25th Anniversary 2007

The 25th Anniversary Match Report
A one-eyed view from the ex-captains’ perspective

Anniversaries are a bit like funerals, a time for retrospection, a gathering of like-minded souls, memories, the inability to remember, thoughts of what might have been, a general totally biased glorification of past achievements by one and all — for a few magic moments time almost comes to a standstill.

On the other hand, back in 1974 the Rolling Stones wrote:
Time waits for no one, no favours has he
Time waits for no one, and he won’t wait for me
Drink in your summer, gather your corn
The dreams of the night time will vanish by dawn
And time waits for no one, and it won’t wait for me
And time waits for no one, and it won’t wait for me
No no no, not for me….

What that has got to do with this cricket match is beyond me, but somehow it snuck into this match report while I wasn’t watching.

Anyway, back to the plot. Expectations were certainly high — who could possibly forget the last anniversary match some 5 years ago? How time flies — feels like bloody yesterday…
The ex-captains side were not given a chance on paper, with an average age some 20 years higher than the current MCC side. It all came down to the last over, almost in total darkness – A Kiwi from Auckland (Bostock) with not much of a reputation with a bat in his hand, facing up to a tri-athlete from Christchurch (van Dalsum), who is his heyday was terrifyingly fast on a very hard Hirschanger wicket, a while back in one of those drought-ridden starts to a cricket season — this is not to mention all the other remarkable feats he has graced village cricket in Germany with over the years. For innocent bystanders, this might have been a Plunkett Shield showdown between two of the biggest rivals known to the Land of The Long White Cloud. In true FA Cup tradition, on this day the underdog had the upper hand and miraculously summoned all his limited potential and a little that he had only momentarily ever known, to pummel this South Island upstart down the ground seemingly for a six to win the game. But the cricket gods had other ideas, and due to the darkness of the darkness, the umpires had to give the benefit of the doubt to the bowler and signalled only a four. Nonetheless, the current MCC side clutched victory from the jaws of defeat a couple of balls later to win by a whisker.

What we were in for this time round? On paper, the ex-captains side had a much stronger bowling line-up to what they could muster five years ago, where their seam attack was short of numbers. On this occasion, the line-up read like a who’s-who of past MCC fast bowling legends. Tony Jacobs, the living legend per se (unrivalled on 206 wickets for the club), still playing at the ripe old age of 87, or was it 67? He’s the one who’s taken more five-fers than most of you have had hot crumpet either before or even during breakfast. As Des pointed out, one of the humble current players (doubtless a dying breed) went up to Tony in the pub, and asked “Are you THE Tony Jacobs?” (“How about an autograph, Richie, who should I make it out to?” — those were the days). Tony captained MCC back in the 80’s, and was Trevor Hazeldine’s successor, if my memory serves me well.

Trevor was also there, all the way from Sydney. He was one of the original founders of the club from RFE (Radio Free Europe); for those of you too young to have heard of this outfit, it was a bit like the RAF, but without the machine guns! No, if the truth be known, it was a CIA-financed organisation that broadcast to eastern Europe in the local languages in the Iron Curtain days, and was for many the only avenue to objective news broadcasts. But when some Bulgarian secret service fellow turned up at the flat of one the RFE employees, it certainly put the willies up the rest of them (“The bowler’s Holding, the batman’s Willey” — those were the days). Trevor had only a relatively short stay at the club, but has remarkably to this day the best bowling average of those worthy of being included in the all-time bowling statistics list. Trevor had a classic bowling action, that reminded to a point of the infamous Thommo, awesome stuff. He was also a very useful lower order batsman, who played the odd cameo — in the Pommie Ashes side, he would have been batting at No.6 (sic). He had a remarkable knack in commanding his bowling line-up, and was known for some very unorthodox but successful bowling changes. None more so, than a quite unbelievable game against NAMMA, at a ground at a Munich Nato base. MCC had struggled to make 107, which was not really going to be enough. Namma had two batsmen, Hardy and Blake, who were known for their brutal slaying of bowling attacks in the Munich league. Hardy once made about 180 out at the MIC ground — couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch! That’s neither here nor there, but on this Satdee arvo, NAMMA were cruising at 81 for 2 after 17 overs. This is the moment when regular bowlers try to look inconspicuous in the field, as the desperate captain, looks for someone to make an impression. I personally was most grateful not to be put to the sword, and Trevor instead went for Chris Langfelder. A phenomenal leg-side stumping of Blake, from our Aussie banana-bending keeper, where poor Blake barely raised his heel out of the crease, and the rot set in — the rest is history: Chris took for 5 for 3, and NAMMA were all out for 89. One could never forget Trevor sitting in the beer-garden hours later, still shaking his head at what had happened.

Ross Crichton was also in the seam attack, an off-stump to off-stump bowler whose accuracy was second to none. His delivery stride at times was so close to the stumps, that he was in serious danger of damaging the “house jewels” ( or the “wife’s-best-friend” — take your pick). He hadn’t played though since 1993. Mark Lichtenhein, also an active player, was another who served the club admirably over a long stint, with miserly accuracy — he was the club’s first ever European Operations Manager, and to this day no-one really knows what this title meant — he did organise the odd tour, and how could anyone forget how in Basel in terrible heat, he managed to snick an attempted pull into his eyebrow — to say the least, there was more than the usual red stain down his groin on this afternoon.

In the spin department, there was the afore-mentioned Langfelder, whose brilliant use of flight manages to hide a seeming lack of spin — there is to this day some doubt whether Chris actually tries to spin the ball, but with 177 wickets to his name, it must be pretty useful whatever he does. Yours truly bowls the odd leg-spin, but certainly got more turn on the turf or coconut matting wickets we used to play on, than the current FLICK OFF pitch. And last but not least, there is Graham Lees, also a former RFE spy, who came all the way from Bangkok, or was it Hong Kong (“picked up VC in the war, or that was what his mother said” – Pete & Dud). He bowls left-arm orthodox in principle, although the bag of tricks he comes up with in any given spell, bares little in resemblance to Derek Underwood, whose feats he doubtless would love to live up to.

