful sledging from Carr and Khanna. He plays for the Lancashire under elevens by the way so how our two Ozzies escaped heavy fines afterwards is incomprehensible.

Stretford batting
Photo: Andrew Wembridge

The Stretford wickets fell regularly afterwards and they were 99 for seven after 29.1 overs. There was then a 53 run partnership only ended when the blackberry-collecting Wembridge got a very dodgy LBW decision with the score on 152. With the scores level and nine wickets down Stretford staggered across the winning line with a leg bye on the last ball of the 40th over.

Stretford provided a curry and rice dinner for us and there were also some scrumptious burgers for sale at three pounds each.

Curry & rice and hamburger dinner
Photo: Andrew Wembridge
Some patriotic Brexiters celebrating
Photo: Andrew Wembridge

Many beers were consumed and there was live music outside on the veranda. Captain Barrett also treated us to some karaoke fines.

Finchy had driven to the ground so took some back to the Hilton with him, JD called a large Über van for some others leaving the tour captain with lord and lady Wembridge to make the 30 mile hike back to the tram station to round off a perfect touring day.

Ayub, 1, caught, 5 mdns, 1 mdn, 7 runs, 0 wkts

Wembridge, 48, LBW, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 10 runs, 1 wkt

Giles, 4, LBW

Deverill, 35, caught, 4 overs, 1 mdn, 6 runs, 1 wkt

+Khanna, 23, caught,

Arunachalam, 17, caught, 2 overs, 0 mdns, 19 runs, 0 wkts, 1 catch

Fudge, 0, caught, 3 overs, 0 mdns, 8 runs, 2 wkts

Gattinger, 6, caught, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 21 runs, 0 wkts

Colling, 6, caught, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 13 runs, 1 wkt, 1 catch

*Barrett, caught 2, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 10 runs, 2 wkts

Carr, 0*, 5 overs, 0 mdns, 37 runs, 0 wkts.

MCC, 160 – 10 in 39.2 overs, lost to Stretford, 161 – 9 in 40 overs by 1 wicket.

MCC MOM: Wembridge.

MCC I bid farewell to Division I Bundesliga with a hard fought victory in Nuremberg

The final division I match of the season and MCC travelled to Nuremberg to salvage what was left of a fairly ordinary season. Everyone met at the Hischanger apart from Barrett who didn`t want to travel with the rabble and we attempted to store the away kit in the kit box ready for the game next weekend against Serendib. This rather upset a security guard who seemed to take a particular objection to me and refused categorically to let us into the ground because it was “unsafe”. Somehow Toke wheedled his way around him and was allowed to deposit the away kit in its proper place.

Everyone arrived in good time at the Nuremberg ground to be greeted by Barrett on a sweltering hot day but we were able to sit under the shade of an oak tree and watch captain Ayub lose the toss and be asked to field.

A happy MCCI before the final Bundesliga match
Photo: Desmond Bradley

Imtiaz and Maiwand Khan opened the attack and bowled very well with no wides for the first 14 balls and their first wicket falling on the 12th ball, caught Konchada, bowled Maiwand. In his third over Imtiaz got a wicket, a superb reflex catch in the gully by Bhat leaving them 12 for two. A 44 run partnership for the third was ended by Maroofkhel with a good keeper`s catch by Otmankhil followed by a lengthy celebration run. The next wicket on 63 was a caught and bowled by Ayub, a great one for the stats and two runs later Toke got an LBW. There were no more significant partnerships and interestingly, all the wickets were either caught (8) or LBW (2). Nuremberg were all out for 109 in the 29th over.

Some healthy teas were provided by someone but it was difficult to break in to the Asian ring and get anything as evidenced in the photograph.

The Asian members hogging the Teas
Photo: Desmond Bradley

With 110 runs needed from 40 overs it looked to be a fairly easy task but then MCC knows how to make a mountain from a molehill. Khan Mahmud and Qureshi opened the batting for MCC, the first over was a maiden, the second yielded a wide and a leg bye. The third brought Qureshi bowled for 0, Bhat LBW for 0 and so, after three overs, MCC were 1 for 2 down. Khan Mahmud took a single in the next to double our score but was bowled by the first ball in the next over. Ayub took a single to allow Konchada to join the duck race leaving us 4 for 4 down after 5 overs. Barrett and Ayub played very carefully putting on 22 for the fifth before Barrett left for another attempt to break into the food ring having scored 2 runs off 16 balls and, amazingly, was caught on the boundary. He was replaced by Toke who batted through to the 25th over, Ayub scoring the winning runs from a mighty six. So MCC celebrated their last game in division I with a victory showing what could have been, if only…..

