League 2002

MATCH REPORT MUNICH CC V LUFTHANSA MAY 18 2002

A beautiful summer’s day in the scenic English Garden seemed to be the order of the day. Or was it?

According to local weather reports it could empty hailstones and icy golf balls at any time during the afternoon. Electrical storms thunder and lightning but when? This seemed to affect the paranoid MCC skipper’s thinking. Renowned for his dislike of inclement cricketing conditions – the threat of these huge missiles soon to empty down from the sky were to play a pivotal role in Saturday’s opening 2002 league fixture.

With Lovell losing the toss once again in pure Hussain fashion MCC took to the field against Lufthansa on what was a bloody hot and steamy afternoon with temperatures approaching a tropical 30degrees in the middle. Personally it reminded me of Eden Gardens without the ceremonial burning of programmes and seats by disgruntled supporters. What was really needed were senior members of the club (i.e. Treasurer Giles, Chairman Bradley, Chief Nachwuchs breeder Carr and scorer Hamilton) to perform a type of Morris-dance with cricket bats to keep the demon storms away until stumps.

Dangerous Lufthansa left-hander, captain and senior pilot savagely cut the 3rd ball of the opening Hebel over to the boundary. He repeated the stroke next ball, middling it uppishly towards surfer Grier patrolling the covers. He took it nonchalantly, pouched it and wondered what all the fuss was about. A great catch made to look all too easy. This set the pattern for the day.

Entrusted with the new ball on their MCC league debuts Willing n’Hebel and ‘Maysie’ Mcgree ripped through the Lufthansa co-pilots taking 3 wickets each. Hebel with 3-11 and Mcgree with 3-23 with the majority bowled through the boarding gate as the Lufthansa batsman took off for departure earlier than they would have liked. Bostock joined in the fun and picked up the next pouched by van Driver at 3rd slip before the loveable Pom was (deservedly?) took off for taking too long to get back to his mark. Sembian Harbajan took 2 wickets with his spinners and van Driver raced in to take another clean bowled as Lufthansa landed on a meagre 60 all out in around 23 overs.

A very tasty tea with all mod cons was taken, courtesy Dr Vanessa & Matt Parry. A marvellous effort indeed. He is in danger of being asked again. It seemed that the MCC batsman seemed intent on getting back to the hatch to partake in a few more tasty sarnies as the Lufthansa opening bowler ripped out the top order with 5 good wickets. Power, Van Driver, Hebel, Grier and Scott were all removed. All bowled except for Power who chipped one back to the bowler before he hastily returned for small talk with his inlaws who had travelled all the way from England to see him bat. Sembian top scored with 23* before he was joined by the skipper as the MCC ‘cruised’ home by 5 wickets with shitloads of overs to go.

The match finished around 5pm whereupon we awaited with baited breath the imminent arrival of these dreaded and hideous hailstorms. They did come but only after 9pm when most of the unconvinced MCC amateur weathermen were tucking into their 5th beer or getting their pipes cleaned. And so it came to pass that Paul Scott of the Antarctic, MCC bowler of their year 2001 was ultimately denied a bowl for having too long a gallop. What a funny old game it is Richie! But he’ll keep.

MCC team.

MARK ‘BUREAU OF METEOROLOGY’ LOVELL CPT
WAYNE VAN DRIVER (NO SIGN OF NECKSCARF)
STEVE POWER & UNIMPRESSED DORSET INLAWS
AMOS GLADSTONE HEBEL
HAZZA HAZZA HAZZA KHAN (WK)
PAUL SCOTT OF THE MUNICH TROPICS
PAUL QUIET MAN MCGREE
JASON ROID GRIER
DR MATT TEACOSY & SCARF PARRY
ANDREW POGUE & SHAMBOSTOCK
DR SEMBIAN APPAVU OF SHABASHLAND
Camouflaged chairmanesque green-panted guru Desmond Bradley

Scorer & Bat repairman John Hamilton

Umpire Mansoor (Pak Orient)

MCC Batsman chasing 61 to win.

Van dalsum

Bowled

5

Power

C&B

2

Hebel

Bowled – gate

0

Grier

Bowled, head up

9

Sembian

Shabash – not out

23*

Scott

Bowled

3

Lovell

Not out

2*

Bostock

dnb

0

Mcgree

Dnb

0

Parry

Dnb

0

Khanna wk

Dnb

0

TOTAL

17.4 overs

61-5

Lufthansa 60 all out. MCC WON BY 5 wkts.

Bowler

O

M

R

W

Hebel cranky

7

2

12

3

Quiet man Mcgree

8

3

23

3

Sembian

4

1

13

2

Spunk stock

3

1

5

1

Van Driver

2

0

2

1

MATCH REPORT MUNICH CC V MICC JUN 1ST 2002 IN ENGLISH GARDEN
Another hot and sultry day in the English Garden with, unusually, for this time of the year no apparent or imminent threat of golf-ball sized hailstones. Or were there?

The selectorial committee has stuck to the same tried and trusted formula with an unchanged line-up from the opening league game versus Lusthansa. This meant no place for the ‘injured’ captain of serious vice Blades who made his distaste well apparent for this perhaps harsh decision by performing a streak from the cover boundary at the tea interval. Or was it Max Walker?

Lovell won a toss for the first time since he started wearing long trousers and decided to bat first in the tropical temperatures. Van Driver disappointed all his fans all over the world by again deciding against the use of the elegant neckscarf and goggles. This is the final straw after the ceremonial burning of the ‘diahorrea’ pads and the giving away of an expensive club cap to a dodgy potential pipe cleaner after the German finals defeat in Moenchengladbul. It needed serious moral support from his partner Power to overcome this bad fashion decision as they set upon building a solid MCC base.

This proved to be well within their combined capabilities as the pair progressed smoothly to 80 for no loss at the 20over interval with some excellent running between the wickets. Spin had replaced the military medium trundlers and put the brakes on as Sweet Stevie P went caught behind for 33.

Van Driver soon followed caught and bowled for 39 as the MICC spinners threatened to bowl themselves back into the game. Lovell failed to impress and ultimately bored himself out going caught behind.

