Vienna 2006

Vienna 2006

Kiwi – 7.00am All Black dawn raid – Chunder recipient – met Emalie – said goodbye to Emalie (what a “women”) – Mandatory Sunday afternoon tour vanish
Des – “But, we’ve got a return ticket” – Restless sleeper – Then slept better knowing he’d found those 2 lost runs – Enjoyed Bermuda Triangle
Brendan – Met him in a Gay Bar – Raincoats – Lance Cairns
Ryan – Deja Vu (Christie) – Way out of line for 4 hrs and 3 mins out of the 4 hr and 12 min train trip back – Built up “Hooters” to no avail – Rip van Winkel
Palfers – Raybands – Tasmanian Wombat – Hey, Teacher, leave those kids alone…
Finchy – Happens on tour, stays on tour, right lads?! – met the “Kaiser” – Tour debutante (got a taste for it)
Glig – Solo “Empire” – did wonders for Russian/Aust relations – Sideshow bob – Big, Bigger, Biggest
Phil – Lord Luccum – Lovin it at hostel bar – Eagle eye
Van Daddy – Crowd killer – Drank too much at the BBQ, let himself down in front of loved ones – Was on track for 150 when he picked out the one boy on the leg side fence
Matt Daddy – Tummy shiner – Took a catch it/wear it screamer at fly slip – Hankies
Brydon (Cousin of..) – claimed to be a Kiwi (Jury out..) – redemption in the field – Quiet first tour
Greg – Questionable choice of shirt (Killing the Dragon) – Hand buckets – Tired to hit his first ball into the Danube, when specifically told to do the opposite

– wakening on Saturday morning so pissed I was seeing double when I looked across to your bed
– having Darren Gough take us on a bike tour in Wachau
– Gligs face in the bar when he saw “big, bigger and Gligorich style”
– Kiwi`s face when he saw Amalie
– Kiwi`s face when she told him she had a boyfriend in Sweden
– whingeing Aussies on the bike tour
– impressing the Viennese with the club stats for an hour or so
– visiting bars where they sell genuine Budweiser from Budvar.
– glig leading us into a gay bar
– the unforgettable visit to Hooters
– embarassment as Finch and Saling shouted and whistled out of the 1516 brewery window at ladies

– Ryan and his eagerness to get home to do the “really hot” yankie bird, and her disappointment at not seeing him in the bar the following night

– Top organisation from the Kiwi, yet Amalie didn’t reward him for his efforts

– Glig managing to pull 2 cuties in the centre of Wien on Friday night, only to blow it by saying they looked 13!

– Wayne’s pull shot for 50 which has been immortalised by Greg forever

– Glig telling the Russian waitress to f**k off after dinner on Friday

– The way in which the game was played (almost forgot we were there for a cricket match!)

– Vodka Redbull, mmmmmm

Not a summary
Like with many previous MCC Tours, the long over-due return to Wien began in earnest at Munich’s Central Station. All the signs were good with tour virgin Finch even turning up on time. The party swelled to what must be a record 16-strong with families Parry & Van D ensuring high numbers. Only Greg & Andrea opting for autobahn over deutsche bahn (someone had to lug the kit bag across the alps!)

With everyone safely on board and Joshua starting to get high on gummi-bears (nice one Ryan!) Munich fast became a distant memory. Somewhere, from beyond the grave, Falco could be heard warming up… Vienna was indeed calling!
The beer was flowing and Glig had done an early doors runner to the buffet car having brought too little booze (has he not learned form experience???), everyone seemed to be enjoying the somewhat cramped but comfy 6-seater cars. Kiwi had impressed early doors with his management, but many (including Kiwi himself) were sure this would not last.

Josh was not the only one as high as a kite as the border fast approached. It seems Ryan had supplied Van D junior with so many sweets to take the heat off of him. Glig, declaring that anyone who travels on a train with him will be searched, panicked Ryan into taking certain substances in order to destroy the evidence. Mixed well with the beer, eh Ryan?

Arguably, the highlight of the journey was making the acquaintance of ex-junkie “Ralph” (real name unknown, all will be clear as you read on). After Linz the train filled up beyond capacity so many travellers were left to sit in the aisles whilst those of us who were fortunate enough to have reserved seats (thanks again Kiwi, best 2,50€ ever spent) could sit (or in Ryan’s case recover) in comfort. Ralph parked himself outside of our cabin next to a group of Italians who were armed with enough beer to keep even Brendan quiet (well, it would have if they’d have shared with him – not a happy bunny). As receptive as our boys are Kiwi, Palfers, Glig and Brendan started chatting to the man of no known name and he in turn parked himself in a vacant chair in the carriage. Your truly was not an eye witness to what happened next, but by all accounts, Ralph was so Brahms and List that he put his cig out in his beer and then took a swig, mmmm, nice! As he registered what he’d done, he proceeded to spit out the said cig end and the beer all over Kiwi. Suddenly, there were a lot of vacant seats in the compartment.