Just as the kit was packed away it began to rain and an unbelievably violent Gewitter hampered the return trip to the Hirschanger. The same security guard would not let us in to get some kit for the tour to Manchester and, as Toke was in a restaurant somewhere in Nuremberg, we had no-one to grovel our way in.

Khan Mahmud, 1, bowled,

Qureshi, 0, bowled, 3 overs, 0 mdns, 4 runs, 0 wkts

Bhat, 0, LBW, 1 catch

Konchada, 0, caught, 1 catch

*Ayub, 64*, 6 overs, 1 mdn, 24 runs, 2 wkts, 2 catches

Barrett, 2, caught, 1.2 overs, 0 mdns, 2 runs, 2 wkts, 1 catch

Toke, 23*, 6 overs, 0 mdns, 25 runs, 3 wkts

+Otmankhil, DNB, 1 catch

Maroofkhel, DNB, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 29 runs, 1 wkt, 1 catch

Ahmad Imtiaz, DNB, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 5 runs, 1 wkt, 1 catch

Khan Maiwand, DNB, 4 overs, 1 mdn, 13 runs, 1 wkt,

MCC I, 113 – 5 in 24.4 overs, best Nuremberg, 109 – 10 in 28,2 overs by 5 wickets

MCC MOM: Ayub Mudussir


MCC I put to the sword by Serendib on 22nd July at the Hirschanger

The first of two games to be won handsomely if we were to remain in Division I  saw MCC hosting Serendib on a perfect cricketing day at the Hirschanger. Captain Ayub used Maria Theresa to win the toss, choosing to field first and gave a rousing pre-match speech in the changing room.


Waqas opens from the Surfers end
© Philip Crebbin
Maiwand from the Chinese Tower end
© Philip Crebbin

MCC opening bowlers Waqas and Maiwand both bowled good first overs, albeit with a couple of wides each, but thereafter were a little wayward In subsequent overs and were replaced after three and four overs respectively.

Deverill from his unfavoured Surfers end
© Philip Crebbin

Deverill took over from Waqas at the surfers end but for one over only as he prefers the Chinese Tower end.

Toke had one over while a worried Roshan Looks on
© Philip Crebbin

Toke had one over to allow Deverill to move to his favoured end and his performance improved noticeably.

Mudussir with a Jimmy Anderson style
© Philip Crebbin

The ground was hard and dry and good shots brought rewards to the extent that after seven overs Serendib were 80 for one down, Maiwand getting their opener, Peter Adit, caught well by Barrett.

Barrett, a whiter shade of pale in shades
© Philip Crebbin

Deverill got the second with the score on 88, the dangerous Rohan caught after smashing it to Toke. Two overs later Deverill got his second. Anthony falling to a very good catch by Maroofkhel with the score on 102 and 13.1 overs gone.

Milan dropped on 19 and goes on to make 119
© Philip Crebbin

The next wicket partnership between Milan and Dushanta was 85 although Milan should have been out caught when he was on 19 – he went on to make 119, before being caught by Maroofkhel off Butt`s bowling and the score on 276 in the 35th over.

Mahmud tries his luck
© Philip Crebbin
Collins concentrates, a great pose
© Philip Crebbin
Butt finally got Milan, caught Maroofkhel
© Philip Crebbin

The tonking continued and Serendib finished on 325 all out after 39.5 overs.

Captain Ayub had provided some splendid teas but the team were in a rather shocked mood with a target of just over eight runs per over to meet.

Opener Colling and Mahmud set about the job with good intention, Colling leaving after just two overs, caught in the slips by Milan.

Mahmud opens for MCC
© Philip Crebbin

In came Butt clearly meaning to stamp his mark on proceedings scoring 34 from 17 balls in a 43 run partnership with Mahmud but was then out, caught by Milan.

Butt leathers one to leg
© Philip Crebbin
and lofts another for a boundary
© Philip Crebbin


Maroofkhel narrowly avoided a golden one being out LBW to the second ball faced.

A fine catch in the deep
© Philip Crebbin

Ayub who replaced him also went quickly scoring four only and MCC were now 64 for4 down after 9 overs.