This brought Sembian to join Hebel and the pair brought the dying dregs of the innings back to life with some positive hitting. Hebel was out in the last over for 32 caught going for another six. Sembian meanwhile had progressed serenely to an unbeaten 48 off just 35 balls. Shabash.

Roid Grier unselfishly ran himself out off the penultimate ball as he attempted to give the little Indian master the strike.

MCC had finished, despite a momentary blip on an imposing 176-5 off their 40overs. Tea was taken courtesy of Kiwi Shamrocks. Great sandwiches. What a catch this eloquent young man might prove to be for any young single women reading this report out there. If only he could lose the very dodgy glaring Hawaii style shirts and singlet vests he would be right up there with the likes of Schmidthuber and van Driver vying for the title of MCC most eligible bachelor of the year 2002.

Patience was the key thing conveyed by the captain in the half-time pep talk. These words seemed pretty futile initially, as Scott struck with just the second ball as Grier scooped another good catch in the covers. Poguestock soon removed the other MIC opener ‘s furniture.

Catches then went down behind the wicket off Scott. Firstly the skipper was struck on the tit at first slip, the ball rebounding to the ground as he rebounded backwards on impact. Then Hazza spilled the same batsman diving to his right. Scott bowled with ‘guts’ and fire to finish with 1-15 off his 8 overs.

Wayne came on and immediately broke through bowling the next through the gate before he made way for the spin twins (quiet man Mcgree & Sembian) after the break.

There then followed a 12 over period where the away side started to bat well and pressurised the home side’s spin attack and the somewhat flustered fielders. Mcgree, perhaps somewhat perturbed at the sudden appearance of his fraulein on the boundary was given the long stick at times but recovered his composure well. He must have been bowling well as the opposition were soon accusing him of negative bowling a mere few inches outside off stick. It was Willin’n Hebel who turned things round with a rapid pick-up and direct hit to remove the dangerman Waleed. Great fielding. His partner finally (after surviving 3 drops) followed him back to the hatch as he heaved across the line to Sembian. This was game set and match to MCC as Dr Parry, Beau Stock and Sembian all took good catches as the opposition innings melted instantaneously.

Hebel (1-11) and Beau Stock (2-18) performed the last rites as MICC were bowled out for 127 with 4.1 overs remaining.

MCC 176-5

MICC 127 ALL OUT

MCC WON BY 49 RUNS

Sembian took the man of the match award (a lit Phillip Morris cigarette) after his unbeaten 48 2-30 off 8overs and a splendid catch on the run.

MCC TEAM

LOVELL (BRUISED TIT)
VAN DRIVER (SIXT)
POWER (NO PASS NEEDED)
HEBEL (FLOWER POT HAT)
GRIER (FRED A-STEROID)
MCGREE (NEGATIVE BOWLER)
SEMBIAN (TOTALLY SHABASH)
PARRY (DR DEREK STIRLING)
HARRY (NEW GLOVES)
BOSTOCK (LORD SHAMROCK)
SCOTT (2 JUMPERS ONLY)

MCC Batsman
Van dalsum

Caught&Bowled

39

Power

Caught behind

33

Lovell

Caught behind

4

Hebel

Caught sub

32

Sembian

Not out – shabash

48*

Grier

Run out – unselfishly

0

Scott

Not out

0

Bostock

Dnb

0

Mcgree

Dnb

0

Parry

Dnb

0

Khanna wk

Dnb

0

TOTAL

40 overs

176-5

MICC all out for 127. MCC WON BY 49 RUNS.

Bowler

O

M

R

W

Scott (4 jumpers only)

8

1

15

1

Bostock

7

1

18

2

Hebel

4.5

0

11

1

Van Halen

2

0

8

1

Quiet man Mcgree

8

1

42

1

Sembian

8

1

30

2

LEAGUE MCC V CCB JUN 8 IN ENGLISH GARDEN

Once again the sun gods came to the party and we were blessed with fantastic playing conditions. Losing the toss MCC were asked to bat. A decision at the time which seemed strange but paid off handsomely.

Stevie Power was the first to go playing across his stumps and was bowled leg stump. Skipper Lovell came to the crease looking full of confidence only to nonchalantly pat one to square leg. When Wayne Van Driver went for a slash (to a very wide one) outside off stump and was caught, MCC were 3 down for not many and game had opened up.

Sem-Bien and Andy H. steadied the ship somewhat with a productive partnership, runs coming freely as the result of some loose bowling. However having both departed (both to pretty exotic shots), and at 80/5 at the 20 over (drinks) break the situation of the game was evenly poised.

What came next can only be described as some of the worst batting you could ever want to see from a batting side. From 80/5 the MCC fell from grace to be out for 101 (from just 27 of the allotted 40 overs!). An atrocious effort given the great batting conditions, amount of overs available, and the very tasty buffet bowling at the teams disposable. Matt Parry decided to go farming and was bowled courtesy of a very agricultural swipe. Paul M’gree fell to a juicy full toss (which should have had the patrons in the Chinese Bier garden looking for a hard red object), instead it went straight to a jubilant square leg. Kiwi Bostock played all over a straight yorker and was bowled. Butcher Smith came in and started playing as if he’d been there all day, swatting a boundary and a couple of 2’s, he proceeded to then try swatting another one and was comprehensively bowled. The shot however did resemble more like a fly swatting exercise in Australia in summer. Hazza Khan was the last to go caught at point not getting on top of (or not hitting hard enough) a very wide one. Tone Blades was left not out and the innings came to a close. Some very angry and disturbed faces were left wondering of what could have been?

The interval was a good reflecting time and Sem-bien’s sandwiches and teas were much enjoyed! Well done. The CCB’s innings started slowly, Andy H and Kiwi Bostock bowling a good line, both bowling with accuracy and pace. The first wicket fell due a fine catch by P.M’gree, catching it on his second attempt.

CCB’s Skipper Kev Miles played one on (from Andy H) to a slight touch, which flicked the off bail. Pretty unlucky way to get out really, but he played and missed at more balls than he actually got bat on. From that point onwards the innings fell apart.