The batting line-up was a different matter. Here the stocks were not quite up to the high standard set 5 years ago. Vince Scanlan (sitting in 11th place with 1248 runs for the club) was doubtless going to be sorely missed. Bill Cooper the swashbuckling batsman, and top wicket-keeper (with 1883 runs 6th in the club’s batting list) would have to be relied on for another cameo — little did we know that he wasn’t going to show, which was an awful pity. Jai Singh could not make up his mind whether he could come, and eventually missed selection — but could have taken Bill’s spot had he turned up. Doug Giles, who for unknown reason was continually called the “5th highest run-maker of all time” in the pub on Fridee night (1941 runs in the last printed stats) — his fans were certainly many that night, especially those with the big thirst and loud mouths; the following day Des also mentioned that Doug with 155 innings prior to this match, was the batsman with the most innings for the club — it’d make you wonder whether he actually takes the pads off. This reminds of the famous Aussie batsman Ian Redpath who was also a very passionate Victorian football follower of his beloved South Melbourne (later Sydney Swans), who even insisted on wearing his Swans sweater on his wedding night — whether Doug would admit to a similar feat on his is hard to know. And for those of who used to frequent the winter St Annahof cricket Stammtisch evenings on a Friday night, could hardly forget some of the marvellous discussions/arguments that Doug used to get involved in, taking the mickey out of conservative political opinions — he invariably turned up in a festive mood — whether they always had birthday celebrations on Friday arvos at work, or he was otherwise engaged is not known (as Trevor Hazeldine would have said: “In don’t know what he’s on, but I’ll have a crate of it”). However, Giles and Carr posted most of their best scores literally decades ago. On paper, it was difficult to determine how soon the tail actually began.

On Friday night in the pub, the current captain Lovell (Lovo to some) claimed there was no point playing unless we changed the sides (what a cheek — as Steve Waugh said to Ganguly in his last Test: “show a bit of respect, pal”). Who does this upstart think he is — does he simply drink too much — hard to say, I was never there when the odd bike or bat went missing at 7am in the morning somewhere in Englischer Garden, or wherever (sending out a search party was never an option as the man himself was never quite sure how he got home, let alone which route he took). Or was he just the old “two-bob watch” or even a standard “turd-puncher”? The members of the ex-captains’ side just sat there in disbelief and hoped that this little so-and-so was going to have to eat his words. For those of you who were unlucky to miss out, there was a very interesting walk from the pub along Maximialanstrasse to the Odeonsplatz U-bahn. Trevor Hazeldine might have been a little shaky on his feet, but when two are walking along at 2am in the morning, one is never quite sure who is bumping into who. Trevor remembered his Munich days, when in journalistic terms, he had the impression that they were really making an impact, compared to some of the more tedious inconsequential work he currently has to suffer. He also mentioned the very special passion that Victorians show for their football, quite different to a Sydney-sider’s following of a Rugby league club. This passion seems to be omnipresent, when the ex-legends of the club come together; it can also be described by the one-and-only Dermie Brereton, an ex-legend Aussie Rules footballer, who wore the number 23, well before some other upstart in another code made this number infamous. He played the game how it should be played, hard as bloody nails, asked for no quarter and gave none — a man playing a man’s game. A few years ago, it was claimed he was the instigator in the so-called “draw a line in the sand” game, when his former club was getting a hounding by one of their arch-rivals. What followed is history: his side got thrashed, but they won the fight — several players were disqualified for lengthy periods. The morale of the story: the result’s not important, but how you play the game! Or as Greg Chappell was quoted just after the underarm bowling incident back in 1981:
“… The most important thing is not to win but to take part; just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is to have fought well…”

The day itself was a glorious sunny afternoon fitting for the occasion. Bill Cooper didn’t show up, and Trevor was busy trying to relocate his luggage that BA had mislaid, forcing him to invest in some new clothing. Matt Parry and Paul McGree, a last minute inclusion, opened the ex-captains innings, and handled the bowling with ease. Matt has recently left Munich to head for London, where he is now combining physics and statistics, doubtless in a lot different fashion than Mr Chairman has ever attempted, either while compiling the club statistics, or in trying to defy the laws of physics and add to his remarkable tally of 141 wickets.

Paul started very cautiously in true Boycott tradition (no shot forward of point before lunch was Boycott’s motto). However, several ex-captains batsmen seem to have got a start, but the lack of match practice may have caused the string of rash strokes that lead to their own downfalls instead of building potentially solid innings to support Paul. This left the side in a difficult situation with the possibility of an innings total well short of a competitive score. At the break Paul and Mark Lichtenhein were still holding things together. Paul started very cautiously, but ended up seeing the ball like a bleeding water-melon and made about 66, a lifetime high score. The way he pasted the current MCC attack around the park made Lovo’s prediction of a one-sided affair look a little short on intellectual content. Paul did admit afterwards that knowing the opposition’s bowlers inside out, did help a little. He was ably supported by Mark who was probably seeing it like a bloody pineapple, and also got stuck into some ordinary bowling with a few very well struck blows, ending up with about 35.

Tony Jacobs is not only a legend bowling, but also has one record which never likely to be beaten — seven consecutive ducks in a season, all LBW!!! This came about from a tactic used by several world-class players — the proverbial Harlem Shuffle in front of the wicket just as the ball is bowled — the deciding factor being that the top batsmen made contact with the ball, while Tony was seen muttering to himself as he wandered off the ground bemoaning another early end to a potentially match-winning innings. Thus, when Tony came to the wicket, there was a distinct hush amongst the large crowd, all thinking “My God, history is not going to repeat itself?” Tony had other ideas, and although the signature shuffle was as obvious as bloody daylight, he casually clipped the ball through mid-wicket for two runs, and left several former colleagues eating their words. The ex-captains side ended up with about 149, and certainly Lovo looked more like a flannelled fool, than a top captain, as he wandered off for the tea break.

On paper, this game was set up for a scintillating second stanza. But on paper, so was the last Ashes — right Tones, “it’s going to be close”. The old hand Pidgeon McGrath was dead right (5:0 — close my arse!). If this bowling attack could bowl anywhere near to it’s potential, some of the MCC batsmen were going to have their work cut out. But it wasn’t to be. Tony and Mark, bowled very admirable spells. Trevor, who hadn’t played any cricket since about 1987, had lost the odd yard, while Ross Crichton’s radar gave you the impression he had been watching too much of that fellow Harmison (“Barmy Harmy”), whose first ball at the Gabba in the First Test, landed in the disbelieving hands of England’s all-time most unsuccessful captain, Fredalo himself, at second slip! The spin department only showed rare glimpses of past magic, with two catches taken in the deep, but with some pretty ordinary stuff in between. Warnie put one past Weston’s outside edge; he supposedly played with Adam Voges in Perth — was he that Sandgroper (a weird nickname for West Australians — can hear Tones in the background muttering “the odd grope in the sandhills with one of those Aussie hippie chicks is hard to beat” — say no more…) whose wife was getting boned by Michael Slater on some Ashes Tour, and was that another Adam?