Mudussir caught by the opposing captain, Peter Adit
© Philip Crebbin

Toke hung around for a while allowing Mahmud to make hay, but then went for 12 with the score on 95.

Mahmud makes hay
© Philip Crebbin

A good 43 run partnership between Mahmud and Deverill took MCC to 138 before JD was castled.


Deverill misses a straight one
© Philip Crebbin

Konchada went for 2 runs only, Barrett has his customary 5 not out and Maiwand made one before being bowled comprehensively.

Barrett sweeps to leg
© Philip Crebbin

Waqas did not bat having damaged his ankle when fielding so MCC closed their innings   on 160 for 9 after 30.5 overs.

The rather tasty beers delivered by Deverill were consumed before moving on the Fräulein Grüneis Kiosk and afterwards for a curry.

Colling, 4, caught, 3 overs, 0 mdns, 30 runs, 0 wkts

Khan Mahmud, 75, caught, 8 overs, 0 mdns, 47 runs, 3 wkts

+1Butt TK, 34, caught, 3 overs, 0 mdns, 24 runs, 1 wkt, 1 catch

Maroofkhel, 0, LBW, 2 catches

+Ayub, 4, caught, 8 overs, 1 mdn, 59 runs, 1 wkt

Toke, 12,caught, 1 over, 0 mdns, 10 runs, 0 wkts, 1 catch

Deverill, 11, bowled, 6 overs, 0 mdns, 48 runs, 2 wkts

Konchada, 2,bowled

+2 Barrett, 5*, 2 overs, 0 mdns, 24 runs, 0 wkts, 1 catch

Khan Maiwand, 1, bowled, 5.5 overs, 1 mdn, 47 runs 2wkts

Khan Waqas, DNB, 3 overs, 0 mdns, 19 runs, 0 wkts

MCC, 160 – 9 in 30.6 overs, lost to Serendib, 325 – 10 in 39.5 overs by 165 runs

MCC MOM: Mahmud Khan

Wendi-Meg Breward’s , letter from Pretoria

MCC Gold 151ish-8 (35 overs) (A.Wembridge 45*, X. Wides 29, O. Mushtaq 19, J. Deverill 2-4) defeated MCC Black 117-9 (25.2 overs) (Y. Wides 30, M. Khan 20, Obaidullah 18, W. Khan 3-12, P. Toke 3-14)

Man of the match: Obaid Mushtaq for his 19 runs and 22 servings of simply divine Curry.

This long-overdue match report from 15-07-17 has been simplified into a dot-point summary for your Sunday reading convenience, mainly due to the author’s laziness