Kiwi Bostock finished his 8 overs with 3 wickets to his name, and P. M’gree bowled an excellent spell to finish also with 3 wickets. Wayne Van Driver also picked up a valuable middle order scalp. The tail wagged somewhat and it came down to a situation where the CCB needed only 38 to win with 2 wickets in hand. Tone blades stepped in and took the last 2 wickets, Paul M’gree taking the last catch. So, CCB all out for 69. A win for the MCC by 32 runs.

A good comeback by the MCC, an excellent bowling performance against a team who in all honesty didn’t really have a top order batsman. The bowlers made up for the terrible performance of the batsman.

A very valuable lesson was learnt and the same mistake can’t be repeated on the 22nd of June when the MCC take on SFLCC.

Cheers Kiwi.

MCC Batsman

Van dalsum

Caught bizarrely

30

Power

Bowled behind legs

2

Lovell

Caught flicking

0

Hebel

Caught

15

Sembian

Caught

20

Parry

Bowled – farming

0

Mcgree

Caught square-leg

2

Bostock

Bowled (not lbw)

3

Khanna wk

Caught – farming

4

Smith

Bowled

8

Blades

Not out

0

TOTAL

27.1 overs

101 all out

CCB all out for ’69’. MCC WON BY 32 RUNS.

Bowler

O

M

R

W

Bostock

8

4

9

3

Hebel

8

2

19

1

Van Halen

6

3

7

1

Quiet man Mcgree

8

4

15

3

Blades

4.2

2

13

2

Sembian

1

0

3

0

Power

1

0

1

0

MATCH REPORT MUNICH CC V FSL — June 22, 2002 LEAGUE IN ENGLISH GARDEN

On a day that would have had the good folk of Kandy or Colombo scrambling for the shade, the MCC were asked to go out and field under a blazing sun.

The wearers of the baggy black-and-gold are made of tough stuff however and there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that Sri Lankans would be skittled well inside the 40 overs. It was good to see some unexpected faces too, even if they were rapidly getting sunburnt: van Driver back from Spain early, Ian Finch stepping in for the hypothermic Robert Falconer (Paul) Scott, and the umpiring contingent from MIC replacing Dave Weatherall. (While an FSL victory might have been in MIC’s interest, getting an LBW suddenly became a distinct possibility for the bowlers.)

In a move that surprised everyone, including the bowler who was still getting changed as he made his way onto the field, the skipper asked Mystery Maysie to open the bowling. FSL survived the first over and McGree was then relieved by Willing-and-Able at the Scoreboard End, but the opening bats were clearly unnerved and in no mental shape to handle the pace attack of the two Andys. A super opening spell from both bowlers–plenty of lift and variation–soon had the Sri Lankans two wickets down for not many runs, and they had the fast outfield to thank for most of those.

The back of the FSL innings was broken however by Senor Wayne. Living up to his name, van Damage pounced on a prod to silly mid-on and, in one motion, threw down the stumps as the batsman found himself languishing on the wrong side of the crease. The skipper seeing V.D. so rampant then asked him to bowl. By the second ball, he had shattered the stumps again. He was almost involved in another run out in his next over but was thwarted by a prematurely dislodged bail. Eagle-eye McGree wins the fairplay award for that one.

With the quicks all exploiting the conditions for swing, wickets continued to tumble: Kiwi 2-28, Hebel 2-14ish, Wayne 2-14. Tim May also came back to bamboozle the batsmen and picked up 1-11. To be fair though there was a slight wag in the FSL tail. Fortune favours the brave it is said, and perhaps those with a heavy bat. In any event, 30 runs were added for the 7th wicket.

The end finally came however when Sembian was brought into the attack. Perhaps his match fitness leaves something to be desired–he managed only 3 deliveries–but he snapped up the last two wickets. The first ball was top-edged by the slogger and comfortably taken by Hazza. The second was an unsightly dot ball. Then the third ball was knicked to second slip, where Blades showed he was as sharp as ever, broken finger or not. FSL 82 all out off around 27 overs.

Lunch was a happy combination of ham and cheese sandwiches and chips–thanks Chef Khanna–but because Des Twinings Bradley was away and only he knows how to use the urn, the MCC had to go without tea.

The luncheon interval lasted just long enough for the opening pair to pad up and put their shirts back on. But once out in the middle, they made it look like they’d been there all day. Van Driver was in particularly good nick and Steve the Stare Power kept the strike rotated and the runs ticking over. Curiously, the FSL bowlers had seemed a lot quicker in practice or maybe they didn’t open with their best.

Either way, by the time Nelson was brought into the attack, the chase was almost half over. Wayne finally went bowled for 30 in a partnership of 49 for the first wicket. Hebel joined Power, the 50 was brought up in the 15th over, and then Steve found himself adjudged LBW for 9.

This brought in Parry who arrived at the crease to cries of “Boring” and “You call this entertainment?” from one of the less impressed spectators. Whether the batsmen were concerned about reaching the rain target (65 off 20 overs) or Parry’s calling left something to be desired, but at this point the boundaries started to come. Matt got two and Willing four, including a crushing cover drive that would have made David Gower ill. Then with the score on 82-2, Hebel (21) and Parry (9)–both looking for glory–were bowled by consecutive deliveries just to make the things look more unrespectable. It was left to Sembian and Lovell to take the asterisks; the very next ball took the edge of Captain Lovelli’s mandolin down to third man for 2 scampered runs. MCC 84-4 off 21 overs and win number four of the campaign.

MCC Batsman chasing 83 to win

Van dalsum

Bowled

30

Power

LBW!

9

Hebel

Bowled

21

Dr.Parry

Bowled

9

Sembian

Not out

0*

Lovell

Not out

2*

Blades

Dnb

0

Bostock

Dnb

0

Mcgree

Dnb

0

Khanna wk

Dnb

0

Finch

Dnb

0

TOTAL

20.2 overs

84-4

FSL all out for 82. MCC WON BY 6 WKTS.