Anyway after the tea break, the script got badly fast-forwarded, and before you could say “Bob’s-your-uncle”, we were drinking the Forschungsbrauerei brew, and Des Bradley, was handing out personalised MCC statistics to members of the ex-captains side. In the interim, Des had a made a very poor attempt to meet the high standards of the local Munich mayor who opens the Oktoberfest with only a few strokes of his pork sword — or was it a mallet? Des, in his infinite wisdom, manage to squirt all over the place, in a fashion, even women in his life could hardly remember. When handing out the statistics, Des mentioned someone who supposedly had sledged a spectator — what he forgot to mention, was that this was during a brilliant opening stand between Bennett and Carr of 73 in the 1986 Cup final, with Carr going on to make an all-time high of 82 — the opposition made only 72! That certainly put Stuart in the legend status, if he hadn’t already acquired it through other feats. His son was busy describing how that scoreboard was put together after the game, and if it had not been for the efforts of Stuart martialling the troops together in the innings break, which somehow reminded of army procedure in Kubrick’s “Full Metal Jacket”, the team photo might have never come about.

The rest is a bit of a blur. Bostock was putting on a very brave face when confronted with the fact that NZ had choked at four successive World Cups, each time bailing out at the semi-final stage; a genuine cricket lover who doesn’t care who wins, or merely from a small nation with small expectations?

As a famous Aussie Rules coach once said:
“The better side on the day, was beaten by the scoreboard”.

With a bit of luck, some of us might be back in 5 years time…

SCORECARD 40over MATCH.
FORMER CAPTAINS WON TOSS AND NAIVELY ELECTED TO BAT.

Parry b Weston 13
Mcgree ct Khanna b Weston 66
Giles ct Morgan b Scott 1
Carr b Sobek 6
Chrichton ct Ellis b Weston 4
Lichtenhein b Weston 27
Jacobs no 10
Langfelder b Weston 0
Hazeldine b Weston 0
Bennett no 1
Lees dnb

Scott 7-2-12-1
Palfrey 2-0-10-0
Blades 8-0-31-0
Ellis 6-0-35-0
Sobek 4-0-25-1
Morgan 4-0-13-0
Weston 8-1-14-6
Khanna 1-0-8-0

Mcc former captains 149-8 off 40 overs

MCC CARD

Palfrey c Carr b Lees 54
Morgan c Giles b Langfelder 15
Weston b Jacobs 14
Lovell no 35
Khanna no 18

Jacobs 5-0-16-1
Langfelder 3-0-18-1
Lees 2-0-21-1
Carr 3-0-20-0
Hazeldine 3-0-7-0
Mcgree 4-0-17-0
Lichtenhein 6-0-35-0
Chrichton 1-0-12-0

MCC won by 7 wkts

Anzacs Vs MCC 2007

MCC VS ANZACS SELECT XI

Mcc’s first home match of the 2007 season against the ANZACS.With rain in the air a 30over match was agreed.

Glig in his debut as skipper of the ANZACS surprisingly opted to field in the heat of the day. With the attack at his disposal he would have been looking at making early inroads into an apparently brittle MCC batting order. Dutchman Van Dalsum (41) opened up with experienced campaigner Giles (5th in career batting) and moved pleasantly enough on before Giles lost his leg stump to Kiwi Beard Wilson. He spent the next hour wandering around the English Gardenwondering how on earth this could have happened to him especially on this day of all days. This brought another Dutchman to the crease in the form of Van Giesen. This was total cricket with van Basten and Cruyff at the crease. Dennish took time to settle but started to expand his array of shots before being caught with his trousers down by the Gimp.
Captain Lovell then strode bockily to the middle in search of shade. He soon lost VD who was harshly adjudged LBW to half a strangled embarrassed appeal. Sear hit lustily briefly before being embarrassed by the Dunney door. Captain Morgan then joined the other captain and took full toll on the bowling. His pointless banging of pads with Newberry bat will prove an irritation though as the season unfolds.

Late runs brought the MCC up to 6 an over – 180 off their reduced 30 allocation. Lovell (48) out off the last ball to avoid accusations of having a pointless average.

Young Kiwi Mitch was definitely the pick of the bowling and set the standard in the field. After a fine tea from beard Sobek Mcc took to the field looking to defend their impressive total. LH Aussie openers Palfrey and Perth Weston look settled early before Sobek took a fine catch at backward square leg in his longsleeve/chest to remove Weston. Palfrey (41) hit well before being undone by a straight one by the Finch. Other than Kiwi Mitch with an unbeaten 26 – no other major contributions as the guts of the wet innings was removed by Sobek, Finch and Sharma. In fact the only possible highlight was Gligorov coming out to bat having forgotten his gloves. Basics. MOM ANZACS MITCH. MCC YOUTH POLICY

Individual Performance Summary

MCC

VD 41, 3-0-23-1, 1 catch while subbage
Gilo (5th in career batting) 4, one catch over his shoulder running
van Giesen, 22, one catch, one stumping
Lovell, 48,
Sear, 16, 3-0-19-1,
Cap`n Morgan, 27,
Nav Sharma, 5, 5.1-0-10-2,1 catch
Sleepy Sobek, 0*, 4-0-17-3, 1 catch (catches win matches)
Finch, DNB, 3-0-10-2, 1 drop
Scott, DNB, 5-0-15-0
Gale, Was given the all clear to watch title deciding Man Utd derby.
ANZACS

Palfrey, 41, 1 catch
Weston, 5, 4-0-17-0
Wilson, 7, 6-1-34-1 (bowled mcc’s 5th best batsman ever behind legs)
Ryan, 26*, 6-0-29-2, one run out
Dunne, 9, 5-0-35-2
Capell, 3,
Algar, 0, 4-0-26-0
Gligorov, 1, 5-0-35-1 (on tap)
Carr, 1, (turned up 5 hours late)
Finnan, 1,

Vienna 2007

Events of the Similar, if not different, but surely better, tour of Vienna, 2007.

A fantastic weekend for eveyone involved, here are just some of the highlights.. Gale and Dunne absolutely clunted on the train there On arrival in the station hall at Westbahnhof, Glig waving something in his hand, shouting “The team from Germany has arrived!” – as if everyone there has been awaiting us. Singing and dancing with norgs and the jailbait in the beer garden. On leaving the Wombats for dinner, Glig welcoming the new guests with the phrase “Worst hostel ever”, taking them completely by surprise.

Glig leading the group through Vienna, looking from behind like someone from the Bee Gees. Brendan promising “excellent food” at restaurant close to Westbahnhof – “he has been there couple of times”. Coming closer, worries start growing, because nobody was sitting inside. Entering the restaurant, everyone realizes that this was a big mistake, the place looking like a 70’s east block restaurant. When food was coming after about 40 minutes, the new member of the group, the other Ryan from the Wombats, was still waiting for his chips. Glig realizing this, “re-ordered” them by yelling angrily at the top of his voice “Eine Portion Pommes!” through the restaurant with mostly elderly guests. The waiters start getting nervous. Westy picking the covering off from his Schnitzel, leaving a whole plate of covering behind. Finch deeply disappointed by the Schnitzel, keeps repeating “the first time in 25 years that he has not finished his food in a restaurant”

It was shithouse, 75 cent ketchup, watered down red wine, 1.60 croissants, shitty grisely snitzels… glig’s “hows the fucking steak coming along” call so the whole restaurant could hear. the introduction of the similar, but different call dunne a mess by now, a shadow 9 euro rounds between 6 of us by hot but ditzy as barmaid Hamo chatting up women at wombats and disappearing to the “bank”. Gale and glig looking to “go pro” botswana, if not similar, but better, cameroon weston making sure dunne was ok and asking dunne did you just get in? at 7am. concerned for dunne who was now a shadow of his former shadow. At the cricket field, Glig supporting the team by shouting “Tu es fuer Deutschland!”, “Du bist Deutschland!” and Brendan shouting hysterically “Weiter, Jungs, weiter!”.