  • Serendib Sports Club e.V withdrew interest in the match at the last minute, however Craig Barrett remarkably managed to organise 20 (mostly) MCC participants
  • Clever decision made for both teams (and umpires) to wear identical black clothing
  • Deverill arrived resplendently in a shiny new Napa Valley Cricket Club blazer, resembling some sort of candy-cane thief.
  • Wembridge fresh off the plane from an African safari (of sorts), accused of challenging Deverill for the title of ‘silliest arrival costume bearer’
  • Teams picked, Praf and Craig skippering their respective ships
Presented without comment or taste.
Photo by Shahzad Qureshi
  • Praf, wielding some plausible excuse about traffic accidents, arrived to find Farid and Waqas padding up to open the batting
  • Mahmoud caught a Waqas fly-ball at mid-on in Abdul’s first over, cementing the left-arm strike bowler’s prized number 11 position for at least the duration of this mortal life
  • Fortunately this duck will not count toward the official duck race leaderboard
  • Shazhad made an elegant start but guided a Colling short ball into the loving hand of an unrecorded mid-wicket fieldsman
  • Farid fell for 9, caught off the bowling of Obaidullah, ending a hitherto well-disciplined opening performance which certainly caught the eyes of the selectors
  • Maiwand seemed to have turned up by now and was cheerfully enjoying watching the match before realising he had been selected for the fielding side
  • Usman and Obaid Mushtaq built a handy partnership of 39 before Master Chef Mushtaq was caught for a well-earned 19, giving Deverill his first wicket.
  • Nirmal allowed JD to nab his second wicket, unfortunately being bowled for 2
  • Usman continued his attack with new partner Wembridge
  • A partnership of somewhere between 13 and 15 developed, if we apply some sort of logical deduction techniques from the unorthodox scorecard
  • Warhol would be proud
    Photo: Andrew Wembridge
  • After a ‘timeless’ drinks (etc) break, Usman was clean bowled by Seyar for 17, bringing captain Praf to the crease.
  • Really quite difficult at this point to distinguish the difference between ‘1s’ and ‘.s’ in the scorecard, or 4s, 7s and all other Arabic numerals for that matter.
  • The proud skipper and his antipodean lackey poked around for an indeterminable period of time for an indeterminable quantity of runs
  • Barrett snaffled a catch behind the stumps to give Imtiaz a taste of glory, Toke finally being dismissed for a total of 1Y
  • Remarkable to report that not a single runout dismissal occurred despite the wonderfully diverse run-calling methods practiced by the MCC Gold team
  • Not a single LBW given, naturally due to some sort of interplanetary magnetic force dragging every ball contacting the pads well down the leg side.
  • Ring in Rohail was cheated of facing his fair share of deliveries on more than one occasion, given his foul-tempered partner’s accidental farming of the strike.
  • Rohail bowled for four by “Sam”, where a rare Fall of Wicket entry suggests the score was 141 at the time.
  • A true dolly was dropped at backward square leg off a Maiwand Khan short ball, allowing Wembridge and new batsman Akmal to close out the innings for (allegedly) 151
  • Mahmoud Khan extremely unlucky to finish wicketless, bowling a superb 4 overs 0 for 8, and wides accounting for 29 (or 19,2%) of the total MCC Gold score
  • An undisputable man-of-the-match winning effort by Obaid – Photo: Shazhad Quereshi)
  • MCC Gold and Black were treated to a simply magnificent tea courtesy of the wonderful culinary skills of Obaid Mushtaq
  • Chicken curry and lentils were wolfed down with delicious brown roti, chased with chocolate biscuits.
  • A description of ‘triumphant’ would be severely understating this mouth-watering intermisso from our established semmel-based standard
  • Rumour has it that the wife of Mushtaq is in no way partial to curry, and this was the Master Chef’s big chance to show off his skills
  • Non sequitur, the Gin en Toxic indoor CC, Pretoria
    Photo: Andrew Wembridge
  • MCC Black made a healthy opening partnership of 31 between Hashimi and the in-form Mahmoud Khan
  • This was facilitated by several mangled caught and bowled opportunities by Sanger Khan.
  • Shazhad knocked over Hashimi’s castle for nine, bringing Barrett to the crease
  • Waqas snagged the prized wicket of Mahmoud with a simple, regulation catch at gully
  • Deverill fell for a fortunately unofficial duck to become Waqas’ second victim, caught behind by Farid
  • Abdul managed to belt around a few boundaries before one finally stuck in Sangar Khan’s mitts at mid-on after a woeful delivery by Wembridge.
  • Barrett was bowled by Akmal for nine and MCC Black were beginning to look a little shaky at 5 for 84
  • Promising resistance from Colling (10) and Obaidullah (18) was soon to be interrupted after captain Toke’s decision to warm up his shoulder
  • The captain effortlessly blasted through the pair (and follower Maiwand), taking his three wickets for a mere 14 runs, virtually sealing the victory for his team
  • Waqas delivered the death blow to the other S. Khan, earning himself a well-deserved ‘three-fa’
  • Well done to all for hauling our arses off the couch and spending our Saturday outdoors sharpening those cricket skills.

Wendi-Meg Breward

MCC wins at Situlistrasse

Sunday, 9th July, a bright, sunny day with the promise of thundershowers later, saw MCC return to Situlistrasse for a 35 over friendly against the Breakaways (Munich Lions). Captain Ayub used the wrong coin and duly lost the toss meaning MCC were asked to field first. The two team groups were some distance apart meaning the two scorers were not in contact, in fact for the Breakaways innings I was all alone, no-one standing blocking my view, no-one asking how many runs did so-and-so have etc, so it was really enjoyable. There were of course drawbacks, not knowing the players they were entered as “white pads”,”white hat”, “Johny Cash”, “Bavarian Shirt”, “helmet” and so on. Also, the final innings scores were different, their scorer, unsurprisingly, had a total of five runs more than I had noted.