Bowler

O

M

R

W

Bostock

8

3

28

1

Beachball Mcgree

7

3

10

1

Hebel

8

1

17

2

Van Halen

3

1

14

2

Pass Power

3

1

12

1

Sembian

0.3

0

0

2

MATCH REPORT MUNICH CC V PAK ORIENT JUNE 29, AWAY SOMEWHERE IN THE STICKS
Cast of Characters

Mark ‘Chief Meteorological Pessimist’ Lovell (c)
Tony ‘Vice’ Blades (vc)
Van Driver
Willing ‘n Hebel
Roid Grier
Hazza Khanna (wk)
Sembian ‘Shabash’ Appavu
Kiwi Bostock
Paul ‘all the wool from NZ’ Scott
Nav ‘What, there’s a German here?’ Sharma
Ian ‘Jonty’ Finch;
And special guest: Greg “I’m the bloody scorer, so why am I on the field?” Holmes

It was a fine day that greeted the cast somewhere in whoop whoop at the Pak Orient’s home ground, as the cast assembled for what was in effect the game to decide who would be walking away with the prize this year. The local press had also decided to show up, with an article appearing in the Süddeutsche Zeitung as a result.

Pak Orient won the toss and decided to bat. Paul Scott opened the bowling – a slashing edge went for 4 off the first delivery and it proved to be one of those days.

After some brisk early scoring, Scott managed to get a top edge from Mansoor, who was caught well by the Kiwi at fine leg. It didn’t slow the scoring, however, as Soliman was agriculturally aggressive. In the fifth over, with quite a few runs on the board already, a single moment altered the course of the match: Soliman, already on around 20 runs skied a ball off Paul Scott. Both Roid (mid-off) and Finch (cover) ran to catch it having eyes only for the ball. A sickening collision ensued. There was a lot of blood, and an Ambulance arrived taking both players to hospital. Finch had a cut under his eye stitched up, while Roid had a slight concussion and a lip as fat as Mick Jagger’s – or perhaps looking like he’d been injecting Steroids straight into his face. Roid had actually caught the ball and had it jarred out with the collision. It left the MCC reduced to 9 ‘fit’ men and Soliman still very much in (ultimately scoring 58). Greg the scorer was called up to take his place on the field to help the side, but with a player down and 2 of the best fielders of the club being raced to the Krankenhaus, even Greg’s best efforts couldn’t cover the loss in the field.

The MCC, still battled on valiantly, but all the bowlers were taken apart by some big hitting by the Pak Orient side. Wickets tended to fall at regular intervals, but many more balls were skied and landed in gaps, and though the run-rate slowed a little for a few overs around the 30 over mark, some late hitting from Waqar ensured that the MCC were in for a tough chase.

In the end, Andy Hebel was the least expensive and picked up 2 wickets, but a high scoring last over ruined even his figures. Scott and Blades each picked up 3 wickets, as Pak Orient piled on 268 runs from their 40 overs.

It was a tall order for MCC who had benefited from the return of ‘Louisville Lip’ Grier in the innings break ready to take his place in the batting line-up.

In the absence of Steve Power, Hazza opened as a pinch hitter with Van Dalsum. The move didn’t pay off and after mistiming almost every delivery, and being hopelessly outscored by Van Damage, Hazza eventually edged one to fly slip having scored only 4. This brought Hebel to the crease. We needed a big innings from him, but unfortunately it wasn’t to be, as he was out caught at short cover (somewhat controversially) for 7. But, by his own admission, he could easily have been out LBW shortly before that. Out came Jason ‘Jagger’ Grier to join Van Damage in steadying the ship and both players scored quite freely. Just as they were looking good, and Pak Orient a little rattled, Van Damage hit the ball straight back to the bowler for a well-compiled 31. Roid kept going, though and was starting to look very good, while Lovell provided good support. Again, the Pak Orient started to worry, as Roid took several boundaries off one over, but just as he reached 50, he cut a ball straight to point. Kiwi scored 15 even without his much needed batting bifocals. Semby came and went after having saved the team a few times with the bat this season was unable to repeat on this occasion. And when skipper Lovell was bowled for 35 with the score at 162, the game was as good as gone with the fat bearded lady loosening her vocal chords. In the end, Blades and Sharma ensured that some respectability was maintained through a good partnership for, what was effectively, the last wicket (Finch having not returned). The final MCC score was 199.

MCC’s first league defeat in two years. SHOCK! HORROR! With the sunshine fading, the players left the ground. Beaten, but firm in the belief that the gods were not smiling on them that day.

Written by Hazza.

MCC Batsman chasing 280, yes I repeat 280 to win

Van dalsum

Caught&Bowled

31

Khanna wk

Caught

4

Hebel

Caught short mid-off

7

Grier

Caught point

51

Lovell

Bowled

35

Sembian

Bowled

1

Bostock

Caught

15

Blades

Not out

24*

Mcgree

Dnb

0

Sharma.N.

Not out

8

Finch

Injured- absent

0

TOTAL

40 overs

199-8

MCC lost by 80 runs. Pocc 279-8 off 40 overs

Bowler

O

M

R

W

Scott (4 jumpers only)

8

0

54

3

Bostock

8

1

43

0

Hebel

8

2

37

2

Van Halen

3

0

19

0

Blades

7

0

66

3

Sembian

6

0

49

0

MATCH REPORT MUNICH CC V TEGERNSEE
Final League Game at Tegernsee 27 July 2002

After rumblings at Munich train station with a couple of liabilities nearly missing the train, it was smooth sailing all the way to beautiful Tegernsee. Kiwi was even good enough to buy a cricket magazine for wildman McGree to read the entire trip.

Once at the ground more rumblings started as to who was going to be detailed 12th man for the day. There were already volunteers a plenty. The MCC hierarchy of Richter Des, Lovell and v.D finally arrived well after the train possee in Badly’s luxurious Merc, having as usual enjoyed Matt Munro’s greatest hits including the obligatory ‘Born Free’ on the car stereo. It was (perhaps) harshly decided to keep Bradley concentrating on the scorebook rather than the corner volleyball court. Such was the possible temptation from the petite Arian blond in the bikini strutting her stuff in the sandy distance.