If anyone’s wondering what was going on in the other two carriages its hard to say. Wayne was fairly quiet in his as he was out numbered by the opposite sex, 4-1 as Joshua was being entertained by Ryan (guess they were on the same wavelength) and two non-German, non-English, non-any known language to us speaking girls had snaffled the two free seats. In the middle compartment Des, Phil & familie Parry were simply enjoying one another’s company.
Upon arrival at Wien Westbahnhof only Ryan was showing signs of any fatigue. Even Joshua had come down from his sugar-rush and the party of 16 split into 3 groups – half of which headed for the world renowned Wombats Hostel. Wien had recently seen a larger, more modern Wombat spring up just an Alex Gale’s throw from the station. The 8 hostellers marched on by, another 10 minutes, to the original and certainly I’d say best Wombats Hostel where once again Kiwi showed why he should be made club tour president. 2 en-suite rooms with 2 bunk beds was just what the doctor (not you Parry) ordered.

A quick shower and it was down to the bar to check out the local brew and of course the not so local delicacies, which had descended on Wombats from all over the globe. It looked slim pickins on the first night, but Ryan thought it was a case of déjà vu and could not believe his luck/misfortune* (*delete as applicable) when who should he see in the bar, but Christie – his fellow American and conquest of only a few nights before. See Ryan, this is why you talk to women as well as the other stuff!!! It didn’t matter as Sailing had promised us Hooters and even a guaranteed rematch could not deter him, so off we went in search of the world famous “restaurant”.

A quick taxi ride downtown and there we were… standing outside of the world famous, er, well, not Hooters. Apparently, it had moved almost overnight to another part of town, so the 8 hungry soles were forced to make do with regular Austrian Fayre in the 1516 Brewery. Ryan was soon chomping at the bit, wanting to cut the night short and get back to his personal hooters girl. He (and Finch) started wolf whistling out of the window at a hen party across the road. It really was time to liven the night up. The food came, so did the wine. It was tested, discussed (MCC wine connoisseur Brendan on the scene) & sent back for being corked. As if that didn’t piss off our Russian waitress enough, I am sure Glig doing his bit for Ozzie-Rusky relations by telling her to f**k off when the bill came, sealed it!

For those of you thinking this is fast turning into the Ryan Sailing show you will be pleased to know that was him for the night. Never seen anyone so eager to get back to a hostel! Palfers joined our hero and the remaining 6 went in search of the Bermuda Triangle…

The hip and happening part of Vienna around Schwedenplz was, as you’d expect heaving on a Friday night. Once Des and Phil had found a perch from where they could see Wien’s talent in all its glory the vodka redbull’s started flowing. Glig, seeing his mission in life was to talk to ever single “Wienerin”, seemed to have cracked onto a rather fine pair and with wing-man Brendan on hand to take the bullet (though neither could be described as anything short of hot) things looked promising. With Puds, Finch, Kiwi and the Richter moving in to see more of the boys in action, Glig managed to blow it in the blink of an eye. “How old are you…? 13”. If looks could kill, Glig’s number would have been up. They could not exit fast enough. As if things could not get any worse, the troops were lead into a gay bar by either Glig or the Richter himself (depending which source you believe).

Glig did redeem himself somewhat when, outside, he managed to get two girls play a little tonsil tennis with each other, as Brendan and Finchie looking on in amazement.

With one more bar visited and several litres of vodka Redbull consumed in the company of a few ladies from the Neuperlach area of Munich, the troops headed off knowing that the game was only around the corner and some serious shuteye was needed. Well, all knew that except Glig who went solo in Wien til the wee hours…

What felt like minutes after heads hit pillows, Kiwi instigated the dawn raid down to the Irish pub to see NZ v Aus in the tri-nations. Palfers, Ryan, Brendan were his wingmen. I guess Ryan (being a non Ozzie/Kiwi) went along simply to escape his bed and Christie’s clutches. Surprisingly, after he left she didn’t feel like staying with Des and Puds and exited too.
One really could not have wished for a nicer day as the late summer sun beamed down on the luscious green pitch that was home to Vienna Cricket Club. From the minute we were greeted by the Richter’s opposite number, Siv, to the time we staggered away from the after match bbq and booze up, everything went perfectly. The opposition were even impressed by the MCC historical stats!