Game one, gale and ryan smoked em, Weston 6 off first ball of innings then run out second ball of innings, gale looking to retire hurt (hurting bombs) in the 5th over of the innings, starting to walk off and shout to dunne to come on. The scorecard would have read. Gale. Retired hurt (clunted) made 80 odd from the 8 overs. great effort. bowled poorly first 4 overs, then tightened up and got regular wickets to go down to the final over, before being beaten by 1 wicket. great come back and recovery with good bowling in the last 4 overs and great outfield catching Second game against second sri lankan team. glig and richard put on 60odd stand to get us 97, big hitting by richo and massive fist pumping by glig to put together another great effort. but the sri lankans got them no wicket down in the 5th over with some of the biggest and cleanest hitting ever seen! The Sri Lankan guys playing the music from their camp all over the ground.

Saturday night, dinner at the ground, back to the hotel, we went to the bermuda triangle, nightclub which was massive, all blind and looking for norgs, if not similar. On the second day, the taxi driver (possibly still drunk), when asked to put on some music by Brendan, starts switching the channel every 20 seconds. Glig telling Brendan “he has created a monster here”, Brendan explaining the taxi driver was just doing a live DJ.

Sunday, the big win, dunne smoked 60 or so to set up the win for the MCC superstars, pasting Austria/England all over the park. Big total which was completely out of reach for the Austrians. Cant wait for next year! We will surely go similar, if not better!!

Slovenia 2007

A Virginal Tour: Boot Camp

Ljubljana

Standing in the foyer of our hotel, it soon became clear that I had gotten off quite lightly. To my right stood an adult male rugby player with the usual proclivity for hairy legs, man breasts and dragging knuckles albeit it with one exception. This man was dressed in bright pink fishnets, a tight crop top (the colour of which escapes me) and a mini-skirt the wrong side of modest. As it turns out, this was his first club rugby tour and like all touring virgins he was required by long-standing and highly revered traditions, to make a complete arse of himself. I say again, I think I got off quite lightly.

As a touring (and more importantly a Kiwi) virgin with the MCC I was not quite sure what to expect. I was sure the “boys” were going to get very good mileage out of my packed lunch (thanks Mum), my apparent excess of luggage (a 72 litre backpack that looked full but wasn’t really) and my shiny new cricket shoes, which I had been unable to scuff up on the way to Hauptbahnhof. Surprise then when I gathered together and stood hands stuffed into pockets with a bunch of seedy looking guys, many of who carried equally cumbersome looking items of baggage and never even noticed the glare from my new shoes. Of greater concern was the fact that with 10 mins to kick off, captain and tickets were still conspicuously absent. Last seen in the twilight hours before dawn propping up a bar stool and doing his best to further English-Deutsch relations, said captain arrived rosy cheeked just in time for a brisk walk to the train. As it turned out he had spent most of the morning trying to track down the cricket bat he swore he had left in one the many high class establishments visited the night before; forgetting all the while that in a moment of clarity he had entrusted the bat to new captain of vice Gligorov in the hope of preventing this very problem. Basics.

All aboard (including a huffing and puffing Desmond whose decision to tour had been very last minute – due to a basic error from Finch) the cattle truck began the six-hour moo to Slovenia.

The first half of the trip was relatively uneventful, possibly as the buffet bar was deemed to be a bridge too far at this stage.

Under the influence of homemade beer, muffins and the beautiful alpine scenery the team quickly settled into the accepted repertoire of discussion topics: World cup cricket, the fairer sex, past tours and the beer supply (see buffet bar). Therefore, it wasn’t until the train approached the Austrian border that things began to get really interesting. Another late addition to the tour, Robbo Ellis, had no ticket, no hotel booking and most important of all, no passport. While his Spartan approach to touring made my backpack seem all the more ridiculous, I was kind of glad I had thought to bring my passport when we were very rudely interrupted by two rather intimidating looking Border Police guards who seemed about as inviting as a Turkish prison.

Whether they took pity on Robin for his fumbling attempts at German (we’ve all been there) or merely wrote the incident off as another case of “blode ausländers” we’ll never know. Whatever their reason, Robin was allowed to stay on the train, and we to continue on our merry way. One border down, only one to go!

Ever determined to show that he too could muster a sense of authority our captain, fine leader of men that he is, decided the time was right and donning a full Sadam Hussein mask and a pair of sharkies, proudly paraded up and down the carriage – in manner fitting boot camp 07.

It was quite a sight. Not the image of a six-foot-plus, slightly unsteady Sadam Hussein walking up and down the carriage, but the completely perplexed expressions of fellow train travellers – none of whom seemed to find it remotely funny.

On arrival, the city of Ljubljana seemed pleasant enough. Eastern bloc maybe- but without that nagging suspicion we might all wake up after a night on the turps minus a kidney, lung, or some other essential piece of equipment.

We disembarked and ram-shambled our way to where we believed buses would be waiting our imminent arrival. They were not. After some unseemly finger pointing, several members of the party voted to break away and formed, appropriately enough, a separatist party, trekking to the hotel on foot. The remaining bulk waiting patiently for the two mini buses, which eventually arrived to ferry us to our destination: Hotel Park.

Inside an unsmiling clerk (was it perhaps part of his tourist brief – “you must act, think and be communist”) doled out rooms like this week’s bread rations, making everyone (except for Robin) a little nervous when he insisted on keeping all passports. Being little red caboose, (or, if truth be told, Nigel-no-friends), I was left with a room all to my lonesome. No snoring, naked, or smelly team mates to wake up next to. You can just feel the disappointment in the air. Hardly boot camp, but I’ll take it.

A shampoo, shave, shit, shoe-shine later, all party members assembled in the lounge where it was quickly decided to find the local Irish pub in the hope of catching the tail end of Australia vs. Kiwis in the latest instalment of the farcical World Cup, see

www.farcepodsiccworldcup.com for more details.

While one or two members sat down to watch the game, some seemed more interested in bettering their tour averages and before long the dirt began to fly as the spades worked overtime and really began to dig deep and do the hard yards.