Anyway to the cricket and here was the team for the day:

LOVELL (happy as Larry) Herr Captain
Tony BLADES Grieg
STEVIE (workaholic) POWER
J.C VAN DAMAGE (Father Ted)
KIWI (where are my specs?) BOSTOCK
Francis KHANNA Weissbier
PAUL (country bumpkin) MCGREE
Dr. (of Gynecology I believe?) PARRY
NAV SNAKE CHARMA
PAULY HARTLIDGE
ME (FlowerPot) CRANKY HEBEL
Not forgetting Chairman & Scorer – Richter Des Bradley (but he’s paid his subs!)

Comments from Tony (Blades) Grieg before the match on the pitch and weather conditions:

Thank-you Richie, well welcome to our readers who have just joined us from Munich. Today’s weather doesn’t look all that flash at the moment however the surroundings here look a treat. And so does the eye candy over at the beach volleyball court. Rather fine indeed. Anyway, back to the pitch and weather, the ground is very wet and the grass very thick. Could almost imagine we were somewhere else. But anyway the short boundaries should make up for any runs lost due to heavy conditions. The bowlers could have some trouble with the Flicx mat under foot and will have to be careful not to break a leg. Otherwise, the weatherman tells me it should be clearing a little this afternoon.

Anyway with us now is Mark (Tubby Taylor) Lovelli the skipper of MCC and Moritz, skipper of Tegernsee for the toss (of the coin). And would you believe it, Mark has won his first toss (of the coin) in 5 years and very smartly has elected to kick with the wind (bat).

Comments from the super skipper: “Old Devonian proverb Tony – win the toss and bat you Sarf Efriken barsteward”.

Thank-you for those riveting words Mark.

Now back to you Rich in the central missionary position.

With the end of the season in sight and the batting award up for grabs, Van Driver and his partner in crime Dr Parry walked to the crease with the expectation of a big score and a chance to settle the batting prize once and for all.

With some wayward bowling to the left hand-right hand combination, Van Driver made the bowling side pay heavily for their misdirection increasing the score with increments of 4 or 6 instead of the impossible 1’s or 2’s.

The score was moving along nicely until Dr. Parry decided he had had enough and thought he would give the flowerpot a chance, departing the scene for a well-compiled 18. In hindsight, that wasn’t the smartest thing to do, as Hebel was back in the pavilion very quickly getting out in one would have to say very village fashion. Dragging the ball back on to his stumps with his foot.

Team player though he is Hebel knew that the skipper was positively itching for a bat. He and Van Driver consolidated the innings pushing the score along to 5 an over after the first 20. During the next 10 overs with some accurate bowling, Tegernsee managed to peg back the scoring rate limiting the skipper and van Driver to just under 4 an over off the 10 overs.

The intelligent and relatively careful batting however paid off with the in form batsmen at the crease for the last 10 overs. With some intelligent and powerful hitting from both the skipper and Van Driver, 100 runs were put on in the last 10 overs. Van Driver eventually feeling sorry for the home side skied a catch to mid wicket which was evidently dropped and decided to give them another one being caught at long on for an excellent 93.

Mark continued with his blazing run ending up at the end of the 40 overs with 82 n.o, well assisted in the last 2 overs by Francis Khanna Weissbier who also finished not out with three, despite trying persistently to run out the tiring skip with his Pamplona running style.

Lunch was then taken and the innings turned around with Bunty Blades and Pass Power taking the new pill. Blades finished with 0 8 off 3 with the ball swinging left right and centre. Power’s accurate bowling reaped early rewards for his side and finished with 2 13 off 6. Paul Hart had a chop finishing with 1 17 off 4 and Snake Charma 1 21 off 8. Flowerpot had a go but was taken off after being lifted over the fence from a badly executed slower ball finishing with 0 8 off 4. And Blind Bostock finished it off with the last wicket claiming 1 2 off 1.2.

The pick of the bowlers however was Paul country bumpkin McGree who devastated the Tegernsee innings with the figures of 4 32 off 7 with his darts. All together ‘well bowled Paul’.

Flower plot also chipped in with a very arsy run out somewhere in the middle of all that.

So MCC making 3 for 238 off their allotted 40 overs rolled the opposition for 109.

MEN OF THE MATCH:

Wayne Van Damage 93
Marky captain cranky Lovelli 82 n.o.
Paul wild man McGree 4-32
MCC 228-3 off 40overs

SCOREBOOK

Batsman

Van Driver Caught 93
Dr Parry Unusually Caught 18
F.Pot Hebel Unusually Bowled 4
Average Lovell NOT OUT 82
Khanna NOT OUT 3
Power
Bostock
McGree
Blades
Hart
N.Sharma

TOTAL 40 overs (3 Wkts) 238

Bowler O M R W
Power 6 1 13 2
Blades 3 0 8 0
Hebel 4 0 8 0
Hart 4 0 17 1
Sharma 8 1 21 1
McGree 7 0 32 4
Bostock 1.2 0 2 1

Tegernsee 109 all out

MCC won by 119 runs

Finish league with 5-1 record. Lose league on countback??. To be confirmed after ongoing legal wranglings in German high courts.

All rights reserved FlowerPot & LampShade Publishing GmbH.

Cup 2002

MATCH REPORT MUNICH CC V LUFTHANSA JULY 20 IN ENGLISH GARDEN
WEATHER CONDITIONS – Hot, Sultry

PITCH CONDITION – Plastic Bag Flicx

TEAM

LOVELL (happy as Larry)
BLADES (Darryl Hair)
POWER (never out LBW)
J.C VAN DAMAGE (Father Ted)
BOSTOCK (specsavers)
KHANNA (‘what no chicken?’)
MCGREE (Brazilian Sao Paulo afro)
PARRY (Dr buckets)
SEMBIAN (knee op – gute besserung)
GALE (groin/rib op – fell on mobile)
GLIGOROV (crawled off)
EDWARDS (Gerhard cider edvards)

With the selectors sharpening their axes and the rumblings lingering on from a not too distant hailstorm, MCC’S opening 2002 BCV Cup fixture brought Lufthansa’s finest pilots to the picturesque Hirschanger, home of the semi-legendary MCC for a quarter-final winner-takes all fixture.