Situlistrasse is a very pleasant small ground, short grass outfield and a decent size allowing good shots to get runs and also good fielding to get run-outs. MCC opening bowlers, Brooks and Bhatia, both bowled well, baker Bhatia in particular and after nine overs the score was 45 for 2, one wicket a bowled by Bhatia, the other a direct hit run-out from Maroofkhel, the first of three in which he figured. Although the openers bowled well they did set a kind of benchmark for wide balls, bowling six in the first eight overs. They were replaced by Ayub and Bhat who easily beat the benchmark with Bhat determined to maintain his lead in the wide-boys table. Neither of them took early wickets and after the 13th over the score was 89 for two down. Konchada replaced Bhat and in the 17th over there was another Maroofkhel/Ayub run out (of Johny Cash) and in the next over there was a third run out. Ayub got one bowled in the 20th over making them 134 for five down. In the 24th over, veteran Carr came on, went for four from his first ball then took the first of his three wickets, bowling their Player “no hat”.  Maroofkhel and Ibrahimkhel also bowled, Ahmad getting their tenth wicket and the score on 198 – or 203, whichever you believe.

Teas were provided by Seyar Hashimi, making a welcome return to MCC cricket and he brought pre-baked buns to the total amazement of Bhatia.

Giles and Otmankhil opened the batting for MCC, Farid aiming not to get another golden one and the Audi badge. He went for five with the score on 10 to make way for Bhat who departed with the score on 20. In came the prodigal son Hashimi who batted extremely well putting on 69 for the fourth wicket after Giles had left with the score on 29 in the ninth over. Baker Bhatia who replaced him put on 79 for the fifth wicket with captain Ayub so MCC were 177 for five down in the 30th over and needing 27 more to win. Konchada and Ayub strolled to victory in the 33rd over, helped by a 5-no-ball and, as soon as the field was cleared, the first heavy raindrops fell.

Giles, 3, bowled,

+Otmankhil, 5, caught,

Bhat, 3, caught

Hashimi, 27, bowled

*Ayub, 83*, 7 overs, 0 mdns, 43 runs, 1 wkts, 1 catch

Bhatia, 39, bowled, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 22 runs, 0 wkts

Konchada, 13*, 5 overs, 0 mdns, 35 runs, 0 wkts

Maroofkhel, DNB, 2 overs, 0 mdns, 13 runs, 0 wkts

Ihbrahamkhel, DNB, 1 over, 0 mdns, 3 runs, 1 wkt

Carr, DNB, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 19 runs, 3 wkts

Brooks, DNB, 7 overs, 0 mdns, 30 runs, 0 wkts

MCC, 204 – 5 in 33.3 overs, beat Breakaways, 203 – 10 in 32 overs by 5 wickets

MCC MOM: Mudassir Ayub


MC II come second at the Hirschanger, Bhatia strives to get the baker´s prize

MCCII at the Hirschanger for a Regionalliga fixture against the Munich Lions whom we had beaten by over 100 runs in a friendly a couple of week ago so the team was fairly confident of getting the points. However, Captain Barrett foolishly made the toss using something other than the Maria Theresa silver dollar which was a bad omen to start with – and he lost so MCC were asked to field first.

MCC opened with Bhamare and Khan Maihwand and in the first two overs the wide boys race hotted up, with nine bowled and the run rate at seven per over. The run rate stayed between six and seven for the whole innings, the ground was dry and hard so good shots went for boundaries and the fielding and catching, to put it extremely diplomatically, was pretty awful. Their first wicket – bowled by Bhatia – fell in the tenth over with the score on 61, the second in the 18th over with the score on 112. Toke and Konchada looked for a while as if they were going to get on top of the batsmen but it didn`t last and the wide count mounted – 40 wides in 40 overs – and the Breakaways finished on 257 for 8 down off 40 overs, 57 of the total being extras.

We had all been looking forward to some scrumptious teas provided for the first time by Bhatia. He made an extra effort to make sure everything was fresh and brought along buns which had first to be baked for 12 minutes in an oven. Pillock is the least of the names that spring to mind. However, Khan Mahmud saved the day by going shopping and brought back some Semmeln which, I`m sure, were better quality than would have been the case with Bhatia`s oven fresh.

After teas, MCC opened with Bhat and Konchada – the two highest scorers from last week. Captain Barrett had cleverly put himself way down the order to prevent Bhat giving him another diamond one. Bhat was back eating Semmeln in the 4th over with the score on 16, and Konchada in the 8th with the score on 29. Mustaq joined the duck race, LBW, for which the umpire later apologised – rubbing salt into the wound some would say. Bhamare went for 10 in the 10th but then a splendid partnership of 56 between Bowes and Toke ended at the drinks break. Kerr and Barrett ground out double figure scores but the best hit to watch was Maroofkhel, the very last ball of the innings, hitting their best and fastest bowler for an almighty six. The bowler was not amused.