Of particular interest were two young blonde locals, who being the friendly, welcoming sort, were soon up to their back teeth in testosterone. Not that they seemed to mind. As the night progressed many of the party (those that had not gone for the sensible options of food or bed) decided to follow these two friendly girls clubbing.

After rejecting the first club due to its very ARC-like male-female ratio, the team settled for the second where Glig (in all his magnanimity) paid the exorbitant 50c cover charge. All seemed rosy until the bouncers began to express concerns over Mark –Maddog-Palfrey, who by this time was displaying all the classic systems of someone who had gone the trip thus far, sans food (the muffin doesn’t count). Luckily, some more sweet-talking by Glig alleviated the situation and soon we were all treated to the spectacle of Mark’s unique sense of rhythm as he straddled the dance floor like some sort of bucking bronco, one hand free to keep his balance, the other clamped tightly to the reigns, or in this case, a random pole used for vertical support. Mark Palfrey, the only man who can imbibe like Shane MacGowan, outdance Peter Garrett and then go out and bat like Bert Sutcliffe.

Many €2.50 vodka red-bulls later and things had hotted up on the dance floor. It had quickly became apparent that not all the action was going to take place on the field the next day and at 3am when remaining members decided to call it stumps, Grant “Andrew Jones” Algar (i.e.: unorthodox but effective) and Glig the Gypsy, both decided to stay and bowl over a few more maidens.

We Got Game

I know it’s a cliché, but with all the distractions of touring it was hard to remember there was a game on this weekend; and for those actually interested there is a pretty good summary of individual performances included below, courtesy of Desmond Bradley.

After a late rise by many, we made our way in taxi convoy to the ground. The ground itself was at least 25 mins out of Ljubljana set beneath a backdrop of snow-dusted Alps in a village called Valburga. Quite breathtaking really. The outfield itself left a little to be desired, full of potholes deep and wide enough to break elephant ankles and the worst run-ups I have personally experienced. But, to be fair, the concrete strip, while narrow, was a pleasure to play on, having in direct contrast to our beloved home ground, some bounce.

Having won the toss the decision was made to bat and for a first outing MCC made a good fist of it. Mark Palfrey looked in suspiciously good nick early in the season and his 73 combined with a captain’s knock of 56 from Saddam made up the bulk of our 228 runs.

Feeling fatally confident we took to the field and calmly proceeded to grass nearly everything that came our way. It took a lunch break of pizza and fizz, kindly organised by the opposition, to recharge our batteries before some of the catches began to stick. And despite fielding like “Dad’s Army” (Tony Blades), 40 wides, 8 no-balls, and our best attempts to actually lose the game, we eventually won it by 21 runs, thanks mostly to an inspired 5 for 59 by Robin on debut.

After a few beers with our hosts in a tidy local pub, we returned to our Hotel around 11:30pm hoping to catch a bite to eat. While we had won the cricket, not everything had gone to plan that day. Both Glig and Algar found themselves stood up by their recent nubile acquaintances and settling for a poor second prize, joined the team for dinner at a local restaurant.

The general theme for this evening was meat, meat, and more meat. The locals insisted on bringing plate after plate until begged to stop by even the heartiest of carnivores. I don’t know what was in the meat, (being the sole vege I did not partake) but something seemed to stir up the testosterone levels and as I left for a much needed early night some of the boys were giving the old dirty laundry a decent airing.

The next morning many did their own thing. Some who had gone in search of clubs in the wee hours chose to sleep it off, others sipped quiet beers down by the river side, others played tourist, checking out the castle on the hill and a local delicacy known as a “horse burger” (can’t wait for the Mc. Ed), and a select few went in search of their special lady friends, who had agreed to meet for “coffee.”.

With the day drawing to a close all that was left was to catch our train and enjoy our first class passage straight through to Munich, where wives and work were waiting.

Well, that was the plan. Never did understand the full logistical story, but the upshot of it was we were delayed one hour in Ljubljana; (giving Glig just enough time to go back to the Hotel and get his bag, the silly sod really believed one of us had carried it for him) were held on the train for another hour somewhere in Austria without a little boy’s room; had to change trains in Salzburg and wait a further hour on a cold platform, before we finally pulled into Munich on the sunny side of 2:00am, a total of four hours late. Cheers Die Bahn – Kuntz.

Well, I guess it wasn’t called “Boot Camp” for nothing.

Un-PC call of the tour: “It’s a bit Pearl Harbour” (nasty nip in the air).

Match Summary

Palfreyman: 73; didn’t bowl, one fine catch at point, kept wicket till did toys after 10overs coz ball was hurting from the pace attack pounding.

Algar: 13 ran out – blamed on senior Australian partner; 4 -0-11-0, 2 catches, 4 wides, 2 no-balls – kept wicket until called upon to bowl with aplomb. Ian Smith/Warren Lees. In danger of being led astray by the Gimp at advanced age of 34.

Dribbler Morgan: 0, 2-0-21-1, 0 catches but dropped a few or stumbled in alleged potholes, 3 wides, 2 no-balls. Promoted up order to no avail. Needs to increase intake of Pinot Grigio.

Dunne, the match-maker: (BD) M. 2; 4-0-28-1, 6 wides. See Morgan.

Sadam Lovell 56 with long lost bat (SG). Fielded like CPT Mainwaring. Allergies.

Wilson: 18; 6-0-18-0, 4 wides. Bruce Reid. Boot camp correspondent.

Robbo Ellis: 0 – alleged premature triggering by Kiwi opening bat, rumblings of disappointment at first blob for the club; 8-0-59-5, 7 wides, 3 no-balls. Left arm Paul Adams impersonations. Frog in blender etc.

Bunty Blades: 10* (red ink); 6-0-21-1, 3 wides. Kept wicket for end crunch overs – first time since Brisbane U9s.

Scotty: 11*; 5-1-7-0, 2 wides. Bonus points for alleged deviancy.

Gligorov: didn’t bat, 5-0-32-1, 1 catch, 10 wides. Very immature celebration of a) catch at cow-corner and b) wicket with alleged (even) slower ball.

Ice-Bär Haenelt, didn’t bat, didn’t bowl, no catches nor any opportunity to drop any. Berlin Wall.

Doug (Easy rider) Giles: didn’t bat, didn’t bowl, no catches and only dropped one, possibly two. Complained at not batting despite being listed 5th in MCC career runs.

Chairman Bradley – likes scoring in the LJ shade. Impressed with the originality of table conversation during dirty laundry session at team dinner.

The prize for the most wides goes to Gligorov.

Trentino 2007

Trentino “Hit de rubbish again” Tour 2007

In Summary a cracking tour in the vineyards of Northern Italy. A deserved 2nd place gave MCC their first and only piece of silverware for 2007. Arnold and his merry Sri Lankan men stealing the Murali chucker 1st place trophy by a whisker (albeit a pretty fat joint-like whisker).