MCC captain Mark “happy-go-lucky” Lovell skipped to the centre of the wicket holding hands with the opposition captain for the toss and came away with a win, electing to bat against the Lufthansa CC.

Openers Wayne van Damage and Steve ‘danger’ Power opened the innings and attempted to run each other out for a good four overs before Power got the worst umpiring decision of ALL TIME. He was adjudged LBW to a ball that pitched outside leg, turned at right angles and headed towards mid wicket, scraping his boot on the way past, with the score on 14.

Mr.”Happy as Pie” Lovell strolled to the crease in determined fashion and quickly gave the run rate a right good kick up the arris with a shitload of singles and twos as he and the ever enigmatic van Damage built the partnership of the day of 85. It was hard graft though, with the first boundary of the day coming up in the 24th over, guided fashionably between the wikki and first slip by Van Halen. Shortly after Lovell’s previous night’s liquids were just about sweated out of him, he started to eye off cover and edged one behind to be out for a much better than it sounds 32.

Van Driver was run out going for a suicidal non-existent second run when threatening to cut loose – top scoring with 61.

Unfortunately there then followed (something we have seen too much of lately) – a minor MCC collapse. With Parry, Sembian and Gale back in the hatch with not much success. A very determined Kiwi strode to the middle to grab his 4th LBW this year before former Aussie indoor cricket champion Harry Khanna thrashed a brutal 21, ably supported by quiet man McGree and Bunty Blades enabling the MCC to reach 158/9 off their allocation of 40overs.

Lufthansa flight 69 entered the runway and swatted a few short pitched pies from van Damage (8overs 2-29) before he said “f**k you” and trapped their star batsmen Milan in front for 15. With a superbly tight and unlucky spell from the other end from Kiwi Bostock (8overs 0-14) the MCC created a bit of a brain melt in the Lufthansa cockpit. This resulted in their opener trying to pinch a single off Mcgree at mid off, who reacted with a direct hit at the non-strikers end to send the visitors to 32/2.

Lovell then entrusted his spinners in McGree (8overs 1-30) and Sembian (7overs 4-32) to stifle the Lufthansa run rate even more in a great spin-twin phase spell of good line and length.

With a few close calls going the way of the opposition due to extremely “effective” umpiring LCC needed only about 60 off 10overs. Captain of vice Blades (4.4overs 3-14) was thrown the ball for an excellent mid-80s-Steve Waugh (DVT)-like performance of medium pace to clean out the LCC for 138 – ably supported by fine outfield catching from Van Damage, Gale and Parry.

M.O.M: Wayne van Dalsum 61 runs, 2 catches and 2 wickets.
Mug of the Day: Opposition square leg umpire. (SCHLAF GUT JUNGE)

Good Bloke of the Day: Andrew Bostock for being adjudged LBW for the 4th time this year and showing no dissent to the umpires or bringing the game into disrepute.

Best wishes go to the Indian Master Sembian who goes into hospital for a knee op. Not shabash but get fit soon old boy.

BE NAKED BUNTY PUB.02

Batsman

Van dalsum

Run out suicide

61

Power

Lbw obviously

5

Lovelli

Ct farming

32

Sembian

Ct bad knee

0

Hazza

Bowled

21

Gale

Ct farming

0

Dr Parry

Ct farming

3

Bostock

Lbw again

0

McGree

Ct quietly

7

Blades

Not out

3

Gimp

Not needed- pissed

TOTAL

40 overs

159-9

Bowler

O

M

R

W

Pogues bostock

8

1

14

0

Van driver

8

1

33

1

Sembian shabash

7

1

32

4

Mcgree Beachball

8

1

30

1

Bunty Blades

4.4

0

14

3

Power Tequila

2

0

13

0

SEMI FINAL MIC vs MCC
MCC reach Cup final

Munich Cricket Club (MCC) completed a strong victory today over arch-rivals, MICC in a hotly contested semi-final Cup match. Despite playing away from their home turf, MCC rose to the challenge in the knock-out semi, while the MICC’s folded like a pack of cards under the intense pressure of the occasion, eventually falling 33 runs short of a modest victory target.

MCC won the toss and decided to bat on a pitch that was playing a little bit slow and low. Despite the long grass and slow outfield, a target of 180 to 200 was considered the minimum on a paddock with very small square boundaries. And they got off to a solid start with Van Damage and the Skip comfortably seeing out the first overs with the new ball, and keeping the runs ticking over at a steady rate. The lads put on an opening partnership of 59, until the Skip played one on that kept low and was dismissed for 19. Van Damage was joined at the crease by Hebel, and they continued on the good early work, taking the score past the 100 with still 9 wickets in hand in the 28th over. Van Damage again proved his big game status, scoring another 50 run milestone when it matters most. When the time came to press the accelerator and give it the farmer’s long handle, Wayne was well caught at cow. After that the rot set in, with a big batting collapse by the MCC. Is van Damage the shop steward – ‘one out – all out?’ MCC proceeded to lose their last 9 wickets for 40 runs, to be all out for 142 in the 38th over. Andy Hebel eventually finished with 30 runs to be second-top score. No other batsman is worth a mention (Ed – a bit harsh?). Three more were caught by freak fielder Waleed at cow and two more played on – struggling to overcome the low inconsistent bounce. A 142 run target was definitely a gettable one; with a required run-rate of just above 3.5 an over. Hardly, a ‘big arsk Richie.’

A strong and tight bowling and fielding display was required to get out of this tight corner, and that is exactly what followed. The new ball was given to Scott and Van Damage, with Scott getting the first early breakthru, with a great catch taken at second slip by young German international Nav Sharma. Shabash. Van Damage followed with a wicket from the other end shortly afterwards, being rewarded for a long and loud LBW ‘plea’. As well as getting the early wickets, the run rate was kept right down, as the MICC’s had great trouble finding a bad ball to score a boundary. This pressure was maintained right thru the MICC’s innings, and with regular wickets being taken, they never looked like making a successful chase, as they wilted under pressure. Further fielding highlights were provided by Nav, with an excellent catch coming in from the deep, to dismiss the MICC’s danger bat, Waleed off McGree. And Grier also completing a great catch jumping off the hill (in Aussie rules fashion) on the short boundary. Not a fielder in sight to collide with – thank god. Andy Hebel finally found his line to knock the stumps over in successive balls to put the MICC’s really on the ropes, a blow from which they never recovered. Bowling honours in the end were shared overall, with every bowler managing a wicket or 3. The MICCs were eventually rolled for 109 in the 36th over – a swipe off Billy Bob Blades disappearing into Lovelli’s waterbed behind the wicket.