Bhat, 4, caught,

Konchada, 13, bowled, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 25 runs, 1 wkt, 1 catch

Bhamare, 10, caught, 8 overs, 0 mdns, 48 runs, 1 wkt, 1 catch

Mushtaq, 0, LBW, 1 catch

Toke, 37, caught, 5 0vers, 0 mdns, 35 runs, 2 wkts

Bowes, 24, caught

+Kerr, 14, caught, 1 catch

*Barrett, 16*, 8 overs, 0 mdns, 34 runs, 0 wkts

Bhatia, 9, caught, 1 catch, 24 unbaked Semmeln

Maroofkhel, 11*, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 29 runs, 1 wkt

Khan Maihwand, DNB, 6 0vers, 0 mdns, 37 runs, 2 wkts

MCC, 191 – 8 in 40 over, lost to Munich Lions, 257 – 8 in 40 overs by 66 runs

MCC MOM: Praful Toke

Magnificent 164* from Wembridge in Division I match, but Erlangen take the day.

A must win match against Erlangen to retain any hopes of remaining in Division I next season as Serendib had actually stuffed Nuremberg the previous day and had three wins to our one under their belt. A win in Erlangen would mean we could still top them with two more matches after this weekend, one of them at home against Serendib.

Three cars left the Hirschanger at 0830, two heading directly for Erlangen, one in the opposite direction to collect Butt who was resting after a raucous night and also preparing himself to play in the Norwegian premier league on 1st/2nd July.

Captain Ayub used Maria Theresa to win the toss and chose to bat, opening with Altmann and Wembridge, who had regained his form the previous day with a 71 not out against FFOP. Altmann returned to the hutch in the second over with the score on 3 to be replaced by the future Norwegian premier leaguer. In the tenth over, Butt left to bone up on his Norwegian and captain Ayub took his place. There followed a superb partnership of 155 for the third wicket – the third highest ever –  Ayub going in the 40th over for 64 and the total on 177. Khan Mahmud went in the same over with a golden one and made way for Deverill. Ninety one runs later Deverill was out caught, allowing Bhamare to join the golden ducks for the day. Qureshi replaced him and was able to score two and Wembridge to carry his bat for a magnificent 164 not out, thereby occupying second place in the elite 150 plus runs-in-an-innings club

The target of 286 in 50 overs for Erlangen was certainly defendable and after teas provided by Qureshi, MCC opened the bowling with Khan Waqas and Deverill. After bowling two overs and going for 15 runs, Waqas was replaced by Khan Mahmud who was also very generous for his first two overs. In fact, apart from Deverill, all the bowlers were pretty wayward and, after 10 overs, Erlangen were 60 for none. MCC managed to take four wickets only and the fifth wicket unbeaten partnership was for 104, the batsmen finishing on 106* and 60* respectively. The fielding had not been good, simple catches being dropped with the score on 58, 90, 126 and 233 and a number of more difficult ones going awry too. To round off a poor day in the field one of their batsmen played on but the bails were not disturbed. The old adage about winning matches certainly rang true.

+2 Altmann, 1, bowled, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 22 runs, 0 wkts, 1 catch

Wembridge, 164*,

+1 Butt, 6, bowled, 3 overs, 0 mdns, 21 runs, 0 wkts

*Ayub, 64, LBW, 4 overs, 0 mdns, 46 runs, 1 wkt, 1 catch

Khan Mahmud, 0, bowled, 8 overs, 0 mdns, 47 runs, 2 wkts

Deverill, 28, bowled, 8 overs, 1 mdn, 32 runs, 0 wkts

Bhamare, 0, caught, 0.3 overs, 0 mdns, 13 runs, 0 wkts

Qureshi, 2* 3 overs, 0 mdns, 32 runs, 0 wks

Kotru, DNB

Khan Waqas, DNB. 10 overs, 0 mdns, 55 runs, 1 wkts

Ahmad Imtiaz, DNB, 3 overs, 0 mdns, 14 runs, 0 wkts

MCC, 284 – 6i in 50 overs, lost to Erlangen, 286 – 4 in 43,3 overs by 6wickets

MCC MOM: Andrew Wembridge