Player Profile Summary

Glig aka Mr C.unted

Turned up off his face after drinking raki all afternoon while discussing team tactics with felix. majestic 6 out the ground, BDM did most of the work. Stuck by his legspin bowling despite others suggesting otherwise.

Palfrey aka Redneck

Amazed us all by turning up at Ostbahnhof Sixt when the unix encrypted email clearly stated einsteinstrasse Sixt.basics. Great batting, scoring maximums 2 out of 3 times. BDM did most of the work though.

Bail aka Alan

Partly responsible for the initial fvck up, along with the other 5 bodies.Hit de wall early saturday night. lights on ‘aber keine da’. Pearler of a ball 1st game, malingaesq,even BDM couldnt get its fat little face on it. furniture. Faultless driving of HGV, not impressed with codrivers input though.punch it.200 in it. Bowled consistently well batted within himself.

Dunne aka Mr C.monkey

Fittest bloke at the tournament.Along with Westy helped dig the MCC out the pap 1st game and bowled exceptionally well (until really needed in the final). Nice bloke, loves eating and sleeping with the occasional beverage thrown in. Assumes corporate monkey status in all areas of life.

Mr Head aka Wop.

Turned up with a delhi belly then proceeded to eat a chilli kebab in order to flush it out. Most sensible bloke on tour, unsurprising given his intake was pitiful. Disappointed with the bat, we didnt know he could fail.He can. Punkt. Awesome with the gloves tho, 3 stumpings and a run out first day. Decided to concentrate on translating and navigation skills rather than the batting he’d been picked for.

Westy aka Mr Fund

Finally came of age in a non-stats tournament. Great batting in all 3 innings. retiring twice and finishing with big . bigger . sixes. Questionable bowel movements, cute pyjamas and tatical semi lob-ons to keep him hungry. Got medival with the bowling… Bowled well but his failure to drink on 1st night didnt go unnoticed.

Rabble

Friendlies 2007

Match Details MCC vs ROOS INVITATION ELEVEN 14 July 2007

MCC Performers

Batsman
;
Blades b 0
Morgan b 16
Sobek ct 24
Clare ro 11
Cross st 28
Glig b 6
Weston ct 0
Lovell ct 25
Dunne no 55
Weatherall no 7
Bradley dnb dnb
TOTAL 35 Overs 191 for 8

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Dunne 3 0 12 0
Glig 7 0 53 1
Blades 7 0 45 1
Clare 5 2 25 2
Weston 5.5 1 22 1
Sobek 2 0 7 1
Morgan 2 0 13 0

Summary of Match Result

ROOS RINGERS WON BY FOUR WKTS.

Comments on the Match

Sobek always scores runs at no3. Dunne scored his maiden 50 with lusty late hitting as Mcc totalled approaching 200. Palfrey taking 3-18 and Hazza 2-22 for the Roos. In reply ringer Di Perna quickly took the game away from the MCC with some huge hitting (despite his Italian ancestry) in his 83. Ringer Mitch (subs) Ryan then finished the game off with aplomb with 36no as the Roos ran out 4 wkt victors on a nice day at the Theatre of Double hitting.

MCC Man of The Match

RINGER DI PERNA WHO ALLEGEDLY HAD TO LEAVE AT 4pm (mrs). STAYED TILL 6pm IN SIGHT OF HIS HUNDRED. (relationship hanging by thread)

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Match Details MCC vs MUNICH ASHES MCC V AUSSIES JULY 28

MCC Performers

Batsman
;
Clare b 7
Sobek b 27
Cross st 7
Lovell LBW 0
Morgan ct 2
Furlonger ct 9
Ryan no 22
Wilson st 3
Sear ct 5
Gale no 3
Scott dnb
TOTAL 26 Overs 103 for 8

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 4 1 13 2
Wilson 4 0 24 1
Mitch 6.2 1 18 6
Gale 3 0 25 0
Sear 3 0 17 0

Summary of Match Result

MCC WIN ASHES BY TWO WKTS.

Comments on the Match

On a beautiful July day Aussie skipper Glig naively elected to bat first. Di Pernot top scored with 55 with some similar pronto lusty blows. Jules (10) and Billy Bob Blades (13*) were the only other Aussies to make double figures subsiding to 102 all out in 20 short overs. Mcc’s Mitch Ryan ripping the guts out of the Aussie innings with 6 quick sticks. In reply Sobek top scored with 27 battling away against some impressive bowling (Dunne 3-15). MOM Ryan (22*) saw Mcc home with composure beyond his years to cap his day…rounded off by kegs of scientific ale. A perfect day?

MCC Man of The Match

Mitch Ryan. NFQ.

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Match Details MCC vs GORDON GREENIDGE TOUR AMSTERDAM AUG 11

MCC Performers

Batsman
;
Bostock b 0
Furlonger ct 18
Morgan b 3
van Giezen ct 7
Khanna lbw 21
Lovell ro 45
Blades b 16
Dunne ct 0
Glig ct 3
Edwards ct 3
Knut no 0
TOTAL 37 Overs 148 for 10

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Dunne 8 1 21 2
Glig 8 0 31 2
Morgan 5 0 24 1
Blades 8 0 33 1
Van Giezen 3 0 27 2
Furlonger 2 0 17 1
Khanna 3 0 22 0

Summary of Match Result

MCC LOST BY 42 runs.

Comments on the Match

A homecoming for Dutch superstar Dennis Bergkamp, sorry Dennis van Giezen. With weather and hospitality to match, a splendid time was had by all except for Glig. However no tour report has been generated to protect the innocent. No photographic nocturnal evidence neither. The cricket was played out on a bouncy artificial with the home side scoring 190 with extras (47) top scoring. Glig won the wide contest. Dunne was the pick of a tired bunch of bowlers with 2-21 off 8. Prodigal son van Giezen and the Gimp also picked up 2 a piece. Buckets van Giezen also snaffled 3 catches mostly in the deep when farming was being attempted. In reply MCC got off to a perfect start with a bemused returning Kiwi castled for a golden first ball of innings. Lovell (45) and Blades (16) put on 60odd for the 6th wkt as MCC scrambled back into proceedings. Blades scoring his 1000 runs for the club after some suggested an over-long wait to overcome the statistical burden. VC Glig then most naively committed cricketing suicide by running out the skipper with overs to spare. With that the game was up and the innings fizzled out. Mcc losing by 42 runs. A beautiful spread was provided with Indonesian origins, Gordon Greenidge was rumoured to have made a guest appearance between innings and plenty of cold fresh in the Dutch sunshine. Knut was award MOM and a Dutch cap for being the only German and of course he was not out. Berlin Wall. Thanks to our hosts for a great day and stay.

MCC Man of The Match

TEALADY & KNUT.