It was a great team effort by the boys from the MCC, who will have to maintain that high standard of form into the Cup final against the Pak Orient on Sept 8. And what a clash that will be, with the 2001 League champs keen to take some revenge on the POCC for stealing this year’s League crown on countback. It should be a great game (hailstones permitting of course)…

Special thanks to Dr. Parry for performing the unwanted task of 12th man’s duties. You will be rewarded in a future life. And to Richter Des for the cake, water and, well for just being the Richter. He has the sh1ts though with Bostock for excessive appealing.

Copyright Quietman Pub@Beachball.com

MCC Batsman

Van dalsum

Caught at cow

51

Lovell

Bowled, played on

19

Hebel

Caught at cow

30

Grier (ZIM)

Bowled, played on

1

Scott

Bowled thru gate

3

Mcgree

Bowled, played on

4

Khanna

Bowled thru gate

8

Bostock

Bowled thru gate

0

Blades

Caught at Cow

2

Power

Not out

4

Sharma.Nav

Caught at cow

1

TOTAL

37.2 overs

142 all out

MICC all out for 109. MCC WON BY 33RUNS to reach cup final.

Bowler

O

M

R

W

Scott (4 jumpers only)

7

1

16

1

Van Damage

4

1

10

1

Amos Hebel

7

0

30

3

Spunk stock

8

1

17

1

Quiet man Mcgree

8

1

23

3

BBBlades

1.5

0

11

1

FINAL POCC vs MCC
CAPTAIN’S CUP FINAL DISASTER LOG V POCC SAT SEP 14 IN JO’HASENBERGL

TEAM

LOVELL ©

BLADES (vc)

VAN DALSUM (vd)

HEBEL (amos)

BOSTOCK (sprinkler)

PARRY (dr)

KHANNA (wk)

MCGREE (kip)

SCOTT (pullis)

POWER (picnic)

SHARMA N (good luck!)

NICHOLS (12THman & pencils)

HOW IT ALL WENT PETE TONG…..
01. Dr.Liability failing to make Munich Hbf meet on time.

02.Dr.Liability erroneously thinking that we were playing at the Sri Lankans ground, not the Pak O ground.

03.Dr.Liability thinking it was a 1pm start not 1230sharp.

04.Vd.Liability getting off at wrong underground station on way to Johasenbergl despite having played at the ground on numerous occasions during last 13years.

05.Quietman Mcgree quietly falls asleep on arrival at the ground.

06.Captain delaying toss to wait for liabilities and removal of hideous sandtrack bunkers near boundaries.

07.Captain promptly losing toss again.

08.MCC asked to field on stinking hot late summer’s day.

09.Skiers going astray in the glaring sunlight.

10.No ambulances needed though to attend to fielding injuries.

11.Good comeback with the ball as Bostock continues his fine form with 4-22.

12.Pocc plummet to 174 all out after usual quick start with lots of aggressive farming.

13.Mid innings ploy from opposing captain, Waqar asking if we would be interested in some curry at the break.

14.MCC seen frenetically scavenging leftovers at the troth.

15.Very very tasty indeed. Shabaash.

16.Great start to the chase with Lovell run out backing up. Turned like a ballet dancer after 13pints of lager. Couldn’t wait to tuck into more of the chicken curry (allegedly).

17.Soon to be followed by van Damage in all too bizarre fashion as it all seemed to go pearshaped.

18.Shuaib (‘but he’s paid his subs’) & Waqar rip through rest of MCC batting.

19.Harry left not out on 13. No chicken curry left in the pot either.

20.Finish at the earliest of doors with the fat lady struggling to make the premature end due to getting off at the wrong Ubahn stop.

21.Thanks to all the supporters: Mrs. Hebel and friends, the Hamiltons, Bill Cooper (Mcc wk legend), Sembi, Prav and for Apprentice Scorer Alex ‘Rusty Watch’ Nichols for his immaculate pencilwork.

22.Consolation beers in beergarden, no consolation at all.

23.Batting pants all season. Bowling very good, excellent in fact. Fielding ordinary. Catching village.

24.Good luck to young Nav Sharma as he sets off for studies in England. Come back soon and show us the error of our ways Nav.

25.Ah well, soon be winter. Ashes in Oz. Roll on 2003. Please forgive me Richter for MCC have failed to add silverware to our bulging MCC cabinet. As a result I offer my head as penance.

Copyright PercyPotless at Headon’block publishing 02

Batsman MCC chasing 175 to win

v.d

Run out

14

Lovell

Run out village

0

McGree

Bowled

14

Hebel

Ct wk

9

Power

Bowled

2

Parry

Bowled

1

Bostock

Ct midoff

3

Blades

Bowled

0

Khanna

Not out

13

Scott

Bowled

1

Sharma N

Bowled

0

TOTAL

62 all out

MCC Bowler

O

M

R

W

Scott Jumpers

6

0

34

1

Quietman Mcgree

7

1

17

1

BBBlades

7

0

37

0

Amos Hebel

6

0

32

2

Bostock

4.5

1

22

4

Dr. Parry

4

1

25

1

Ashes 2002

Munich Ashes Aug 24

MCC England v MCC Aussies – 40over match in English Garden

Welcome back to the Hirschanger cricket ground for the much-awaited annual Munich Ashes.

When the Aussies stumbled into the ground, the usual rumblings eminated from the ever hopeful Englishmen that hail was forecast for the late afternoon. However, the weather was beautiful with not a cloud in the sky.