Toss was duly won by captain Parry (could teach Mark a thing or two, eh?) and even with all the team turning up well before start, batting was the only thing on the Doctors mind.

The scorecard can tell you the story of the game, but if you want to see Wayne’s superb 50 summed up in more than words (crowd killer was the best we could come up with), take a look at Greg’s homepage. One awesome pull shot for 6 brought up the half-century in style. He was looking untroubled until, in his 60s, he found the lone fielder sweeping cow corner.

Everyone chipped in with runs, wickets or catches in what was a true team performance. Runner up to Wayne in shot of the match went to Greg for his attempt to pull the first ball he faced into the Danube after being told to play himself in. Still, at least his choice of pre-match shirt (“Killing the Dragon”) will ensure there will be more to remember from Holmes that day (I bet there is no photo of that on your webpage!)

A tummy shiner and a screaming catch at fly slip for Dr Parry; Juggling from Brydon (have we mentioned the other tour debutant yet?); Glig’s subdued celebration at running 20 metres to hang onto a bute at fine-leg; Brendan thinking he was Lance Cairns with an array of 4’s & 6’s at the end of the innings, and Ryan being run out for a duck on his last tour (who would do a thing like that to you, Ryan?) were just some of the many highlights of a game which summed up the day as a whole. It’s a shame that such spirit and fair play is rarely witnessed in Munich cricket.

The feast of a BBQ meant that everyone went away happy and, with the amount of alcohol provided by our hosts, Wayne could let his hair and family down with the amount of beer consumed.
For most of us it seemed like a week since we’d had a good nights sleep. With that in mind Ryan decided to “have a little snooze” which took him right through to checkout time on the Sunday. The rest of the hostellers decided that the pyjama party in the bar was as far as they’d get tonight. It turned out to be a corker of a night, especially for Des as not only had he found the 2 missing runs (and was therefore able to sleep that night) but was content at the bar having found out they had genuine Budweiser from Budvar. Puds joined him and with his eagle eye scouring the talent, he was his usual quiet happy self.

Even though the pyjama party was quite full, there was a distinct lack of talent for our tired heroes. Enter Emalie & the “Kaiser”… The minute the 2 Swedish beauties entered it was clear that Kiwi’s and Finchie’s night would not be an ordinary one. I can still hear Kiwi’s words echoing through the halls of Wombats… “Emalie, what a woman”. His world came crashing down at the moment he found out she had a bloke back in Sverige and was happy with him. All that groundwork and nothing more than an email address to show for it. Oh well, there is always next years tours! As for Finch, well, we all know golden rule #1… What goes on tour stays on tour (right, Ryan?)

Compared to what had gone on prior, Sunday was pretty uneventful, for those who didn’t go on the wine tour at least. I hear that the highlight there was not the amount of wine consumed in the 7-hour trip, but that fact that Darren Gough was the tour leader.

We bode farewell to Wombat’s (no doubt will be the preferred choice for Wien 07) and the party split into smaller groups. Phil “Lord Lucan” Puddicombe did his usual early morning disappearing act and was not seen again until it was time to board the train.

In keeping with tradition, Kiwi also slipped away from the pack, no doubt to hook up with some eastern European honey. Seems to be his trademark on tour by all accounts.
Amazingly, all 16 of the train tour party converged on Wien Westbahnhof in good time and the return home to Bayern began. With a change in Salzburg the first part of the journey saw Glig disappear to the bar, pull a bird, snog her in full view of the other patrons and only reappear as we pulled into Salzburg. Ryan and Brendan shared their wine samples with the rest and they were soon crying into their empty bottles and Ryan went to join Glig in the buffet car.

Josh seemed to have the most energy (had Ryan given him more gummi-bears?) while most of the party tried to get some sleep for the first time all weekend. A somewhat subdued end to the weekend, but Ryan managed to annoy most passengers for all bar about 5 minutes of the journey. He certainly won’t be forgotten easily and his presence on the 2007 tours will be sorely missed!

If any of you are still awake, I have to say that it’s by far the best tour I have ever been on and I hope it was worth the 5 week wait for the report. Here’s to a successful 2007-touring season. I cannot wait! Your no-longer tour virgin, Ian Finch