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Match Details MCC vs FRANKFURT 18th August

MCC Performers

Batsman
;
Palfrey no 64
Van Giezen b 54
Sobek b 2
Gale no 12
Arnab dnb
Mitch dnb
Clare dnb
Blades dnb
Glig dnb
Dunne dnb
Wilson dnb
TOTAL 32 Overs 162 for 2

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Dunne 8 0 34 3
Wilson 7 0 44 1
Blades 5.3 1 23 3
Clare 4 0 16 0
Glig 6 1 19 0
Mitch 5 0 18 4

Summary of Match Result

MCC WON BY EIGHT WKTS.

Comments on the Match

Frankfurt the visitors from just south of the Eros Centre. A lovely August day in the very English garden. 3 sticks each for Aussies Blades and Dunny Door. And before you know the soon departing young Kiwi Mitch Ryan cleaned up the scraps with four at the end. FFM all out for a modest 159. 2 catches and 2 stumpings from an inspired van Giezen. In reply MCC coasted home by 8 wkts with Palfers and Dennish van Giezen both scoring half centuries.

MCC Man of The Match

VAN GIEZEN.

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Match Details MCC vs OOOOOOOOh Vienna Sept 22

MCC Performers

Batsman
;
Palfrey ct 19
Blades b 6
Di Perna lbw 65
Clare lbw 11
Lovell b 45
Morgan no 16
Dunne ct 0
Wilson dnb
Howard dnb
Coles dnb
Scott dnb
TOTAL 35 Overs 201 for 6

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 6.3 1 30 1
Dunne 4 0 29 1
Wilson 7 0 33 0
Blades 7 0 40 3
Palfrey 1 0 9 0
Clare 7 0 42 3
Coles 2 0 10 0

Summary of Match Result

MCC LOST BY TWO WKTS.

Comments on the Match

Vienna arrived in time for the Oktoberfest and the last game of the season. Youngsters of Austria CC brought the best game of the year matched by beautiful Oktoberfest weather. The only downer was Weston turning up dressed up in Lederhosen. Also Blades played his final game before returning to Briz with his family. The team formed a guard of honour after his dismissal to mark the occasion. Mcc won the toss with good early bowling from the tourists. Di Perna top scored with 65, putting on 90odd with skipper Lovell (45) for the 4th wkt. Some good late bowling in the death overs restricted MCC to 201 off 35 overs. Di Perna cramp and Lovell jaded. Tourists immediately took up the challenge and were always up with the run rate. 3 wks each for Blades and Clare Rich pegged Vienna back. It finally went to the last over and penultimate ball as the Viennese came home 2 wkt victors. Well played.

MCC Man of The Match

Di Perna.

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Zuoz 2007

Zuoz – the two pot screamer tour 2007.

It was a pleasant tour despite the usual hiccups/disasters/carnage. After all the moist weather en route in the camper van it was pleasant to see the sun had got his hat on come Saturday sparrow. This journey included the now infamous Bob Bolder incident. Mitch will never be the same player again but the swift pit stop and changing of tyre will have impressed Mcclaren scouts.

The long awaited draw for the opening game brought the inevitable conclusion – MCC were to play Deutschland u19s. After a few negative comments the players got their game faces on and busied themselves with Westy’s warm-up apart from the skipper who mulled over the vagaries of the toss.Lovell had no hesitation after winning the toss in electing to bat first.

All games were fixed at 30overs with 6 max per bowler. MCC looked a fit and refreshed bunch compared to previous tours. Some wild bowling early on meant the skipper and Daniel eased their way into affairs stroking a 122 run partnership in their first partnership together. Westy was not overly fluent early doors – being outscored by the skipper – possibly an indication of this. The mid-innings break at 15overs gave zee Germans an opportunity to re-group. The spinners were brought on and MCC did not really kick on in the face of some tight bowling with Weston falling for 37.

Lovell continued to prosper until finally being castled jaded for 77. Dunne (good bloke) 3rd top scored with some lusty blows in his 19. Dribs and drabs from the others. MCC finishing with 175, a par score from 30overs. Basics.

A keyed up MCC bowling attack took to the field and Glig got amongst them with 3 early wkts as ze Germans subsided early doors. Scott tied up the other end. A period of consolidation ensued with the German spielfuehrer Kashif batting well looked like making the game close. But Lovelli was able to rotate the bowler and set tactical fields as zee Germans succumbed to scoreboard pressure.

Anton Blades (3-10) and McGree, Mitch and Gale with a wkt apiece put an end to proceedings. A most convincing win for MCC. The only obvious p1sser was Mike Wilson’s injury. Bowling left arm over he turned his ankle in the ropy run ups and it soon swelled up alarmingly. That put him out of the tournament despite extensive (i.e. +2pot attempts) at Forschungsbrauerei blood doping throughout the weekend.

Mcc had played well but as later transpired had peaked too soon and came way too early. Matron. Vicar.
After some lunch/BBQ/liquids Lodi were the next opponents in the semi – a team against whom the MCC had a good record over the years.

Mcc won the toss (again) and took first use of Pitch nr 1, Lovell dropping down the order to protect a rib. Mitch was promoted to open – looking to get back on the horse. An opening bowler ringer from England cleaned him out in the same fashion as the first innings – having taken one on the body the ball b4.McGree was shoddily run out and Lovell played all around a straight one. Mr Gharles was called on to steady the ship and this he did with Westy batting with grace and aplomb.
Westy’s demise for 60 soon after the mid-innings break meant that MCC were in danger of not scoring enough runs. Despite a useful partnership of dreizig by Blades and Gale, MCC finished with a paltry 134 from their allocation. Not even a comedy Sobek double hit to the fence could alter the paltriness of affairs.

So not enough runs but still clinging to the vague hope of bowling out the opposition. After 3 early wkts (another two for the gimp) and a brilliant run out by wunderkind Mitch the game was back in the melting pot. And then it quickly disappeared as some cowboy hitting took the game away on the short boundaries. Game over. Mcc apparently hadn’t scored enough runs and lost convincingly in the end. A visibly jaded MCC took to the field for the Sunday morning game v Basle struggling to lift spirits or run off the effect of them and something similar.

MCC won the toss and batted again zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Westy was run out despite a full length Ian Thorpe dive. Blades batted well and then succumbed to a loose shot when in sight of a bobby sand of runs for the club. Mitch (33) was solid and scored his first runs of the tour. Gale mowed his merry MOO way to an unbeaten 59 in good partnerships with Dunne and Scott. Mcc finished on 157, a nothing score in a nothing game.

Mcc bowlers got pounded with only partially Scott escaping the long handle. The gimp picked up another 2 poles to finish top wkt taker. Basle coasted to victory which was good as there were still lots of Augustiner to finish from the well, those that were remaining that is – after about a dozen had been taxed/tea leafed.
Scorecard Zuoz
Gale’s factual synopsis of Zuoz tour

Lovell

Captain of Life. Models himself on Fredalo with dark glasses hiding his p1ss holes in the snow. Match winning knock of 77 and tactical genius 1st match. Injured/Jaded thereafter.