Blaring music blasted out from the teams’ change rooms, the Aussies crooning to Cold Chisel, and the Poms singing shrilly Rule Brittiania – whispering at what was to come, the match up of the year between Bunty’s Boys and Lovell’s Lords.

Bunty Blades and Lovell had a toss, and using his superior coin tossing skills, Bunty won the toss he had to win; otherwise he would have been in the field with only 9 takers. Glig the liability of course was late – crawling.

So Horse and Oh!McGree took their Aussie blades onto the pitch, whilst Butcher Schmidt and Flowerpot Hebel strapped on their pads, just in case. A strong half-century opening stand meant those pads would not be needed for a long time. Despite a brief moment, where Oh!McGree pretended to nick the ball behind, this solid opening partnership nearly lasted till drinks – seeing off the opening attack with aplomb.

However left-handed Horse Carr spooned one up in Gale’s first breezy over, departing with his tail between his legs back to the pavilion for a well-made 20.

The butcher stepped onto the field, and showed his ability to stick around (surviving 2 massive LBW shouts where the umpire was allegedly unsighted) and let Oh!McGree continue the good work.

After a drinks break, they went back out there, and were soon both run out in a series of mix-ups, but not before Oh!McGree knocked up 44 with the Aussies on the way to a good total.

The demise of cranky hard man Hebel though was not a good sign, showing that Pommie Bostock was bowling a wicked line.’ You need a bit of luck’ – muttered the successful bowler.

A rally by Roid Grier and the TrumpCard Ringer (Kann) commenced, pushing the team well past the 120 mark, until Trumpie skied it to Power who held a good catch on the fence.

Following that Huhner (Khanna) and Bunty Blades added themselves quickly to the Pommie hat rack, bringing Hitman Holmes to the middle. Hitman tried to give the strike to Grier by knocking it through Jumpers Scott (sorry Paul – hope the arm is fine now), leaving Lord Stringy bloke to complete the rest of the over after Scott was unable to continue.

Grier belted a few more with some large hitting before being bowled by Bostock. Glig gave the Phantom Plummer a pretty easy LBW decision next ball, and Pommie Pogue-stock suddenly had a Michelle 5-for.

Muzza Coles came in, cool as a cucumber. Despite the close field and pending hat-trick (perfect for that growing hat-rack), scored a couple of runs pretty quickly, and defended those wickets stoutly. Hitman then played across a straight ball, ending the Aussie innings a couple of overs short, giving Pommie 6/25, and leaving the Aussies to defend 149.

Lord Power and Duke Jumpers opened the chase, whilst Trumpie opened the bowling, and very early on shattered Power’s furniture. The Gimp, meanwhile was let loose at the other end. He performed admirably to remove Jumpers before he and Jardine Lovell could get a good partnership started.

Jardine stood unworried for a while, scoring well, whilst Oh! McGree did it again! removing Sir Schuaib and Gardener Gale quickly.

Pommie Bostock and Jardine then proceeded to move the score forward keeping the English in the game. However Jardine wrongly tested Bunty’s juggling technique at 1st slip. The Quiet man had ‘done it again’.

The Tour Organiser Edwards replaced him, and kept some sort of momentum going, but when Bostock had had enough to be replaced by Rusty watch Nichols, some Englishmen looked towards the sky for the hail rumoured to be approaching.

Horse scored the Rusty’s wicket, and Puddicombe came on and soldiered valiantly helping the Tour Organiser towards the 100 mark. And the fat lady was soon spotted by the men’s urinals loosening her vocal chords. Cider Edwards blasted one to Bunty’s good hand to be C&B in a flash. Finch helped Puddicombe for a short while, until he departed when threatening to break loose. People wrongly presumed it to be all over when the Stringy fellow come on to the field, with almost 50 runs still to win.

However these guys showed many upper order batsman in both teams, that sticking around and scoring runs wasn’t really that hard, until the score reached 119, still 30 runs short, Puddi was bundled out, leaving Stringer stranded on 10*.

A tough entertaining day ended with Aussies on top, a good thing, because after 9 years of Ashes battles, it would not be nice if we (Aussies) were 8-1 down.

Thanks for Des & Wayne for the organisation. The darkest of dark horses (Hamilton) for scoring. Bunty for getting the best bunch of Aussie blokes together to play, to the real Kiwis for Umpiring, to all the boys (even the Poms) for playing, and for those poor buggers who came to watch us.

The evening ended up with a great barbie with FORSCHUNGSBRAUEREI beer which no-one recalls drinking. A top drop.

RGDS

GREG THE HITMAN HOLMES

Batsman MCC Aussies

Carr

C&B Gale

20

Mcgree

Run out (quietly)

44

Smith

Run out (butchered)

5

Hebel

Played on bostock

6

Grier

Bowled (finally)

36

Kann

Ringer

15

Khanna

Lbw

2

Blades

Played on

0

Holmes

Bowled but inj scott

3

Glig

Lbw (bunny)

0

Coles

Not out – somehow

2*

TOTAL

38.1 overs

149 all out

MCC England Bowler

O

M

R

W

Scott (4 jumpers only)

7.4

0

28

1

Steve the Power

8

0

33

0

Schuaib

7

0

25

0

Bostock (Pommie)

7.1

1

25

SIX

Farmer Gale

6

1

17

1

Lord Stringer

2.2

0

8

0

Batsman MCC England

Power

Bowled behind legs

0

Scott

Bowled gimpish

5

Lovell

Caught BBB slip

19

Schuaib

Bowled Mcgree

2

Gale

St Mcgree allegedly

0

Bostock

Ct (walked)

20

Edwards

C&B BBB

16

Nichols

Dark horsed out

4

Puddicombe

Flew in for day

12

Finch

Not late

7

Stringer

Not out??

10*

TOTAL

34.4 overs

119 all out

MCC England 119 all out. MCC Aussies WON BY 30 RUNS.

Bowler

O

M

R

W

Jules Kann

8

1

19

1

Gimpage Glig

4

1

11

1

Mcgree

4

0

16

3

Carr-nage

5

0

18

1

Amos Hebel

5.4

2

11

2

BBBlades

5

1

7

2

Muzza Coles

3

0

27

0

*!*s