Westy

Great keeping. Jack Russell in his prime. Already (almost) the best bat in the club behind Lovell and VD. Majestic 60 in the semis b4 throwing wkt away, unably supported by the rest of the MCC clowns. Needs to work on the Après side of the game, will come with time. Enjoyed the drive back via Dubai with pinhead 4th wheel. Also enjoys run out decisions by limping umpires.

Mitch Ryan

Club mascot. Not impressed by older, more mature members antics. 2 blobs spoilt his first overseas tour forcing him home early with a cup of cocoa instead of Tegernsee Helles. Good convincing knock 3rd day despite running MCCs best bat out. Harsh and unfair. Cracking run out in the Semi giving the MCC a sniff of victory. Sniff.

Glig

Star bowler with 8 sticks. Came closest with international jailbait. Started up own poker club in the Dorta. www.pokerjailbait.ch. Successfully arranged pick up of new Davos racing wheel. Gimp. Continually let himself with bizarre wkt celebrations.

Brendan

When not pining over the Frau, he worked on corporate monkey issues.

Apparently unfortunate not to bowl in Semis, forgot his sunglasses in the field. Promising starts with the bat evolved into meaningless caveman shots. Slugfest. By all accounts a good bloke.

Bail

Forgot passport. Basics. Jagermeister. Last in first up. Pitiful bowling display and refusal to attempt a 5 meter high rocket catch on the boundary. Should have jumped. Marginal amends in pointless final day with a 59 no resembling the clubbing of seals. Successful completion of remarkable UK all-comers Swiss record for 51 hours non-stop in long sleeve MCC woollen garment. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=clubbing+seals

Blades

Lived up to his brief as quiet, unassuming Queenslander. Was so lovely to see everyone in the Dorta. Chipped his way to a bee’s dick away from MCC 1000 runs. When he wasn’t Gordon Greenidge he was drinking a beer. Vice versa. Enjoyed recounting previous Clingfilm boy & Eccy 3some jaunts. Ably supported his Gimp prodigy in the bowling.

Has vowed to fly back from Gabba for Zuoz 2008.

Dev badly

Enjoyed the Tour de Muenchen prior to zuoz departure. 1hr detour to Forschingsbrauerei improved his general demeanour. Refused to drive the bus in order to get faced on the way down. Loved sharing the oven with Tones at the Swiss border. Forever the Richter, looking forward to dcb finals with Todd and Jack Jones.

Sobek

Great Bristol accent – have a buzz – don’t go silly. Unfortunately he did. Driving almost made up for his batting, double hit tarnished an otherwise spotless reputation. Ball deep. Great match winning catch against zee Germans. Jugs. Juggleage. Due a run. Any sort of run. Main candidate to overtake Wilson as the clubs new two potter.

Wilson

2 pot screamer. Ironic that he really wants to work here. Unfortunate ankle injury against U19s cost him and the club a place in the final. Selfish. Boulder bash driving cost car II several hours. Unluckiest bloke on tour. http://www.lfchistory.net/player_profile.asp?player_id=499

McGree & Sav

Inseparable during the tour. Wisely so. Strangely chose to drive via Vaduz, allegedly for lunch… Unlucky on the batting front, faultless on the field. Cracked open a romantic bottle of cheeky red 4am Sunday morning. Class. Dubious running between wkts.

Doug

Mr Gharles. Stabilising innings in farcical semi final. Batted well last game. PJs/Bike underwear the height of Swiss fashion. Castello man, enjoyed his olive pizza, as much as Wilson did. Went big 1st night never really recovered. Gutted at the quality of Swiss ale and cost of Dev’s quadruple Weinschorle.

Paul Scott

Arrived in early hours from his new corp. monkey position. Big hands. A yard too quick for the cowboys, not enough smell de leather balls. Separate car hire via LJ. Arrived late Friday but still hit

the 10 pint mark before driving home. Good partnership with Bail final match, front foot and backlift. Howay the lads. Very unlucky bowler. Glig should start playing cards against him.

TOUR KEYWORDS A – Z

A – ALAN

B – BAIT, BAIL, BOULDER

C – CUNTED, CLINGFILM, COWBOY, CORPORATE,

D – DEV, DAVOS, DORM, DORTA, DOUBLE-HIT

E – ECCIES

F – FORSCHUNGSBRAUEREI, FACED

G- (MR) GHARLES, GOIN THE DISTANCE

H- HARRY DOES A LOT FOR THIS CLUB

I- IRONY DOESN’T WORK HERE

J- JAILBAIT, JUGS, JUGGLAGE, JAGERMEISTER, JADED

K – KUNTED

L- LOVELY TO SEE YOU, LIPS

M- (MR) GHARLES, MITCH, MOO

N- NAIVE

O- (FCKIN) OATH, OLIVES

P- PODS, PAIR, PJS, POINTLESS, POTLESS

Q- QUEENSLANDER

R- RELIC, RUNOUT, RICHTER, ROCKY

S- SHADOW, SPARE, SIMILAR, SCREAMER

T- TWOPOT SCREAMER, THREESOME

U- UNDER 19

V – VASELINE, VODKA

W – WEINSCHORLE, WAGON, W@NKERED

X – X-RATED

Y- YOUTH TEAMS, YOGHURT, YES NO WAIT SORRY TOO LATE

Z – ZEE GERMANS, ZUOZ

Ashes 2007

Match Details MCC vs MUNICH ASHES MCC V AUSSIES JULY 28

MCC Performers

Batsman
;
Clare b 7
Sobek b 27
Cross st 7
Lovell LBW 0
Morgan ct 2
Furlonger ct 9
Ryan no 22
Wilson st 3
Sear ct 5
Gale no 3
Scott dnb
TOTAL 26 Overs 103 for 8

MCC Bowler
Bowler O M R W
Scott 4 1 13 2
Wilson 4 0 24 1
Mitch 6.2 1 18 6
Gale 3 0 25 0
Sear 3 0 17 0

Summary of Match Result

MCC WIN ASHES BY TWO WKTS.

Comments on the Match

On a beautiful July day Aussie skipper Glig naively elected to bat first. Di Pernot top scored with 55 with some similar pronto lusty blows. Jules (10) and Billy Bob Blades (13*) were the only other Aussies to make double figures subsiding to 102 all out in 20 short overs. Mcc’s Mitch Ryan ripping the guts out of the Aussie innings with 6 quick sticks. In reply Sobek top scored with 27 battling away against some impressive bowling (Dunne 3-15). MOM Ryan (22*) saw Mcc home with composure beyond his years to cap his day…rounded off by kegs of scientific ale. A perfect day?

MCC Man of The Match

Mitch Ryan. NFQ.